Parents - (Thanks Karl)

Things I Owe My Parents


My Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ..

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

cleaning."


My Parents taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."


My Parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of

next week!"


My Parents taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."


My Parents taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."


My Parents taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."


My Parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper"


My Parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"


My Parents taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."


My Parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


My Parents taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."


My Parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that

way."


My Parents taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."


My Parents taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."


My Parents taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”