"You're A Mess Of A Human Being"

My kids are starting to catch on.

There are plenty of chores around the house, as you all know.

I'm certain that my children would help out a bit more if I just let them. I have a tendency to do things just as the timer clicks. The dryer stops and I'm folding the laundry before it even finishes it's last spin.

The dog takes a drink of water and I'm re-filling the bowl quickly, saying, as I'm doing so:

"I'll get it. You guys just relax."

So, now that the boys have gotten a little older, they try and help a bit. They actually try and beat me to the punch just so they can say:

"Rest. I'll empty the dishwasher while you take is easy."

(As an aside - my beautiful wife doesn't get involved in this little game. She just sort of laughs at how stupid we are).

Yet on Saturday morning I gazed out at the grass in the back yard.

"Don't even think it," Jake said. "I told you I'd mow the lawn and I will."

Still. He knew.

"Ah, damn, I'll go do it now before you head out there."

(He was actually racing me to the mower).

And I let him do it.

I don't need to limp around. I'm not that much of a martyr.

But as we walked towards the house after going out to dinner I caught a glimpse of the weeds growing near our bushes.

"Where are you going?" Jake asked, following my gaze.

"Pick those weeds," I said.

"You're a mess of a human being," he said. "Just an absolute mess."

I was looking for a bit of clarification.

"Why do you always have to do one more thing than the next guy?" he asked.

I had simply thought that the weeds didn't belong there.

"I like things in order," I said.

Jake shook his head as Sam laughed.

"An absolute mess," he said. "A psychological disaster."

Perhaps.

(I think the water dish is empty).