Found Some Joy

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Rocco and Farrah were with us all morning and into the afternoon. When Rocco smiled his devilish smile at me I saw my brother's eyes. For a long moment, a sharp pain hit me behind the eyes and threatened our little visit. It didn't last long.

We played kickball, ran a few foot races, and hung out with the dogs. After a couple of Kool-aid drinks, Rocco settled in, just wanting to hold me close. Before long, he was asleep, curled up on my chest, and snoring lightly.

When my kids were young things were real hectic. I enjoyed holding them and being with them, but the pace seemed way too frantic to just lay back on the couch and feel them breath. Of course I did that, but it felt a lot different today.

When Rocco woke up he decided to tickle my "big belly." He did that for a few minutes before doing a number of raspberry's and then marveling at the dark abyss that is my belly button. "What does that button do?" he asked.

Yeah, it's sad, it'll always be sad, but today I saw a way through the fog, and it was in the deep, dark eyes of my niece and nephews.

Jeff's children will most certainly still have a wonderful life. It will be a life filled with questions and perhaps uncertainty, but being a part of the Fazzolari family they are guaranteed love, and yes -soon -a lot of joy.

Comments

kmccabe said…
Hi Cliff,
I am so sorry for your loss. I just learned of Jeff's passing last weekend. This site is a great way to work through your emotions. The ironic thing is that I just started reading your book about Jake just two weeks ago. And then this happens. I am glad that you and your family have a strong faith and are close. That will help you all. In the meantime, remember that you have friends and other family members who are there for you and want to help if they can! And we are all praying for you!
Kris (Klar) McCabe
21 March, 2009
deafjeff said…
I told you, his kids are it man, may they share his light with the rest of us.
21 March, 2009
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