Equal Time

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Okay, there certainly was a time when we thought 'we were the wildest things we'd ever seen' and that we'd make it in Hollywood someday. Actually, that went on for just a couple of years...watching Letterman when he first came out, tossing rocks at prisoners jail cells in the Erie jail, sharing a single McDonald's hamburger because we were broke (I got the pickles). One of the guys who I actually thought I'd be writing comedy with - Terry - submitted the column today - poking fun at my alleged new television gig. He wasn't the only one to respond, either...I have a lovely photo of myself as Costanza as well. (Thanks Jeffy).


TOP TEN THINGS ABOUT CLIFF'S NEW GIG:

1) Was the show CSI or something that needed a cadaver?

2) They're remaking Brian's Song and need someone that looked like they're in end-stage...whatever...

3) I don't know if I'd watch a sit-com where the dad is the Elephant Man.

4) Wow. You as the dad; Kate Upton as the mom. THAT'S never been tried before in a sitcom!!!!

5) Italian-American writer/dad/husband. Somewhere Ray Romano's lawyers are sharpening their knives.

6) And THIS was the message he remembered. Sam picked up last week when Bruce called while he was playing X-Box but forgot to write THAT one down.

7) Holy Crap. Now all we need is a fictional family that ignores Cliff and disrespects him at every turn. WHEREVER COULD WE FIND SUCH A GROUP OF PEOPLE?

8) Dad in a sitcom? Hell, Cliff hopes to someday become a dad in real life.

9) Yeah. L.A. commutes. Hollywood agents. Poor ratings. Just when you thought Cliff was running out of things to whine about.

10) All these years of being a wise-ass has finally paid off. Now if only that drinking problem could translate into success, he'd have something...


Classic. Somehow, it appears to me, that I have formed a true character. If Sam truly missed the message from Bruce...oh, I don't even want to think about it...and it's a FORMER drinking problem. My beautiful wife says that I am indeed the real Dad...and she's coming for you with that one!

Everything else is fairly accurate.

Elephant Man?

Good comedy writing, buddy.

Comments

Terry40 said…
Posted at 4am? That's impressive. Sleep deprivation explains a lot, buddy.
I'm sure if we passed the hat we could get this list to 50 in no time. Think of it as friends getting you through the first 3 season's scripts. Get to 100 episodes, syndication-BANG! Luxury box seats at Bills games. Before you know it you'll be walking out of Bills losses during the 3rd quarter in style!
23 February, 2013
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