Bite Me

I've never taken a bite of someone.

In fact, it has never even crossed my mind to do such a thing.

It's weird but a lot of people were talking about a soccer player from a faraway land who has been in trouble before for biting an opponent.

This is actually the 3rd time he has done such a thing!

What would make you bite someone?

Mike Tyson chewed on Holyfield's ear and he said that he did it because he was losing and knew he needed to gain an advantage.

Biting off someone's ear would give you said advantage, I suppose, but it's sort of against the rules.

Or is it?

Is there a direct rule that says:

"Thou shalt not bite your opponent."

I doubt that there is.

Yet if your dog laid down a bite on three separate people you'd have to put him down...

...right?

Suarez received a suspension of some length...9 games and four months...

What will be the penalty when he does it again?

Because I don't think we have heard the last of this.

He appears to be rabid, doesn't he?

But it's pretty hard to fathom.

Isn't it?

How many of you reading this have taken a bite out of another human being? The number has to be pretty low, right? It's a pretty crazy thing to do.

I wonder what that dude is like in real life. Something tells me that he has real trouble lurking just below the surface. I also would have loved to be at the hearing where his suspension was handed down.

FIFA: Do you know why you're here?

Suarez: The biting thing?

FIFA: Uh, yeah.

Suarez: I was unaware that biting was frowned upon.

FIFA: Uh, yeah. We told you last time.

Suarez: I forgot. Sorry. It's one of those rules that has a grey area to it, is it not?

FIFA: Uh, not really.

(Rolls up a newspaper)

FIFA: You want this?

Suarez: Woof-woof

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