I Resolve to
1). Eat more red meat - what the hell am I supposed to do? I still have those big porterhouse steaks in the freezer.
2). Root for the Yankees - Everyone is saying that this is the year when they really hit the skids. Don't bet on it. They're the 27-Time World Champion-greatest-franchise-in-the-history-of-sports. Your Yankees, My Yankees, everybody's Yankees!!!
3). Be more patient. I don't even have the time to finish that one.
4). Don't Sweat the Petty Things - There's a lot of time wasted in worrying about things that don't happen. That's a proven fact. I've made strides in being much more calm in my daily life. Gotta' keep going.
5). Don't Pet the Sweaty Things - It's a good thing for me that my beautiful wife isn't sweaty. I don't have a lot to say here, just wanted to get a George Carlin line in somewhere in the list of resolutions.
6). Don't Yell Back at the Kids - when they tell me that the Bills are going to go 14 & 2, or 13 & 3, or 12 & 4...or hell, even 8 & 8. They want them to do well. They are rooting hard for it to happen. I need to be mindful that all those taxes going out the window for 4 home game sell-outs where every dime leaves town is worth it. We love the Bills!
7). Don't Yell at the Kids at All - This is a difficult one because they are annoying, mindless little hoodlums from time to time. The reason I shouldn't raise my voice to make my point is because I know they are annoying, mindless little hoodlums. I once saw a video where a guy claimed to have raised his kids without once ever having raised his voice.
Lying bastard.
8). Watch More Judge Judy - the endless parade of idiots is mind-numbing.
"How's Judy handling them today?" Jake asked me the other night in mid-show.
"She's tearing them apart," I said.
"That's good entertainment," Jake added.
I agree.
9). See Bruce? - Let's see. I saw him in Buffalo, Rochester, Washington and Boston this past year. He is making like he's gonna' do another album quickly and get right back out there. Who knows how much time either of us has left. Damn, I hope I go before he does.
10). Stay Healthy, Stay Hungry, Stay Alive - I got the hungry part down. I may need help with the other two. I'm still alive here, but not quite 100% healthy.
I can't even remember what that feels like.
Happy New Year.
Now let's get the trees and lights down and get on with this thing.
2). Root for the Yankees - Everyone is saying that this is the year when they really hit the skids. Don't bet on it. They're the 27-Time World Champion-greatest-franchise-in-the-history-of-sports. Your Yankees, My Yankees, everybody's Yankees!!!
3). Be more patient. I don't even have the time to finish that one.
4). Don't Sweat the Petty Things - There's a lot of time wasted in worrying about things that don't happen. That's a proven fact. I've made strides in being much more calm in my daily life. Gotta' keep going.
5). Don't Pet the Sweaty Things - It's a good thing for me that my beautiful wife isn't sweaty. I don't have a lot to say here, just wanted to get a George Carlin line in somewhere in the list of resolutions.
6). Don't Yell Back at the Kids - when they tell me that the Bills are going to go 14 & 2, or 13 & 3, or 12 & 4...or hell, even 8 & 8. They want them to do well. They are rooting hard for it to happen. I need to be mindful that all those taxes going out the window for 4 home game sell-outs where every dime leaves town is worth it. We love the Bills!
7). Don't Yell at the Kids at All - This is a difficult one because they are annoying, mindless little hoodlums from time to time. The reason I shouldn't raise my voice to make my point is because I know they are annoying, mindless little hoodlums. I once saw a video where a guy claimed to have raised his kids without once ever having raised his voice.
Lying bastard.
8). Watch More Judge Judy - the endless parade of idiots is mind-numbing.
"How's Judy handling them today?" Jake asked me the other night in mid-show.
"She's tearing them apart," I said.
"That's good entertainment," Jake added.
I agree.
9). See Bruce? - Let's see. I saw him in Buffalo, Rochester, Washington and Boston this past year. He is making like he's gonna' do another album quickly and get right back out there. Who knows how much time either of us has left. Damn, I hope I go before he does.
10). Stay Healthy, Stay Hungry, Stay Alive - I got the hungry part down. I may need help with the other two. I'm still alive here, but not quite 100% healthy.
I can't even remember what that feels like.
Happy New Year.
Now let's get the trees and lights down and get on with this thing.
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