Fatherly Advice
So, Matt survived the weekend of bringing a girl around to meet his family.
It was touch and go there for awhile...we thought Sam would be a thorn in their side.
Turns out Matt should have been more worried about me.
"Hi, I'm Leah," she said to me as I entered the house after a long road trip.
"Hi, you're in my seat," I said.
The poor girl jumped off the couch as if she were shot out of a cannon.
Yet the real highlight of the weekend was when my beautiful wife and I did our comedy sketch for her about how wonderful it is to be in a long-term committed relationship.
"Get used to the sweatpants look," I told Matt, "because the getting all dolled up to come by and watch a movie doesn't last very long.
Leah simply smiled along with my wife.
"It's all false advertising," I said. "My wife has executed years and years of what can only be considered absolute fraud. The bait and switch."
Kathy was laughing as well because truth be told she knows it's true. She spoke a little about how much I've lost through the years but that simply isn't accurate.
I'm still dashing.
Yet Matt sort of breathed a heavy sigh when his hosting hours were over.
"It's a lot of work," he said. "You have to worry about whether you're entertaining them enough."
Matt looked to me for advice.
"Don't worry about it," I said. "Just buy her an I-pad, get used to the sweatpants, give her every single dime you make, and shut your freaking mouth, and you'll be all right."
Matt laughed.
Kathy laughed.
Jake laughed.
Sam laughed.
Everyone was laughing except for little old me.
It was touch and go there for awhile...we thought Sam would be a thorn in their side.
Turns out Matt should have been more worried about me.
"Hi, I'm Leah," she said to me as I entered the house after a long road trip.
"Hi, you're in my seat," I said.
The poor girl jumped off the couch as if she were shot out of a cannon.
Yet the real highlight of the weekend was when my beautiful wife and I did our comedy sketch for her about how wonderful it is to be in a long-term committed relationship.
"Get used to the sweatpants look," I told Matt, "because the getting all dolled up to come by and watch a movie doesn't last very long.
Leah simply smiled along with my wife.
"It's all false advertising," I said. "My wife has executed years and years of what can only be considered absolute fraud. The bait and switch."
Kathy was laughing as well because truth be told she knows it's true. She spoke a little about how much I've lost through the years but that simply isn't accurate.
I'm still dashing.
Yet Matt sort of breathed a heavy sigh when his hosting hours were over.
"It's a lot of work," he said. "You have to worry about whether you're entertaining them enough."
Matt looked to me for advice.
"Don't worry about it," I said. "Just buy her an I-pad, get used to the sweatpants, give her every single dime you make, and shut your freaking mouth, and you'll be all right."
Matt laughed.
Kathy laughed.
Jake laughed.
Sam laughed.
Everyone was laughing except for little old me.
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