Facebook Birthdays

O.K.

Let's start with the premise that I'm a tad mentally ill.

You're all still with me, right?

I need to write a blog a day.

Nothing right about that.

I stay at the same hotel room, preferably the same room every time I go out of town.

I unpack the same way.

I follow all the same rituals.

I do these sorts of things at home as well. If there is work to do, I must do it before sleep. I don't have a single email in my in-box on any accounts.

Ever.

So Facebook birthdays really mess me up!

You see, it is easy for people to wish you a 'Happy Birthday'.

Yesterday I heard from everyone I ever met, seemingly. I appreciated every single wish and since they took the time to say 'Hi' I took the time to answer.

And normal people handle it the normal way.

At the end of the day they write one post saying:

"Thank you for the birthday wishes. I had a nice day."

Not me.

I try to answer each wish almost immediately with something witty.

O.C.D. will do that for you.

So I was a mess yesterday.

Then, to top it off, one of my first college roommates decided to prey on my mental illness.

Every 20 minutes or so he wished me 'Happy Birthday'.

He knew that I'd respond with 'Thank You' each time.

(Thanks, Gag).

And by the end of the day my head was super-imposed on:

1). Braveheart
2). A Red Sux fan.
3). A Red Sux player.
4). Bubbles the Michael Pedophile Jackson Monkey.
5). Standing next to the god of music...Bruce.
6). On a 27-time World Champion Greatest Team in the History of Organized sports, a New York Yankee player's body.
7). In a bathtub surrounded by donuts.

There has to be more.

Now understand.

I'm a quiet, introspective man who tends to my own business, rarely offers an opinion, never judges others, and is extremely open-minded.

And this is how I'm treated?

On my birthday?

Thank you everyone.

It was a blast.