Happy Birthday, Jim

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My brother's birthday is today and he just ate a steak as big as the back tire on my car. He also had a lobster tail, rolls, corn, and a pasta dish.

That was at one sitting. As we finished up the chat, his wife served him a piece of chocolate cake.

God Bless him.

To sum up Jim, you only need to know a quick story about a trip he made to the hospital one morning to relieve me from the night I spent there. He showed up at 5:30AM and handed me a breakfast sandwich as soon as he walked into the room. I wiped the sleep from my eyes, took the sandwich, and I caught a whiff of him.

"What the hell is that smell?" I asked.
"You smell that?" he asked. "It smells like shit."
"It's on you," I replied.

Jim turned his sneaker over to find a big clump of some sort of feces on his shoe. He immediately started to gag and impulsively wiped his foot on the carpet in the waiting room.

"Brilliant," I said. "Now you have to sit in here all day smelling it."
"Aw, dude, go get the cleaning lady."

On my way out of the unit, I stopped by the front desk and asked for the cleaning lady. When I was nearly home, my cell phone rang and Jim was laughing hysterically.

"What's up?" I asked.

"The poor cleaning lady came in and retched and gagged her way through cleaning it up," Jim said. "She even said that she thought it was human crap."

"What did you tell her?" I asked.

"The only thing I could," Jim said, laughing. "I told her it was the filthy pig that slept here during the night."

Perfect. That's my brother. Happy Birthday, Pal.

Comments

Larry L said…
Hi Cliff,
Happy Birthday Jim

Cliff i would like to get in touch with you.

Larry Levesque
26 March, 2009
Maryann Ingram said…
First .... a happy birthday to Jim
I laughed so hard reading this! I am reminded of the time we all went to the Erie County fair......
Jim was about 4 or 5, sitting on my lap enjoying the ride on the train until we came upon the prize cows and Jim loudly exclaimed
" I smell bullshit ! "

Maryann
27 March, 2009
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