Heartbreak Hotel
Everyone gets a room at this hotel from time to time. Some people move in and never move out. Others just stop by for a short visit, but come by time and time again. There are still others who stop by, stay a couple of hours, and move on their merry way.
My brother and I share a laugh from the Seinfeld show whenever there is too much whining going on one way or another - it goes like this - one of us will whine, and the other will say, "Aw, that's a shame." When he does it to me after a missed putt or a shot that banks off the rim and falls harmlessly away in a game of pig - we'll laugh. Yet, what is really a shame is when the heartbreak is life altering.
A good buddy of mine lost thirty pounds in a month, and after stubbornly refusing to visit a doctor, found out that he has colon cancer. I can't tell him "Aw, what a shame."
I know a couple of father's who lost their children to accident and disease. Their grief will never subside. That's a real shame that can never be fully answered.
What is another true shame is what we do to each other. They always say that it's easiest to hurt the one's you love and that's because to love, you must invest. The degree of hurt can best be measured by how much has been invested. Yet we can't stop investing, can we?
I find that I have little use for people who inflict hurt without claiming responsibility. I refuse to invest any more time in people who can't stand up and be held accountable. Is that to say that I never make mistakes? Hell no - but I should certainly own my mistakes and not walk the empty rooms at the hotel, looking for something to blame.
As I've grown older I've found that heartbreak hotel is hardly ever flashing a vacancy light, but there seems to be no shortage of available space. One of my favorite prayers to offer someone is the prayer of acceptance - life isn't fair; your best friend might turn into your greatest enemy; having a sick child; or an incapacitated parent; watching your dog get run down in the street - none of it is right, but there is a level of acceptance that must be reached. I offer a prayer in that regard.
Okay, this has brought me to my favorite thought ever written down in a book - In the Grapes of Wrath, Tom Joad has been forced away from his family - when his mother asks how she'll know where he is - he answers (and I am certainly paraphrasing it as I recall it) - "Mom, I'll be there wherever men fight for what is right. Whenever there's a cop beating a guy, whenever a newborn baby cries. I'll be there in the darkness that surrounds you as you sleep at night. I'll be there in the sounds of the children's laughter when they know they are secure. I'll be there."
Later on, Tom's father - realizing that Tom's loss changes their lives - asks the question of Tom's mother - "What do we do now?"
She answers - "We go on. Because that's all there is - we survive and we believe because when every thing else fails, we need to hang on, because our faith, and our love is all that we really have."
A dear friend of mine explained that the eyes are the window into our soul, and wondered if our soul is controlled by our brains because there is a physical connection between our brain and our eyes. I say that it is something more, and my dear friend alluded to it - we are born with a soul that is controlled by all we do and influenced by those around us. We develop our soul through time, as carefully as we sculpt our bodies - (or in my case fail to do - I spend more time on my soul, obviously).
Regardless, the next time you feel yourself checking into heartbreak hotel - think of the Joad's - or the people who bounce straight back out that front door, and head off running down the street, to a more convenient place to stay. Build yourself a simple faith that will forever carry you through the miserable times that wait for you around every corner. The worst thing you can ever do is find yourself in a long-term lease deal at this particular hotel.
My brother and I share a laugh from the Seinfeld show whenever there is too much whining going on one way or another - it goes like this - one of us will whine, and the other will say, "Aw, that's a shame." When he does it to me after a missed putt or a shot that banks off the rim and falls harmlessly away in a game of pig - we'll laugh. Yet, what is really a shame is when the heartbreak is life altering.
A good buddy of mine lost thirty pounds in a month, and after stubbornly refusing to visit a doctor, found out that he has colon cancer. I can't tell him "Aw, what a shame."
I know a couple of father's who lost their children to accident and disease. Their grief will never subside. That's a real shame that can never be fully answered.
What is another true shame is what we do to each other. They always say that it's easiest to hurt the one's you love and that's because to love, you must invest. The degree of hurt can best be measured by how much has been invested. Yet we can't stop investing, can we?
I find that I have little use for people who inflict hurt without claiming responsibility. I refuse to invest any more time in people who can't stand up and be held accountable. Is that to say that I never make mistakes? Hell no - but I should certainly own my mistakes and not walk the empty rooms at the hotel, looking for something to blame.
As I've grown older I've found that heartbreak hotel is hardly ever flashing a vacancy light, but there seems to be no shortage of available space. One of my favorite prayers to offer someone is the prayer of acceptance - life isn't fair; your best friend might turn into your greatest enemy; having a sick child; or an incapacitated parent; watching your dog get run down in the street - none of it is right, but there is a level of acceptance that must be reached. I offer a prayer in that regard.
Okay, this has brought me to my favorite thought ever written down in a book - In the Grapes of Wrath, Tom Joad has been forced away from his family - when his mother asks how she'll know where he is - he answers (and I am certainly paraphrasing it as I recall it) - "Mom, I'll be there wherever men fight for what is right. Whenever there's a cop beating a guy, whenever a newborn baby cries. I'll be there in the darkness that surrounds you as you sleep at night. I'll be there in the sounds of the children's laughter when they know they are secure. I'll be there."
Later on, Tom's father - realizing that Tom's loss changes their lives - asks the question of Tom's mother - "What do we do now?"
She answers - "We go on. Because that's all there is - we survive and we believe because when every thing else fails, we need to hang on, because our faith, and our love is all that we really have."
A dear friend of mine explained that the eyes are the window into our soul, and wondered if our soul is controlled by our brains because there is a physical connection between our brain and our eyes. I say that it is something more, and my dear friend alluded to it - we are born with a soul that is controlled by all we do and influenced by those around us. We develop our soul through time, as carefully as we sculpt our bodies - (or in my case fail to do - I spend more time on my soul, obviously).
Regardless, the next time you feel yourself checking into heartbreak hotel - think of the Joad's - or the people who bounce straight back out that front door, and head off running down the street, to a more convenient place to stay. Build yourself a simple faith that will forever carry you through the miserable times that wait for you around every corner. The worst thing you can ever do is find yourself in a long-term lease deal at this particular hotel.
Comments
Great post today!