Mid-Day Television
The other day I happened to find Judge Judy on for a single half-hour.
You should've seen how excited I was.
The one thing that I've really tried to do is keep the television watching to a minimum, but it's simply impossible. Still, not whining.
I knew it would be this way.
However, I've made some observations:
1). The creepiest thing on television is Ellen's dance up the aisle on her afternoon show. It's really a weird couple of minutes. She sort of creeps up the steps and not one person touches her. She also pretends to be singing along, and then it all ends with her hoisting her ass up and holding it for a few seconds before she plops into the chair.
The crowd is going wild.
It's creepy.
2). Law & Order sucks.
All of them. The show is a strict format and the detectives are real easy to hate because they are noble, all-knowing and really clever with their quips.
Quick - name one character (besides John Munch). You really couldn't give a first and second name to any of the rest. The thing that absolutely drives me crazy is that there will be a scene between two detectives and they will run through a dialogue that tells you that catching the guy is virtually impossible unless they get one really, really, really, really, really unlikely break and in the middle of their conversation...here comes Munch, or Iced-T:
"You might wanna' look at this!"
Then they will meet with the DA - either the Asian guy or the blonde who might be the worst actress of all-time - and they will all talk about the deal they won't cut because "Goshdarn it! We need to do what is right!"
And the next scene is the trial.
And either the idiot cop or the idiot DA breaks down the guy in front of the jury. Then they walk out...head held high that justice was served, or worse, that the system failed them this one time.
"But it's the system we got!" the screwed cop yells.
Garbage.
3). Dr. Phil, Maury, All other Judge shows other than the classic J.J.
The horrific behavior of absolute morons is held up high for strict examination. Dr. Phil had an anorexic on the other day and this 65-pound girl was in tears as her family surrounded her and told her they were sick of trying to save her.
Let me tell you, that poor girl was an absolute horror to look at.
I had to flip the channel.
Yet sometimes it's impossible to look away when husbands and wives start talking about how horribly they've treated one another.
She caught him cheating. He slept with her sister. They both still love each other. She stabbed him. He beat her. She stole his money, and holy cripes, it ain't even his kid, for crying out loud.
It makes you think the whole world is just a mess.
It is.
4). The National Football League
And my war against the NFL also continues. Do you know that there are football shows on all day, every day. That is certainly how it all bubbles to a crescendo by Sunday afternoon, but the big hits, the men being men, the false concern about head injuries, and the fact that every single announcer that talks about the sport must litter his speech with "The National Football League" or the "Football Field", is really irritating.
That's about it.
I may be ranting a bit more as I stew in my own filth day after day.
Yet it's all worthwhile.
When I find just a half an hour of Judge Judy.
You should've seen how excited I was.
The one thing that I've really tried to do is keep the television watching to a minimum, but it's simply impossible. Still, not whining.
I knew it would be this way.
However, I've made some observations:
1). The creepiest thing on television is Ellen's dance up the aisle on her afternoon show. It's really a weird couple of minutes. She sort of creeps up the steps and not one person touches her. She also pretends to be singing along, and then it all ends with her hoisting her ass up and holding it for a few seconds before she plops into the chair.
The crowd is going wild.
It's creepy.
2). Law & Order sucks.
All of them. The show is a strict format and the detectives are real easy to hate because they are noble, all-knowing and really clever with their quips.
Quick - name one character (besides John Munch). You really couldn't give a first and second name to any of the rest. The thing that absolutely drives me crazy is that there will be a scene between two detectives and they will run through a dialogue that tells you that catching the guy is virtually impossible unless they get one really, really, really, really, really unlikely break and in the middle of their conversation...here comes Munch, or Iced-T:
"You might wanna' look at this!"
Then they will meet with the DA - either the Asian guy or the blonde who might be the worst actress of all-time - and they will all talk about the deal they won't cut because "Goshdarn it! We need to do what is right!"
And the next scene is the trial.
And either the idiot cop or the idiot DA breaks down the guy in front of the jury. Then they walk out...head held high that justice was served, or worse, that the system failed them this one time.
"But it's the system we got!" the screwed cop yells.
Garbage.
3). Dr. Phil, Maury, All other Judge shows other than the classic J.J.
The horrific behavior of absolute morons is held up high for strict examination. Dr. Phil had an anorexic on the other day and this 65-pound girl was in tears as her family surrounded her and told her they were sick of trying to save her.
Let me tell you, that poor girl was an absolute horror to look at.
I had to flip the channel.
Yet sometimes it's impossible to look away when husbands and wives start talking about how horribly they've treated one another.
She caught him cheating. He slept with her sister. They both still love each other. She stabbed him. He beat her. She stole his money, and holy cripes, it ain't even his kid, for crying out loud.
It makes you think the whole world is just a mess.
It is.
4). The National Football League
And my war against the NFL also continues. Do you know that there are football shows on all day, every day. That is certainly how it all bubbles to a crescendo by Sunday afternoon, but the big hits, the men being men, the false concern about head injuries, and the fact that every single announcer that talks about the sport must litter his speech with "The National Football League" or the "Football Field", is really irritating.
That's about it.
I may be ranting a bit more as I stew in my own filth day after day.
Yet it's all worthwhile.
When I find just a half an hour of Judge Judy.
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