23 or 50?
A couple of weeks ago Derek Jeter attended a Michigan College Football game. The camera caught him in his seat next to a beautiful young girl who was his date for the evening.
"Nice," I said.
There wasn't much of a comment from the area where my beautiful wife was seated.
A couple of days passed.
I honestly didn't give it another thought.
Yet my wife did some research.
"You remember the girl with Jeter at that football game?" She asked.
"Oh yeah," I said.
"Turns out she's a swimsuit model. You know how old she is?"
She didn't wait for an answer.
"She's 23! What does he talk to a 23-year old about? He's like 40, right?"
I actually laughed.
"Let me put it this way," I said. "There's a breakdown somewhere and suddenly I can have any woman in the world, any time I want her. Do you think I'll pick a 48 year old?"
I knew I was treading on wobbly ground.
"First off, that ain't happening, but secondly, she can't be much of a companion for him."
"I'm sure she's just fine for what he needs," I said. "Real fine."
Yet, believe it or not, my wife has a point.
I don't think that I'd be much of a companion for a 23-year old at this stage of the game. I sure the hell wouldn't want to be going out at 10 p.m.
I certainly wouldn't be much interested in catching Miley Cirus or Lil' Wayne in concert and the first time I mentioned Springsteen as the god of music she'd probably beat feet for the front door.
So, most likely, the ship has passed.
If I had the pick of all women by some stroke of luck, I'd probably still have to choose my wife.
She has it all over all the rest of them, of course.
Because she has one thing going for her over all other women. They are the same guidelines I accepted 20 years ago:
I don't outwardly repulse her.
Right? Wifey?
Right???
"Nice," I said.
There wasn't much of a comment from the area where my beautiful wife was seated.
A couple of days passed.
I honestly didn't give it another thought.
Yet my wife did some research.
"You remember the girl with Jeter at that football game?" She asked.
"Oh yeah," I said.
"Turns out she's a swimsuit model. You know how old she is?"
She didn't wait for an answer.
"She's 23! What does he talk to a 23-year old about? He's like 40, right?"
I actually laughed.
"Let me put it this way," I said. "There's a breakdown somewhere and suddenly I can have any woman in the world, any time I want her. Do you think I'll pick a 48 year old?"
I knew I was treading on wobbly ground.
"First off, that ain't happening, but secondly, she can't be much of a companion for him."
"I'm sure she's just fine for what he needs," I said. "Real fine."
Yet, believe it or not, my wife has a point.
I don't think that I'd be much of a companion for a 23-year old at this stage of the game. I sure the hell wouldn't want to be going out at 10 p.m.
I certainly wouldn't be much interested in catching Miley Cirus or Lil' Wayne in concert and the first time I mentioned Springsteen as the god of music she'd probably beat feet for the front door.
So, most likely, the ship has passed.
If I had the pick of all women by some stroke of luck, I'd probably still have to choose my wife.
She has it all over all the rest of them, of course.
Because she has one thing going for her over all other women. They are the same guidelines I accepted 20 years ago:
I don't outwardly repulse her.
Right? Wifey?
Right???
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