My Balancing Act

"I know there's a balance - I see it when I swing past," John Mellencamp.

Isn't life a riot? We are equal parts sinner and saint. We have good days and bad days. There are days when I can burn the whole world down, and days when I'm left charred and broiled at the bottom of a pit. Not to mention faith and doubt. Some days I feel like I'm a great writer destined for unbelievable success and fame, and most of the others, I understand that to write the alphabet is a chore. There are days when my faith in God carries me through, and days when I doubt both heaven and hell.

I think of this today because my son had his homework ruined by a quick, inadvertant trip to the garbage, that left him in shambles. He threw a bit of a Fazzzolari tantrum, and when he finally calmed down, he told me that he had to just forget it because "today was a bad day."

I tried to explain that Christmas was coming, that he was going to live wrestling on Monday night, and that Aliens versus Predator II would be out on December 26th. He nodded in agreement, but said, "I still have to get through the rest of the week, which is going to suck."

My kids have a way with words.

Yet, I know of what he speaks. We all spend our days in a flux between what sucks and what might eventually be good. We look forward to the next family outing, the next book being done, the next Springsteen concert, the next golf outing, the next whatever... the mood stays shot until that next cool moment comes along.

I've tried to develop a bit of a balance, but like my son, I am often hammered into thinking that the happy times will never be there. It's easy to say, relax, smell the roses, don't worry...be happy. It's quite another to make it work. We all need the carrot on the stick to bring us through the next act.

So, how do I find peace? Fortunately, God Blessed me with my family - and I've always been a member of a great family. When I'm down, I call a sister or a brother, or my Mom and Dad. When I'm really down, I call the boys and ask them to watch a show with me. The grace of a child usually snaps me back. I love the laughter for no apparent reason, and the simple gratitude for a minor task. I can get my youngest singing songs if I just make him a bowl of soup.

A lot of times, I'll just hug my wife, or bust her chops ... anything to get the ball rolling. Then there are my dogs, who's unconditional love for me blows my mind.

Life doesn't have to be a chore... I tell myself that now, as dawn takes hold and I prepare myself for a business trip out of town... where I'll be away from all of my normal comforts. I feel myself swinging, but I know I'll swing back.

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