Thou Shalt
Since it's Sunday here are a few more commandments.
Thou Shalt keep your religious views to thyself.
Thou Shalt have to move to Canada if before the election you state that you will move to Canada if the election goes the way you're rooting against. If that was a real rule we'd be free of Alec Baldwin, Donald Trump, and a whole bunch of other morons.
Thou Shalt not sit first in the line at the red light reading your Twitter feed. Its happened to me about 10 times in the last few days. I've had to beep at the guy in front as the light threatens yellow. When he or she is startled back to reality by the sound of my horn - which is usually a casual tap - they gave me the finger. Thou Shalt not do that either.
Thou Shalt return to Facebook the day after the election to take the beating when your guy loses. There were a lot of arguments back and forth in the moments leading up to the election and some of those people still haven't come back. They should have to, but it leads to my next one.
Thou Shalt not argue on social media feeds. It got real ugly out there, didn't it? I work hard on my kids to stay fairly above the fray, but it's so difficult to do when you see a post that attacks your core beliefs. Don't bother. You can't win.
Thou Shalt not show up half in the bag when you're on national television. Remember when Namath tried to kiss the reporter? Well, Diane Sawyer acted real weird the other night too. Drunk doesn't play well when you're supposed to be dead serious. Believe me, I've been there.
Thou Shalt not put a laugh track behind comedy shows. I'd heard that those laughs are from people back in the 40's and 50's, and lately I've been hearing them really loudly on the new shows. That awful new Tim Allen show was on the other night and they were playing the laugh track before he even got the unfunny line out of his mouth. It got so bad that I had to switch the channel because once I focused on it, it was over. I hope I ruin a show for you as you think about it.
Thou Shalt never interview Magic Johnson for anything. Ever. Not only does Magic mangle the English language he also does it with a know-it-all-annoying whine in his voice as he yells his answers. But hey, at least he whipped HIV's ass. He's been living with that for more than 20 years.
So there you go. A bunch of new commandments.
Happy Sunday.
I have a feeling the Bills are gonna' lose today.
Thou Shalt keep your religious views to thyself.
Thou Shalt have to move to Canada if before the election you state that you will move to Canada if the election goes the way you're rooting against. If that was a real rule we'd be free of Alec Baldwin, Donald Trump, and a whole bunch of other morons.
Thou Shalt not sit first in the line at the red light reading your Twitter feed. Its happened to me about 10 times in the last few days. I've had to beep at the guy in front as the light threatens yellow. When he or she is startled back to reality by the sound of my horn - which is usually a casual tap - they gave me the finger. Thou Shalt not do that either.
Thou Shalt return to Facebook the day after the election to take the beating when your guy loses. There were a lot of arguments back and forth in the moments leading up to the election and some of those people still haven't come back. They should have to, but it leads to my next one.
Thou Shalt not argue on social media feeds. It got real ugly out there, didn't it? I work hard on my kids to stay fairly above the fray, but it's so difficult to do when you see a post that attacks your core beliefs. Don't bother. You can't win.
Thou Shalt not show up half in the bag when you're on national television. Remember when Namath tried to kiss the reporter? Well, Diane Sawyer acted real weird the other night too. Drunk doesn't play well when you're supposed to be dead serious. Believe me, I've been there.
Thou Shalt not put a laugh track behind comedy shows. I'd heard that those laughs are from people back in the 40's and 50's, and lately I've been hearing them really loudly on the new shows. That awful new Tim Allen show was on the other night and they were playing the laugh track before he even got the unfunny line out of his mouth. It got so bad that I had to switch the channel because once I focused on it, it was over. I hope I ruin a show for you as you think about it.
Thou Shalt never interview Magic Johnson for anything. Ever. Not only does Magic mangle the English language he also does it with a know-it-all-annoying whine in his voice as he yells his answers. But hey, at least he whipped HIV's ass. He's been living with that for more than 20 years.
So there you go. A bunch of new commandments.
Happy Sunday.
I have a feeling the Bills are gonna' lose today.
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