BAM!
Chris Rock does a rather famous routine about a drunken man who is screaming about how "I take care of my kids!" Rock goes on to say that basically a man should take care of his children and not have to rant about it - by the way, for my money Rock's stand-up is the best right now.
Anyhow, I often think of those words and the man in the act who needs to be acknowledged for doing what he's supposed to do. I thought about it on my wedding day when I walked up to my father and my father-in-law sitting side-by-side having a beer or two. My Dad threw a punch at me and said just three words - "Be a Man." My father-in-law nodded and echoed my father's words. "Be a Man."
As you can tell by the title I've shortened it to BAM!. I use it when I need reminding of my responsibilities. Which, of course, leads me to my definition of being a man - face up to your responsibilities.
Growing up, I had a number of fine examples of what it is to be a man. I remember my father wrapping his shoes with plastic bags when we were young. When I asked him what the heck he was doing, he sort of grunted. I later found out that he put boots on the feet of six kids, and his boots were worn out. Hence the need for the plastic bags. BAM!
I knew a father who lost his wife at a young age - he went back to school - and took care of his children, acting as chef, driver, cleaner and provider. BAM!
I know a guy now who has left his wife and five kids for another woman. He told me that he was in love for the first time in years - I hit him with my wife's all-time least favorite quote - "Love is the delusion that one woman is different from another" - when he didn't bite - I just said - "Do right by all of them - BAM!"
I know a guy who's wife left him holding the bag - he now cooks, cleans, coaches his kid's ball teams, and never leaves the house without a child in tow - BAM!
There are a number of ways to face up to your responsibilities - and the ice is thin from time-to-time, but I can still see my father trying to use bag ties to get the plastic to stay on his boots. I still see the look in his eyes when he told me to be a man. I see the disappointment in my own children's eyes when I slip a bit - BAM!
That's what I'm supposed to do. No acknowledgement necessary.
Anyhow, I often think of those words and the man in the act who needs to be acknowledged for doing what he's supposed to do. I thought about it on my wedding day when I walked up to my father and my father-in-law sitting side-by-side having a beer or two. My Dad threw a punch at me and said just three words - "Be a Man." My father-in-law nodded and echoed my father's words. "Be a Man."
As you can tell by the title I've shortened it to BAM!. I use it when I need reminding of my responsibilities. Which, of course, leads me to my definition of being a man - face up to your responsibilities.
Growing up, I had a number of fine examples of what it is to be a man. I remember my father wrapping his shoes with plastic bags when we were young. When I asked him what the heck he was doing, he sort of grunted. I later found out that he put boots on the feet of six kids, and his boots were worn out. Hence the need for the plastic bags. BAM!
I knew a father who lost his wife at a young age - he went back to school - and took care of his children, acting as chef, driver, cleaner and provider. BAM!
I know a guy now who has left his wife and five kids for another woman. He told me that he was in love for the first time in years - I hit him with my wife's all-time least favorite quote - "Love is the delusion that one woman is different from another" - when he didn't bite - I just said - "Do right by all of them - BAM!"
I know a guy who's wife left him holding the bag - he now cooks, cleans, coaches his kid's ball teams, and never leaves the house without a child in tow - BAM!
There are a number of ways to face up to your responsibilities - and the ice is thin from time-to-time, but I can still see my father trying to use bag ties to get the plastic to stay on his boots. I still see the look in his eyes when he told me to be a man. I see the disappointment in my own children's eyes when I slip a bit - BAM!
That's what I'm supposed to do. No acknowledgement necessary.
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