Go Away Arnold

Arnold Schwarzenegger is on a tour to re-do his image.

Let me catch you up.

Arnold was a weight-lifter. He made videos of his lifting exploits. In those videos he spoke of getting high, doing steroids, and doing all sorts of things to women that left anyone watching feel a little sickened.

Then he became a movie star. High action stuff. He had about three lines of dialogue in every movie. He made a ton of money. We all sort of fell for him, right?

"It's not a tumor!"

Somehow he became engaged in politics, and there were people out there saying:

"I wish Arnold could be president."

Of course, he wasn't born here, and we don't allow non-citizens to sit in the big chair, despite those people out there who claim that it has happened.

So he ran for the governor of California.

Sounds about right.

I hear conflicting stories about how effective he actually was out there. I listened to him speak on Howard every now and again, but considered him a little dim.

Then he proved to me that he was a LOT DIM.

Last year his love-child with his maid was discovered. Maria Schriver, who is part of the royal American family, filed for divorce.

Arnold was on the run.

"I'll be back."

And he's back now, trying to put a spin on all of it for us.

"Having a child with the maid was the stupidest thing I ever did," he said.

Wow! What an informative interview.

Truthfully though, I think it's really funny, don't you?

An Austrian athlete rises from poverty, becomes an International superstar as a weightlifter and then a movie idol, becomes governor of a large state in a rich country, is well respected by millions, marries a Kennedy, buys a mansion, hires an immigrant to keep his clothes clean, sleeps with the immigrant, has a child, hides the child from his wife, finishes up his governorship, is found out, is hit with the divorce papers, and begs the forgiveness of a fickle public.

And here we are.

How can we not just forgive and forget?

Good luck, Arnold...we're all rooting for you.