Merry Christmas Memories

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This has been a strange year.

A lot of sitting on the sidelines, not getting caught up in too much of the Christmas rage. One of my work buddies sent me a message immediately after the surgery.

"You're fortunate to have some time to just sit back and think. Cherish it."

Yeah. Just wanted I needed. More time to think about things.

Yet he was right. It is fortunate. You're kind of watching the world move with your own movements a bit limited, and a lot of Christmas through the years rushed back to me.

There were the Christmas' of our youth. Wild, elaborate celebrations that left me shaking my head about the hard work and generosity of spirit that Mom and Dad designed and carried out. The pizza at Grandma Fuzzy's...too hard to even try and duplicate that. The two dollars in the card from Grandma...Grandma and Grandpa Schryver's arrival and just hanging around, playing board games. Laughing and eating and buying presents and hoping that the presents you bought were good enough for the people you loved.

Those Christmas' seem to meld together into a huge ball of wonderful remembrances. Just great thoughts that I was fortunate to recall this year.

And then the Christmas' when the kids were young. The excitement of Santa Claus. The wonder in their eyes. Yet those years were filled with stress. Did we get everything? What are we bringing to your Mom's? Did we cook enough food? When the hell can I get a drink in here?

There's some wonder there too. My beautiful wife always doing the work in getting the gifts. She spent an equal amount of time wondering how I pulled off the big meal for 40 people. We worked really hard through those years...and did our best to make it a season of wonder for the kids.

I remember saying to Kathy after one such year:

"And Friggin' Santa Claus gets all the credit."

Lately it's all shifted once more. The kids are older. The family has changed. While we celebrated the addition as the kids joined the party we are now lamenting the losses.

The huge losses.

And it's impossible not to feel that now.

And the extra time allows you to think of that.

And think of that.

But when all taken together the reason for the season is still the same.

It's about the love, stupid.

It doesn't take a great thinker to come to that conclusion.

Yet there are moments when it sort of falls by the wayside as we try to eat, pick up all the freaking wrapping paper, get to this house, or that house...

...it's a celebration of love.

Those memories are covered in it. The actions of the day should be wrapped in it.

Just enjoy it.

No matter how much or how little you have...hold it tightly...and think about it.

And cherish it.

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