If at First

I believe that it was Homer (Simpson) who first said, "Trying is the first step towards failure." it's funny.

When I heard the quote, I thought of a few things - first and foremost, of course, I thought of my boys. As life progresses, they are going to try different things, and some of their endeavors are going to result in complete and utter failure. Which for a parent, is hard to take.

I think back to the most humiliating moment of my childhood. I was a reluctant member of my high school soccer team (I hated the sport), and I eagerly attended the School Pep Rally, knowing that a certain young girl, who I had a massive crush on was going to be there. I was to be introduced with the rest of the team, the coach would toss me the soccer ball, and I would make a lap around the fire as the students, my mother, and the pretty girl clapped. I was so excited going to the event that I'm sure my mother thought I was a little crazy. Whatever, it was my time to shine.

Sure enough, they said my name over the loud speaker. My girl was just a few steps away, and my mother was also standing close. I saw the excitement in their eyes as I caught the pass from the coach, took three steps, and fell flat on my face. Another kid had kicked my left leg, which in turn hit my right leg, which propelled me face down into the dirt. Of course, I didn't hold the ball and it went straight to the center of the fire and popped. I'm not sure anyone heard the pop though, they were all laughing too loudly.

I wanted to crawl into the dirt. I wished that someone would just shoot me where I lay. After some time, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and turned to the girl. She smiled at me, but I knew she had found out that I was a complete dork. Better late then never, I guess. I couldn't fathom of looking in my mother's direction.

Life is like that sometimes. I try and prepare my kids for the simple fact that it isn't always going to break their way, but it's difficult. I don't ever want to see them disappointed.

The girl of course, is out of my life. Hopefully, she has trouble recalling past events.

Yet, recently, I asked my mother if she remembered when I tripped at the Pep Rally. I was hoping that she'd say that she'd forgotten it moments after it happened. She didn't; thirty plus years later she smiled, and then laughed. "You were a dorky kid," she said.

At least I tried.

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