I'm Not Much of An Atheist

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My kids love the battles of good versus evil. In many respects it is the story of the world and almost every movie pits some form of a man in a white hat against a man in a black hat.

Last night I let the dogs out and looked straight up at the high moon and the brilliant stars twinkling in the night sky - "You suck!" I yelled as I looked up, and then the real battle of good and evil sort of struck me behind the eyes.

I remembered something that the nuns told me years ago about how God was in a fight against the evil in the world, and that man had brought sin down on their own heads by committing the original sin. The nuns explained that the blessings were handed out by God, but that evil originated elsewhere - perhaps Satan!

I always figured that the nuns were biased, but looking at the brilliant night sky, I sort of dug deep to understand that my anger was certainly misdirected. God doesn't cause pain - God can't guard against the flaws of man. God must have a grand purpose, right?

It is tempting when one is hurting to believe that there is no god watching over us. Actually, it's human nature to make that leap. But I make a lousy atheist because I don't see it. If this is it - what is the ultimate purpose? There isn't one, right? We eat, we sleep, we love, we laugh, we cry, we die, and then nothing?

That certainly doesn't make sense, even when I'm in this nonsensical frame of mind.

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