Spare Parts and Broken Hearts...

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...keeps the world turning.

Through the years I've watched others suffer losses of epic proportions and it would always consume me as I wondered how they suffered through life carrying a broken heart along with them.

Now I know: Not very well.

There are moments when the sadness just overwhelms you - and times when you simply shake your head and wonder why it went down like it went down. There are days when you don't feel like doing much at all, but you forge ahead, determined not to be whipped by life.

Sometimes you wear the sadness like a veil - it feels like the heavy clouds are pressing down on your head - and still you try and endure.

When it happens like this, the best advice I have is to take it one moment at a time - one task after another until the day is done. Life isn't designed to be lived in such a manner, but live it you must.

And still, there will be moments - innocent moments that rip at your heart as you do the usual things - like seeing the old e-mail address in front of you, and mentally figuring that you can probably delete the address so that it doesn't sneak up on you, but powerless to do so because you just can't face not looking at it.

And that 9 o'clock phone call each day... I now hate the nine o'clock hour.

Yet life is still here for the taking, and drifting down, down, down into some sort of mindless abyss clearly isn't an option.

So, with the gout still destroying my ability to do my usual apelike walk, I move ahead - one step at a time.

Comments

Carrie Lynn Fazzolari said…
The mindless abyss sometimes works though. Staying there is when you have a problem. I sang along with Jeff today - top of our lungs as I drove, and it was awesome. Then I picked up the phone to call Lynn and realized I had saved it as "Jeff" in my cell phone. I'll never erase it either, even if the number gets changed.
21 April, 2009
deafjeff said…
Just standing still, having a converstion in my head, one we had dozens of times. The sadness comes and someone asks why the long face? My only answer is life sucks. Then go about some mindless task until the ol' brain can think anything else....and broken hearts, so true.
21 April, 2009
John said…
"Take each day as it comes" and "get through them one at a time" used to sound so cliche. They have become a lifestyle. There is a way to get on with it, there is not a way to get over it. Hang in there buddy.
21 April, 2009
Andrea Renee said…
So very true...
23 April, 2009
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