Happy Birthday, Brother
So today we celebrate the birthday of one of the funniest, hard-working guys in the world.
My brother, Jim.
I often tell a story about heading to a party in a college town with Jim. It was at least 25 years ago. About a mile from home we were stopped by the cops for speeding.
I wasn't driving.
Yet we were late for the party and Jim grew impatient with the young cop who was issuing him the citation. Much to my dismay Jim lowered his driver's side window and very politely sceamed out:
"Let's go! Are you writing your first ticket ever? We're late!!"
The cop wasn't real pleased, but...
Soon enough, we were on our way.
The party was held at a bar that was a short walk from the private home where we were hanging out.
"Just be careful to finish your beer before you hit the street," our host said. "The cops like to hand out tickets for open containers."
Two steps out the door a huge spotlight shown on the four of us. One guy was holding a beer.
As we was being lowered into the car for the quick ride to the station the cop said, "It's gonna' cost you $50."
"My brother has it," Jim said.
I was nervous at the station. Jim was telling jokes. I paid quickly and got him out of there.
Soon enough, we were on our way.
As we drove back to the party we got confused in the unfamiliar area. We were pulled over for driving the wrong way down a one-way street.
I wasn't driving.
The cop was sympathetic, but he wrote the ticket quickly.
Soon enough, we were on our way.
With our 3rd citation in hand we finally set off to the party. We stayed a little while but left early enough, and sober.
"I want something to eat," Jim said.
He pulled up to the McDonald's Drive-thru and promptly ordered 15 cheeseburgers.
"Why did you order 15?" I asked.
"I told you I was hungry."
Jim was still behind the wheel. He was into his fifth cheeseburger when we came to a 4-way stop at a red light. As he started into his right-hand turn I saw the sign that prohibited turning right on red.
Three minutes later there was a cop at the window. Jim had a half-eaten cheeseburger in one hand and the three tickets in his other.
"Don't bust my balls," he said to the cops, "I already got 3 tickets tonight."
The cop laughed.
He let us off and soon enough, we were finally home.
The next day Jim passed me in the hallway of my parents home.
"What're you doing tonight?" he asked.
"Dude, I've been waiting for the police to knock on the door all day. I wouldn't go get the mail with you!"
That's my brother Jim.
He has a heart as big as the Grinch at the end of the movie.
He's funny, brilliant and we love him.
Happy Birthday.
Be safe.
My brother, Jim.
I often tell a story about heading to a party in a college town with Jim. It was at least 25 years ago. About a mile from home we were stopped by the cops for speeding.
I wasn't driving.
Yet we were late for the party and Jim grew impatient with the young cop who was issuing him the citation. Much to my dismay Jim lowered his driver's side window and very politely sceamed out:
"Let's go! Are you writing your first ticket ever? We're late!!"
The cop wasn't real pleased, but...
Soon enough, we were on our way.
The party was held at a bar that was a short walk from the private home where we were hanging out.
"Just be careful to finish your beer before you hit the street," our host said. "The cops like to hand out tickets for open containers."
Two steps out the door a huge spotlight shown on the four of us. One guy was holding a beer.
As we was being lowered into the car for the quick ride to the station the cop said, "It's gonna' cost you $50."
"My brother has it," Jim said.
I was nervous at the station. Jim was telling jokes. I paid quickly and got him out of there.
Soon enough, we were on our way.
As we drove back to the party we got confused in the unfamiliar area. We were pulled over for driving the wrong way down a one-way street.
I wasn't driving.
The cop was sympathetic, but he wrote the ticket quickly.
Soon enough, we were on our way.
With our 3rd citation in hand we finally set off to the party. We stayed a little while but left early enough, and sober.
"I want something to eat," Jim said.
He pulled up to the McDonald's Drive-thru and promptly ordered 15 cheeseburgers.
"Why did you order 15?" I asked.
"I told you I was hungry."
Jim was still behind the wheel. He was into his fifth cheeseburger when we came to a 4-way stop at a red light. As he started into his right-hand turn I saw the sign that prohibited turning right on red.
Three minutes later there was a cop at the window. Jim had a half-eaten cheeseburger in one hand and the three tickets in his other.
"Don't bust my balls," he said to the cops, "I already got 3 tickets tonight."
The cop laughed.
He let us off and soon enough, we were finally home.
The next day Jim passed me in the hallway of my parents home.
"What're you doing tonight?" he asked.
"Dude, I've been waiting for the police to knock on the door all day. I wouldn't go get the mail with you!"
That's my brother Jim.
He has a heart as big as the Grinch at the end of the movie.
He's funny, brilliant and we love him.
Happy Birthday.
Be safe.
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