The Royal Gynecologist

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How much can you take in regard to the royal birth?

I find it all so weird, actually. That kid won the freaking genetic lottery, right? He is already a star just by virtue of making the trip down the canal.

The Queen makes $42 million a year.

That goofy Prince Charles gets his ass kissed at every turn.

His bald son landed beautiful Kate and now they get to have a royal baby.

Delivered by the royal gynecologist.

Do they have a royal proctologist too?

I'm just sort of burned out on it a bit even though having a baby is a blessed event and while Kate is a truly beautiful girl.

(All together now)

(She's no Kathy Fazzolari).

Yet there's a whole lot of pressure being born into such a life, isn't there?

What if the kid is butt-ugly?

What if he doesn't want to play dress-up and go to all of those ceremonies?

What if he is a little dim-witted?

I have a feeling that we are going to find out all the answers to all of these questions because we are going to get a blow-by-blow replay of every single moment of his life.

What a royal pain in the ass that's going to be.

Someone call the proctologist.

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