Stop Wrapping!

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Every single time I think about wrapping a gift for someone...which I rarely do...because it ends with me trying to rip tape off my elbows...I think of my dear mother.

You see, Mom wrapped a million presents, and I might not be kidding. There were so many gifts for all of us under the tree, every year, and now she wraps hundreds for the grand kids.

But you see, what really gets me about it was the present I saw under her tree one year. I may have mentioned it before. The tag read:

"To Jeter, Love Santa."

Jeter is not the shortstop for the Yankees in this case.

He's the dog!

Did he unwrap it?

Did he read it first?

Did he comprehend who the f&*k Santa was in the scheme of things?

Or did he figure it out and understand that Santa was actually Mom who isn't really his Mom but treats him as such?

Oh, I'm so confused.

Yet I thought of it this morning because I had my daily chat with the nice woman at the gas station as I grabbed my newspaper.

"My hands hurt from wrapping," she said.

"I didn't know you were a rapper," I answered (because I'm clever like that).

"I must have wrapped a hundred presents," she said as she waved me off.

"Why?" I asked. "It's so stupid! They rip the wrapping off in two seconds and leave it in a pile and then my OCD kicks in and I don't even see one gift because I have to immediately clean up and dispose of the strewn paper."

She looked at me as if I were crazy.

"Really, what's the most you're going to get out of it? 'I love this wrapping paper'? It's crazy!"

She caught that I was just doing my morning rant and she laughed. That was when I told her about the present that Santa wrapped for the dog.

"Now that's crazy!" she said.

Stop wrapping your gifts, people!

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