Tickle Me Elmo

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Wow.

Sometimes the blog just writes itself doesn't it?

Did you notice that the guy who does the voice of Elmo was targeted for carrying on with a young man who may or may not have been under the age of consent for molestation?

The man recanted the story, but I had to get a blog out of it, right?

I was never a big Sesame Street fan, but of course, as an adult I had to endure all sorts of shows as the children were exposed to all of it by my beautiful wife.

I remember begging her not to bring a Barney tape into the house when they were infants because I just knew the hypnotic trance that the singing put the kids into.

That stupid Barney song played so often in our house for about a year there that I told my wife that the lyrics would be prominently featured in my suicide note.

She laughed.

And if the allegations are true how can the kid who fell into Elmo's trance not brag to his friends?

"Elmo and I are REAL close."

But, of course, it isn't a laughing matter, but it begs a question.

Does Elmo like to be tickled?

I read the story with a perpetual grimace on my face. I heard the voice of Elmo ringing in my ears as the man tried to defend himself in the newspaper story.

How many times a day do you think his friends and family ask him to do the Elmo voice?

Would he use that Elmo voice when he is trying to impress his beau?

Does the guy who does Elmo's voice break up with his lover in his real voice or in that gravelly growl?

I just have so many unanswered questions.

And what now?

The story has broken and there are parents out there now who have to decide on whether or not they want their child watching Elmo's next big special.

Does the fact that Elmo is out of the closet matter?

Does it matter that Elmo was accused of such a thing?

Does it change the 'tickle me' element of the whole deal?

And what's next?

First Pee Wee Herman and now this!

Damn, even the kids' heroes are messed up.

Please tell me that Barney is scandal free.

I would just feel so dirty and having sung that song over and over again.

I love you. You love me. We're a happy family.

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