Patience Is A Virtue...

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...and homicide is a crime.

How do you feel when the person in front of you in line at a convenience store, a bank line, or a pharmacy is lost, dazed and confused about going about their business?

It's a tad irritating, isn't it?

I stood behind an elderly man on line at the pharmacy the other day.

Let me tell you, this dude had nothing going on the rest of the day.

I honestly considered smashing him over the head with something. This was his exchange:

Man: I need to pick up my scripts.

Clerk: Your name?

Man: What?

Clerk: The name on the prescription.

Man: Tom

Clerk: Full name?

Man: (Laughing) Oh yeah, sorry. Guess that would help!

Clerk: (Waiting)

Me: (Seething)

Man: Jones

Clerk: I'll be right back.

Man: I may have two here.

Clerk: Same name

Man: What?

Clerk: Are they both for Tom Jones?

Man: Both what? (Laughs again) Oh yeah!

Clerk: I'll be right back.

She walks away. The man turns to me and says hi. I nod. He picks up a eye glass repair kit.

Man: What do you suppose this is for?

Me: To repair broken glasses.

Man: I'll be damned.

The clerk returns and asks him if he has any questions about how to take his medicine.

Man: What?

Me: Holy shit! (under my breath).

Of course the instruction exchange went for a good three minutes.

Clerk: Sign on the electronic pad.

Man: The what?

Clerk shows the man where to sign.

Man just doesn't understand.

Clerk comes around the counter.

They laugh.

Man: I'll be damned.

He signs his name...slowly....he drops his wallet.

I bend and get it for him.

Man: Thank you.

Clerk: Will that be all?

Man: Can you tell me how this glasses repair kit works?

The clerk glances over the man's head to me. I may have been putting off a vibe of some sorts.

Man: I'm sorry! I'm taking up a lot of time. The thing is, this is my big event for the day! Once I get home I'm home alone until God knows when.

The man sort of nods at the clerk and to me.

You'd think my stance would soften a bit, but GOD HELP ME! I JUST WANT TO GET TO MY NEXT APPOINTMENT!!

The clerk takes a couple of minutes to explain the glasses repair kit to the man. She smiles at me as she does so and I smile back. The man asks about the price and is a little surprised when she says it's a little less than five bucks.

Man: (Looks at me) You think that's a good deal?

Me: If your glasses are broke it is.

Man: (Laughing).

He holds the package for a good 30 seconds contemplating whether or not to buy it.

I imagine buying the kit and taking out the tiny screwdriver and piercing his neck artery with it. He notices my Yankee shirt.

Man: I'm gonna' really miss Jeter.

Me: Me too.

Cut to the exterior of the store.

I stand talking to the man about Tanaka, Jeter, Cano and the teams from the 90's.

Man: It was nice meeting you.

Me: You too.

We shake hands and part.

Patience is a virtue, folks.

It truly is.

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