The Y-M-C-A

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Of course, whenever I hear the YMCA song I think of my brother running through the crowd, slapping his bare ass while wearing his loin cloth Halloween costume, but I digress...

We have been members of the local YMCA for a lot of years now, and in January it's pretty much a living hell because people make resolutions and they head out in force for a few weeks. There aren't any parking spots, the hot tub is filled with flesh, and even as I walked on the track the other day, people were huffing and puffing their way around.

And I can stand to lose a few pounds, but some of the people I saw could stand to run non-stop from here to Edmonton, Alberta and back. No breaks, no food allowed.

And they'd still be obese.

Yet what gets to me is that strange, uncomfortable vibe in the locker room, and seeing some of these humungous asses in the shower.

Upon arriving I always try to find an isolated area of the locker room where I can change clothes in peace. I will head for the quiet corner, and hope that no one else comes by. Then I will go and work out, shower, hit the tub, shower again, and then head for my secluded spot to change.

Except its never still secluded.

The other day two huge, older men...both naked...stood three feet away. They didn't dress as they talked. They simply stood there and talked about their families, their jobs, and who'd win the Pittsburgh-Denver game. They evidently hadn't seen one another in five years. They were happy to have their reunion butt-naked.

I found it weird.

First off, I am not comfortable enough to stand naked in front of anyone for any length of time. I certainly couldn't stand a foot apart from another man and talk about the weather, football, or anything else. Sooner or later I'd have to mention something about the fact that we were both naked.

It probably wouldn't be a kind comment either.

I might have to point and laugh.

I dressed as quickly as possible. They were still chatting. They were laughing. They were still nude.

As I headed for the door, I took one glance back. One of the guys got more comfortable by putting his left leg up on the bench.

"Ha-Ha, you don't say!"

If I could've ran, I would have.

I didn't want to see them embrace goodbye.

I can't wait until the resolution stage is over.

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