Thoughts of a Common Man

On February 9th from 5 PM to 8 PM, do yourself a favor and visit the Hunter's Hope Gala at the Buffalo Bills Fieldhouse. Every man, woman and child living in Western New York knows the amazing story of Hunter Kelly and his difficult battle with Krabbe Leukodystrophy, the disease that ultimately claimed his life. Yet there isn't anything that could ever claim Hunter's spirit - and the gala is a tremendous celebration of life. Last year my boys had a blast - we kicked field goals, I raced Kathy around an obstacle course (I just got rid of the turf burn after falling and losing to her), and we joined in the celebration of children, and the incredible spirit of Hunter Kelly's life. This year, I will be signing copies of House of Miracles. Jill Kelly provided a brilliant foreword to the book - and I am proudly donating proceeds from the sale of the book to the Hunter's Hope Foundation. My publisher - Sterlinghouse Publisher of Pittsburgh, PA is also donating their procee...

"May the Good Lord be with you down every road you roam, and may sunshine and happiness follow you when you're far from home." Those words kind of brought me back today. I was going to write a blog about how it drives me nuts that people go out of their way to try and help you when you don't want any help - but I'll save that one for later. (To my best friend, Pat, I'll get to it). The above quote from the Rod Stewart song, Forever Young, changed my mood. I was driving five hours and I called home to the report that my boy threw somewhat of a fit as he battled to win a video game. My wife, had to punish him, of course, and I found myself feeling low because I wasn't there to help. About three minutes later Rod Stewart's song came on. The first verse hit me like a ton of bricks. No matter how much we want to shelter our kids, it is a losing battle. They are going to head down the road of life, with our gentle nudge on their back, but they are going to h...

I'm not real enthusiased about the State of the Union Address, and it's not because of who is speaking. Rather, I've always found the speech to be particularly annoying because it doesn't truly matter what is being said...everyone claps every three minutes anyway. The makeup of the speech is aggravating because of all of the self-congratulatory celebrating. What may I ask are we celebrating right now? I can imagine having the state of the union at my house, (if I was the leader of my house). I would say, "Honey, these are difficult times for a lot of us. We are spending more money for gas, more money for food, more money for electricity and oil, and cable bills, and entertainment, but we are strong. We will survive." At this point, I would wait for the clapping to subside. "Yes, I know, that we are fighting with the bad, evil men across the world, and that it looks like we're losing, but we're not, and that all of our neighbors think we're ass...

My sons have no use for the newspaper. When I was young, it was my sole source of information, and I can't tell you how many times I got yelled at for taking it away from my parents who hadn't had the chance to read it before me. The kids get their information from the internet, and while I must admit that it's great to have all the world's information at the tip of my fingers - I still read at least two newspapers a day. One of my strange habits is to scan the obits - reading the quick capsules about lives that are now over. I don't do it out of morbid curiosity, it is more out of sheer amazement - how can people live 70, 80, or 90 years and have their entire existence summed up in a couple of paragraphs? What bothers me even more now, is the fact that I often see people leaving this world at an age younger than me. A shudder of absolute terror shakes me when I read about a 43 year old man dying instantly of a heart attack. Some more observations - How do they wri...

It is so easy to forget your blessings, right? Being busy, having endless amounts of work to do, and losing your thoughts in waves of sleep depravation can surely take its toll on your patience and the love that should be in your heart. I say all of this because one of my boys got a bloody nose last night. It was a real gusher that soaked its way through about a roll of toilet paper. All the while, he was screaming at the sight of his own blood, and I was beside him, talking calmly, telling him it was almost done, and that a bloody nose wasn't a big deal. In the meantime, I was scared shitless. There may not be any more miserable sight than that of your own child's blood. Every time he screamed, my heart skipped a beat. With every soaked section of toilet paper, I thought of what Iwould do if there was something seriously wrong. Thank God, it was just a nose-bleed. Yet, it made me stop what I was doing on the computer and head down to the television to watch the wrestling match...

I didn't see Brokeback Mountain. I wasn't protesting the film - I rarely get to see a movie until it's been out for a few years, but I certainly knew who Heath Ledger was - we treat our actors like royalty in this country. It seemed to be a great shame to me that his life ended at such a young age, especially with a young child in his life. Yet, I can't say I understand it. The story seems to be that he was tired and tried to self-medicate, and over did it. Mariah Cary - a few years ago - ended up in the loony bin for a little while because she was over-tired. Again, I had trouble understanding. I've dug ditches, wrote to a deadline, stayed up with sick kids, and yes, even partied too long from time-to-time - I feel extremely tired right now after a seventy hour work week, and picking wrestlers names out of a hat (see previous post). I know the cure - however - I'm going to close my eyes and go to sleep. If I don't feel better tomorrow - I'm going to ta...

When we were growing up, my brothers and I always used to laugh about the fact that my father would save all kinds of items and have us store them in the garage. We used to say - "Here's another thing for the someday pile." Now, I know why - when there seems to be too little time in the day, and too many tasks to accomplish, the someday pile grows. My sons are all excited about the Pay-Per-View Wrestling match scheduled for Sunday night. There is a royal rumble with 30 wrestlers involved and I had a great idea to choose up the wrestlers and see who the big winner is going to be - my boy, Sam, has asked me at least twenty times to write down the names and pick them from a hat. I haven't had time. I kept telling him that we would get it done on Saturday, in plenty of time for the match - and he said - "Yeah, someday." I now understand - kind of a Cat's in the Cradle type moment - someday to them feels as if it is a lifetime away. I suppose that when I was ...

--- When my wife and I purchased our home, she figured that one of the ways that we could save a few pennies would be to cancel the garbage service and load the car on a weekly basis and bring the garbage to her parents home. The very first week didn't go very well as we had a truckload of garbage that stunk up my vehicle for the entire next week. We quickly decided that this was not her best idea and we called for a weekly pick-up service. I remind her every couple of months of her brain cramp. ---- Back in college a buddy of mine decided that one way we could meet girls was to buy a dozen roses and then hand them out to the pretty girls that we saw walking through the mall. He handed a rose to a girl who simply walked away in complete and utter fear, and I handed a rose to a girl who, unbeknownst to me, was waiting for her linebacker boyfriend to come out of the restroom. About seven minutes later, security was escorting us from the mall. We crushed the other ten roses at our fee...

There's an old Paul Simon song where he sings, "To ask someone to love you, it takes a lot of nerve." I'm not sure why I think of this line so often, but I think it's because deep down, none of us feel worthy of the kind of earth-shattering love that we all seek. I thought of this yesterday when I ran into an old friend of mine who was continually critical of the fact that I was married with children. This guy wanted to escape the "trap" of being tied-down. He would often ridicule me, asking me if I was allowed to carry my testicles around with me, or if my wife kept them in a jar by the door. He was free to come and go as he pleased with beer, sports, golf and all sorts of beautiful things to occupy his time. Can't say that I didn't envy him from time to time. Yet, a funny thing happened to him on the way to his eternal solo act - he fell in love. His baby is due in July, and his wife is now picking out items to change his home. Of course, I did...

I am not alone in having to travel, from time to time, to do my job. All of my brothers are on the road on a fairly regular basis. Two of my best friends spend more time in the air then they do on the ground. I'm not sure how they feel about it, but I despise being away. I spend the evenings in the hotel watching TV, unable to write much, just wondering what is going on without me there. I'm told.... that there is a more relaxed atmosphere at home. The other morning I explained to the boys that I wouldn't be home and one of them actually cheered, then smiled, and said, "We're going to miss you." My other son finished the conversation by saying, "I'll get the balloons and confetti." There is little doubt as to who misses me the most - Shadow and Melky spend a good half-hour greeting me when I return. They shake their tails, jump on me, and try their best to kiss me. I asked my wife why she didn't offer the greeting I get from the dogs, and sh...

My three sons are so different.... one is structured and gets particulary annoyed when someone changes things up on him.... one is an absolute perfectionist who demands 100 on every test he takes. He recently missed three questions on a test, and he not only cried, he wondered if the teacher screwed it up.... The third son is unbelievably laid back. His idea of working hard is putting his shoes away at the end of the day. They are all bright, they all have a sense of humor. They are patient, happy, secure, and get along okay. As they are all-boy however, they will get down and get mean with each other from time-to-time. What really makes me proud, however, is that they all have learned to understand the difference between right and wrong, and they are quick to understand that if they screw up, there will be consequences. Hopefully that is a leson they won't soon forget. Of course, there is a line in a Springsteen song that brings parenthood to the forefront - in it he says "I ...

Wouldn't it be cool if relationships in real life worked as they do in the movies. I'm talking the When Harry Met Sally sort of way where they find friendship, fall a little in love, sleep together, feel ashamed, hate each other and then finally make a long drawn-out pronouncement of eternal bliss. And I absolutely loved that movie - when Billy Crystal says - "when you realize who is the person you want to spend the rest of your life, you want the rest of your life to start right now" - I get a little choked up. Yet, love isn't like that, is it? It's the excitement of youth, the responsibility and familiarity of middle-age, and the mutual dependance of the golden age. Look at a couple you know who've been together over forty years - they know each other so well - and despise each other so much - but the love is unbelievable! I know of an old joke where an elderly couple sits down for breakfast and the wife looks across the table and says, "Good morni...

My very first political memory was sitting with my father as Jimmy Carter battled Ronald Reagan for President in 1976. I was just 12 years old at the time, and like my parents, I was rooting hard for the peanut farmer from Georgia. I wasn't sure why - perhaps it was his Southern drawl. Maybe it was the fact that he was a peanut farmer, and I liked peanuts. More than likely, it was because he spoke well, seemed to be brillant, and declared at one point that he didn't intend to lose. Whatever, the race for electoral votes was exciting- and to this day, I love to watch the states come in and victory ultimately declared. That didn't happen in 2000, when I tried to get my children to watch along, and I won't even begin to tell you my disappointment in that regard. In any event, I saw a story about Jimmy Carter today. I've even read a few of his books. When I get into political arguments with my friends, his name comes up once in awhile, and I pretend that I'm not off...

So, Dr. Phil ran into a little trouble because he gave Britney advice and tried to promote it. Can't say that I'm surprised. I've never been a real Dr. Phil fan - first off, he looks like that dude who used to be on the Larry Sanders show - secondly, he gives weight loss advice and he's got the same build as me. Thirdly, his advice isn't that great. I saw him talking to some weight-challenged people and he acknowledged that the best advice he could give is that they eat right and exercise. Really? No, kidding. How about telling them to duct tape that gaping hole under their nose. That would work too. All of the advice-givers are a little too much for me. They preach respect and communication in a marriage. Awesome - I would have never come up with that on my own. They tell you that men and women have different needs. Tremendous! How many years of schooling for that gem? Here is the basic difference of men and women encapsulated, as I see it. I'll come home from ...

1). I hate when someone says, "I was talking on the phone" and holds a fake phone up to their ear - put your freaking hand down - I know what a phone looks like! 2). I hate cute phrases like Okie-Dokie - when someone wants to end a correspondence with me and they say Okie-Dokie, I vomit in my mouth a little. 3). I hate losing a sock when I do the laundry - I remember Seinfeld doing a bit about this, but I hate it because I want every chore finished to completion and when I can't find that damn sock it infuriates me. 4). I hate when someone says "irregardless" - it isn't a word - regardless as to what you might think. 5). I hate preachers that say that God spoke to them. If God were to speak with most of them idiots, I'm sure He'd tell them to shut the hell up. 6). I hate athletes who are interviewed after a big game who say - "I gave 110 percent out there." There's only 100 percent you moron, where did you get the other 10%? 7). I hate ...

Started the year re-energized by the Holidays. I began it sick, but my spirits were up and I was ready to roll. I headed back to work, convinced I could handle a tremendous workload and I was ready to promote the new books. Yet, a funny thing happened on the way to the promised land...I couldn't fall asleep. I went to bed, I read from a novel, I watched part of a Seinfeld rerun, turned on my stomach, and tried to drift off. I thought of my schedule for the next day. I thought about a book signing that I agreed to do. I thought about each of my children, my wife, the dogs snoring on the floor at the foot of the bed, the wind howling outside. I thought about the upcoming football playoffs and the Democratic primaries. I thought about the Writer's strike, Britney Spears, and the war in Iraq. I sat up and scolded myself. I ignored the clock beside me, and I stubbornly fell back into my go-to-sleep position. That's when it happened... I began to think about the most ridiculous o...

Isn't it amazing that there are sights, sounds, and smells that can remind you of your childhood, or a dozen years gone by? I was thinking this the other morning as I started the Sunday sauce. Making sauce on Sunday's always brings me back to my childhood, but this week, I could almost see myself standing next to my father as he cut up the garlic and onions to get underway. This week, my boy popped out of his bedroom to tell me a wrestling story, and suddenly, I was back in time, talking non-stop to my father about the Yankees, or the Sabres, or whatever. I could almost hear my father handing me the same one word answers that I was offering little Sam - too busy to really hear the story, but too aware to know that it was an important moment. It happens that way with songs and visions also. There are tunes that bring me back to when I was young, and dumb. Every once in awhile I'll hear an old Stones song that makes me think of being with my friends, talking endlessly about a...

I certainly would like to make an informed choice regarding the presidential race for 2008. I have looked at each of the candidates, but I'm having a difficult time telling the difference. Everyone is so polished and offers us what we want to hear. Not a single one stands out because, frankly, I don't trust any of them. When you talk about accountability, and the ability to tell the truth, there isn't a single politician that separates him/herself. I'm sorry, but I felt deceived by Clinton when he pointed in the camera and explained his relationship with his intern, and I knew that Bush and company were lying from day one. Yet, even after being caught in a lie, not one of them ever owns up. Would you try that in your own life? Would you allow your children to live under such veils? A few years ago, I was standing within three feet of one of my children as he played a handheld video game. The game wasn't going as he liked so he reared back and threw it - right throug...

I just noticed that the Buffalo City Council decided not to challenge the new casino in downtown Buffalo. Given the already established casino's in the surrounding areas, not to mention the racetracks and OTB's and football pools and NCAA pools that dominate our time, I must wonder, what good all of this betting is doing for our society. Now, don't get me wrong, I have had a great time (some evenings) visiting the casinos. My wife and I head up to the Falls from time-to-time and waste our hard-earned money pulling on a lever. We've also won a little on some nights, but overall, we've found it to be a losing night out that takes our entertainment dollar... and leaves us feeling empty. There is a limit of course, and we haven't sacrificed money that we need. Yet, I hate the feeling that comes along with losing money. I can't stand how I feel when I'm pulling the lever, knowing that I'm simply counting backwards to zero. I also read the newspaper storie...

Welcomed in the New Year with some friends and a vat of beer. Woke up sick and believed it to be alcohol related, but now a couple of days in, it appears to be a nasty cold complete with a headache and a sneezing fit that left me cleaning my steering wheel. Which of course, brings a couple of thoughts to mind - the good health that's usually there is something that I shouldn't take for granted. Secondly, deep down, men are wimps - now don't get me wrong, I would never think about taking a day off. With thanks to my mother and father, I believe it is my responsibility to go to work - each and every day, no matter how much I have to suffer. Yet, that doesn't stop me from complaining - and as every woman will tell you, every man loves to tell you how crappy they feel. I must have told my wife about my illness at least 7 times today. Whenever there's a lapse in conversation I mention that I feel like shit. "You look like it too," is her usual response. So, is ...