Thoughts of a Common Man

A couple of weeks ago a couple of kids started a dog on fire here in Buffalo. Thankfully the dog survived. This past weekend a couple of people decided to beat up a 96-year-old man during a robbery. The old guy is also hanging in there. Can you explain why those things happened? I get that there is a real disconnect between what should happen and what does happen. I do understand that there's just a meanness in this world, but seriously. Can you even imagine watching either of those things go down? Can you tell me why a young woman who'd been busted for drunk driving a few years ago would get back behind the wheel, again, drunk as a skunk, cross a center line and plow into a mother and her child? Mom has survived so far. The baby did not. Why, after all the time and effort put into it do we still have drunk drivers? Will it ever end? Can you tell me why a couple of men in the Niagara Falls area would drive by a car and open fire? The only person in the car was a t...

Every time I drive into Buffalo along Route 5 I think of bringing a bunch of college friends that way on our way into the city. "This place is a shit-hole," the ever eloquent Fluffy mentioned. And I think of a few certain sections of Buffalo as that way for sure. The old steel plant buildings are certainly an eyesore and despite the fact that we may not ever set up a waterfront as wonderful as that of some other cities, we can certainly do better. The old, tired, unused buildings that once gave the city life are now just sitting there...looking ugly and worn. There is talk of tearing some of the old dogs down and there are groups standing up in opposition. We need to preserve them as historical sites? For what? Exactly? Yeah, yeah a lot of people built their lives while working inside the walls of the place. It won't ever happen again. Not when they can do it cheaper in some other country. Not when no one works there anymore. My beautiful wife work...

The goofy kid from Two and a Half Men is causing quite a stir with his comments about the show, isn't he? Jake, or Angus T. Jones, as he's known in real life has had an awakening of sorts and he went off the other day about how people should stop watching his show because it's pure filth and will cause problems in eternity. He collects $350,000 a week for appearing on the filthy freaking show. Damn, that's a hypocrite, right? I'm just trying to get my definitions straight. And it's not that I don't agree with him. There were times when I thought the show was clever, hell, even funny. Since Charlie Sheen left its become downright stupid, and Angus has a point: It's filthy. Yet it's pretty hard to be lectured about morality from a 19 year old kid who actually became a millionaire off of the filth that was being presented. Has he given any of the money back? Donated it to his church? And what will happen to him when the show does ...

Every three years here in Buffalo we start chanting for the people who run the Bills organization to start firing people. Today on the job sites I gathered the following evidence. We want the head coach gone. We want the GM gone. We want the quarterback gone. Hell, we even want the owner real, real real gone. And then I heard it. "Sorry to say but we need the team to just leave," one guy said. "Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas, Andre Reed and Bruce Smith were a long time ago. We can't keep up any which way and we can't afford them anymore." Perhaps it was just sour grapes from a 13th consecutive season down the drain. Maybe it's the fact that hope seems to be fading for a quick turn-around. "This is our rebuilding century," another guy said. "Personally I've had enough." The next shot came from the third guy sitting around the coffee truck: "I paid my money for season tickets - they ain't cheap," he ...

Always liked this song...listened to the lyrics really closely on Thanksgiving Day...Steve Winwood The Finer Things While there is time Let's go out and feel everything If you hold me I will let you into my dream For time is a river rolling into nowhere We must live while we can And we'll drink our cup of laughter The finer things keep shining through The way my soul gets lost in you The finer things I feel in me The golden dance life could be Oh, I've been sad And have walked bitter streets alone And come morning There's a good wind to blow me home So time is a river rolling into nowhere I will live while I can I will have my ever after The finer things keep shining through The way my soul gets lost in you The finer things I feel in me The golden dance life could be We go so fast, why don't we make it last Life is glowing inside you and me Please take my hand, here where I stand Won't you come out and dance with me Come see, wi...

Today is my Mommy's birthday. (It's my buddy J.C's birthday as well, but when it comes down to it...he loses big to Mommy. Happy Birthday anyway, second-fiddle). And I thought of Mom when I was finishing up the Bruce biography written by Peter Ames Carlin - a great read for Bruce fans - it ain't all money and sheer happiness. Yet towards the end of the book there was an interview with Bruce's mom and she was talking about the impact that her son's success had on the family dynamic. The money changed it all for all of them for generations and generations and she was putting that change into the context of the sadness they'd suffered through the years. "I look at him and I can't believe he's my son," she says. That's how I feel about my Mom. Her toughness is extraordinary. She wants to cry every minute but she disguises the sadness with a hearty laugh. Her work ethic exceeds her toughness. "What're you doing?...

I am just amazed at the people lined up at every store. I'm even more amazed that now people are actually skipping their Thanksgiving Dinner to do it. Perhaps it's just that I hate everything about the mall experience from the 'Can I help you?' the minute you walk in the door on to feeling nauseated while you stand in line behind someone who wants to talk to you about their putrid life just because you're standing behind them to the swiping of the credit card to throw something in your cart that you don't really want or need. Do you know that most kids of a certain age are content to play with the box that the shit comes in? And if you really held a gun to my head and asked me what I wanted for Christmas I couldn't mention a single thing. And they do hold guns to each other's heads out there. Someone shot someone else over a parking spot in Florida. Ah well, it was in Florida, who cares? But, yes, my beautiful wife was out there. She even dra...

For many years on the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving I'd be out at a bar as long as I could...beer, shot, beer. Hell, there was even one college night that stretched into Thanksgiving Day. My mother was pissed. On the Wednesday this year there were rumblings about Happy Hour, but I worked until the end of the day and then made dinner for the hoodlums. Another buddy was on conference calls and one more guy took a nap instead. So, a quiet evening. I settled in for an hour of television with my beautiful wife and we watched the murder channel. Just one real-life murder mystery after another. We were treated to a serial killer - Glenn Rogers - who stuck better than 70 women. What else is Thanksgiving Eve for? Turns out, Glenn was living in California when Nicole Brown Simpson was murdered. He allegedly told his just-as-mental brother Clay that he was gonna' get her because she was rich. Could it be? Was Orenthal telling the truth? What a kick in the ass that ...

“We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven; We have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; We have grown in numbers, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace; We have become too proud to pray to the God that made us. It has seemed to me fit and proper that God should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged; As with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States... To set apart and observe the last Thursday of November as a day of Thanksgiving; And praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens.” --- Abraham Lincoln - 1863 "You have much to be thankful for; Whoever you are and whatever your circumstances. Look around. Look up. Apprec...

What a world we live in. Try and find a Twinkie somewhere tomorrow. Ever since Hostess announced that they were going out of business there's been a mad rush. Crazy. My favorite Hostess story revolves around a golf tournament where there was plenty of beer being consumed. One guy stood up to answer a cell phone call from his wife. As he finished up the call another man (who was more than portly)screamed out: "Hey Kevin was that your wife telling you that you can stay out a little longer?" Kevin didn't miss a beat: "No, Corky, you fat f%&* that was Hostess asking me if you mentioned how hungry you are tonight because they're trying to set their annual budget." I think of that line every time someone mentions Hostess. And being a Fazzolari I'm not much into sweets. I can't remember if I've ever eaten a Twinkie. (Yeah, this shape is all pasta and pork chops, folks). Yet there is a certain sadness, isn't there? It...

I was having lunch the other day when Cherry Bomb , by Mellencamp, played over the speakers. As usual I concentrated on the line where he croons about 17 turning 35 and I recalled singing that when I was just 25 or so. I changed the words to suit my own age. 17 has turned 25, 26, 27, 28.....48. And it gets to me, you know? I've looked back through some things lately seeing myself at the age of 26 and 28. The dark hair. The less weight (although all of my best friends referenced fat back then too), the hope and promise of things to come. And looking back there are a lot of smiles. Life has a way of stripping away the struggles, right? Do you remember when you were in high school, or college, or at a job that you particularly despised. When you look back on it, it all seems like it went great. You recall the smiles and the laughter. You distance yourself from the pain. And I suppose that it's good that life plays out that way. Yet back in 1993 it was hard to esc...

I forget which candidate was saying that corporations aren't people and which one was saying that they are. It was sort of a stupid argument anyway. Yet through the years I have operated on a simple basic philosophy and it has served me well through the years. It was one of my Dad's commandments: When someone gives you a job to do; do more than what they expect. I think of that all the time. I tell the kids to do the same. "If I ask you to clean your room, make me smile when I come in to check out how you did." It doesn't always work. Yet there are so many days when things get pushed together and every once in awhile we get caught up in our own thoughts. Life is unutterably weary and tiresome and there are moments when we start to think less about the job that we are asked to do and more about: "Man, I'm busting my ass here and no one is telling me how good it's going." And that's when places of business feel less like peo...

The story of the young man who drifted away after getting tossed from the football game on Thursday night is heartbreaking, isn't it? It is assumed that he was drunk from an afternoon of tailgating before the Bills played the Dolphins. He was asked to leave. He made arrangements to meet his friends for more drinks once the game ended. Instead he drowned in a small creek at the opposite end of the stadium. 26 years old. His photo was in the paper. It hit me hard on a few levels. I thought of my kids and how excited they are by that stupid game. In a few years they will be standing in the parking lot...exposed... I considered my own tailgating ways a lifetime ago. But for the Grace of God there go I It certainly could have happened during the Super Bowl Years. The kid was going out for a good time. It certainly got way the hell out of line. The NFL is under the gun for the drinking that goes on. Some people are blaming the security crew that sent him on his way....

There's a posting that goes around on all the social media sites. The gist of it is something like this: Like if you think states should have drug testing in order to collect welfare or food stamps. There are usually ten thousand likes for this and the comment section is even more upsetting to me. Why don't I like it? Because people are certainly making judgments and because those same people are casting stones at the bottom of the economic food chain. Is drug-testing something I'm against because it takes away rights? Not necessarily. There is drug-testing for all sorts of jobs in this country. Why not drug-test people who are getting free money? Yet what bugs me about it is that we continue to look at the bottom-feeders and consider that they are the cause of all of the problems in the world. I saw a lady using food stamps while talking on her smartphone!!!! Those are the types of comments that get to me. Let me try and explain my very unpopular positi...

I Love a Funny E-Mail A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying: 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!' Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?' The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said: 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!' Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they...

Wow. Sometimes the blog just writes itself doesn't it? Did you notice that the guy who does the voice of Elmo was targeted for carrying on with a young man who may or may not have been under the age of consent for molestation? The man recanted the story, but I had to get a blog out of it, right? I was never a big Sesame Street fan, but of course, as an adult I had to endure all sorts of shows as the children were exposed to all of it by my beautiful wife. I remember begging her not to bring a Barney tape into the house when they were infants because I just knew the hypnotic trance that the singing put the kids into. That stupid Barney song played so often in our house for about a year there that I told my wife that the lyrics would be prominently featured in my suicide note. She laughed. And if the allegations are true how can the kid who fell into Elmo's trance not brag to his friends? "Elmo and I are REAL close." But, of course, it isn't a la...

This is a photo from about 15 years ago. I haven't changed at all, huh? My buddy sent it to me and I spent a lot of time looking at it because it's a shot of me and a lifelong friend of my grandfather, my father, and my brothers too. Eddie was an institution around the little town I grew up in and we shared a lot of stories through the years. Every now and again I get an envelope of old newspapers sent to me about stories Ed and his own beautiful wife, Barb think I might like to see. And having a friend that has been kicking around awhile means a lot to me because he has a treasure chest filled with memories. "What was my Dad like as a kid?" I asked Eddie one time. "About like you'd expect," he answered. But I was looking for more. I wanted to imagine Dad in his first car, or on the streets. "What do you mean?" I asked. "He was f*&$ing nuts," he answered. We both laughed. Yet Ed was able to fill me in on the...

Your Life is Now by John Mellencamp See the moon roll across the stars See the seasons turn like a heart Your father's days are lost to you This is your time here to do what you will do Your life is now Your life is now Your life is now In this undiscovered moment Lift your head up above the crowd We could shake this world If you would only show us how Your life is now Would you teach your children to tell the truth Would you take the high road if you could choose Do you believe you're a victim of a great compromise 'Cause I believe you could change your mind and change our lives Your life is now Your life is now Your life is now Would you teach your children to tell the truth This is your time here to do what you will do In this undiscovered moment Lift your head up above the crowd We could shake this world If you would only show us how Your life is now

Weird story about Petraeus, huh? Is that really the reason to quit your job as the head of the CIA? I think there may be more to it, eventually, but it's one of those things that sort of fits into the 'Is it really our business?' categories. I'm sure that the man feels ashamed that he was found out, to be sure, but a deal-breaker? As I've seen posted a couple of times. If the head of the CIA can't get away with it what makes you think you will? And the whole getting away with it is sort of out of fashion anyway, isn't it? It seems that there are so many ways to catch the bad guys these days. It sort of makes you wonder how they only solve about 20% of the murders in this country. It isn't all Blue Bloods (a good show, by the way) out there. I've never been a very good liar and thanks to a bunch of paddle-swinging nuns I don't handle guilt very well. I often feel guilty for things that others have done. I have enough guilt to start my...

Since it's Sunday here are a few more commandments. Thou Shalt keep your religious views to thyself. Thou Shalt have to move to Canada if before the election you state that you will move to Canada if the election goes the way you're rooting against. If that was a real rule we'd be free of Alec Baldwin, Donald Trump, and a whole bunch of other morons. Thou Shalt not sit first in the line at the red light reading your Twitter feed. Its happened to me about 10 times in the last few days. I've had to beep at the guy in front as the light threatens yellow. When he or she is startled back to reality by the sound of my horn - which is usually a casual tap - they gave me the finger. Thou Shalt not do that either. Thou Shalt return to Facebook the day after the election to take the beating when your guy loses. There were a lot of arguments back and forth in the moments leading up to the election and some of those people still haven't come back. They should have t...

In 1991, Brien Taylor was the first-round draft pick for the 27-Time-World Champion Greatest Franchise Ever New York Yankees. He could throw that speed-ball by you, make you look like a fool, boy. Taylor threw the ball in the high 90's. He was going to be a superstar pitcher. He %&*ked that up by getting into a bar fight and making the $1.55 million that Uncle George paid him just a present. And I'm not sure Bruce was talking about the kind of speed-ball that eventually destroyed Taylor even more. The former first round pick will spend the next 38 months in prison for selling crack cocaine to an undercover cop. Talk about falling flat on your face. I really don't get that, you know? There are reports out that Vince Young is flat-broke. How in the hell do you piss your way through that much money? How do you just obliterate the talent that you're given? Of course, it isn't just sports stars who rip their own world apart, but man, when it ha...

As an adult do you daydream much anymore? Don't you miss it? I'm not quite sure when we really stop daydreaming. Perhaps when we finally figure out that it's really all a big pile of shit, but I used to be a pretty good daydreamer. I bring all of this up because Sam, at least, seems to have a pretty healthy imagination. I just know that he puts himself in scenarios where he hits the big shot, drives in the winning run, or is roundly applauded. Jake, on the other hand, doesn't seem to be in the pretend world as much unless you count the war he's fighting in Call of Duty...which is a whole 'nother story. "I've been playing that game non-stop," he told me yesterday. "Thank God there's school or I'd have lost my mind from playing." Yeah...Thank God there's school. But as an adult the 'I'm gonna' be a hero' dream sort of fades. There won't be any big, last second shots. I can't get the ball...

Now that the election year is behind us it sort of struck me how odd the entire process is. Not for the winner, mind you, but for the loser. I only ran for one office in my life. As a senior in high school I ran for the office of secretary. Don't ask me why I did it. I honestly wish that I hadn't. Not that I lost, mind you, but because I won. You see, I had no business running for the office. Four of us guys did it for a joke. We wanted to be the first ones called for graduation. We would have the honor of sitting up front and having our names announced. The problem being that the girl that had held the position of secretary from kindergarten through junior year had always ran unopposed. And she should have. She was great at being the class secretary. I beat her pretty well in the popular vote. The electoral college didn't save her. And do want to know the real tragedy of the story? She did all the secretarial work for the class during the course of ou...

I'm writing this blog before knowing the winner of the presidential election. You see, despite the sound of the news a lot has changed in four years. I recall being so into the last presidential election, fighting for what and who I thought was right, and there were so many polarizing figures in the battle back then. I really wanted it to turn out one way. This time, for some reason, it didn't shake me up so much because I got tired. I got tired of the same old arguments. We want our guns versus we want your guns. Don't tell me what to do with my body versus what is the moral right. Gay marriage. Adam and Steve. How many times can you argue those points with people who don't want to change their point of view? And then I grew tired of: "It was his fault, not his fault." "No new Taxes." "Healthcare is for everyone versus I ain't paying for the deadbeats." So where did I stand as the election played out? Reme...

As we get older I really think our patience leaves us. It just runs straight out the door being chased by all the special plans we made. I say this because there was a woman in front of me at the checkout line at the local grocery store. In the grand scheme of my life she will be quickly forgotten, of course, but for just a few minutes there we made a connection, and let me tell you: I hated the woman. Let me set the scene: One cashier open. It was just 8 a.m. on Saturday. I had a newspaper and a few cans of chicken noodle soup. I had two dogs in the car waiting for me to finish the second half of bye-bye's.I was fatigued, to be sure. The woman was wide awake. She had one of those loud booming voices and a laugh that was even more mind-numbing. She glanced at the headline on my paper that was on the belt behind her hundreds of dollars worth of groceries. Her 7-year-old kid was begging her for candy, but she was trained on me. "THAT HURRICANE WAS AWFUL!" sh...

There are a lot of autobiographies out right now about old rock stars. I started my reading list with Clarence's book that I finished just before he died. It certainly didn't change my love for the Big Man. Then I moved onto the Keith Richards book and I was scared to read that one because I've always been a Stones fan and I had no illusions about whether or not they were moral-living, non-weird, clean and sober musicians. I didn't want to read it and shatter my little boy ideals of that group. I did though, and I loved it. I actually gathered respect for Keith. Now I'm well into the book just released by Pete Townshend of The Who. Another childhood hero. Another mysterious sort of guy to a kid who wanted to write. Again, I was scared to just dive right in. But it's great, of course. That time is really interesting to me. From Elvis to the Beatles and then onto the Stones and The Who I am clearly fascinated with how it all went down. A bunch of dru...

How many political mailings have you glanced at an immediately tossed into the garbage in the past month? How many times have you muted the volume on the political ad, or fast-forwarded right by it? Do you know that it costs money for these politicians to reach you? A lot of money. "I can't wait for next week so this crap stops," Sam said the other day. We are building another apathetic American, folks. But that money that could be used for, oh I don't know, feeding someone, or rebuilding a devastated city or something. I don't even want to know how much cash is spent on each campaign. I certainly don't want to consider, really consider, what good that money could be doing for our kids in school. Soccer balls for all? It's a shame. It really is, but then again, I wonder how people would get their information about the candidates that they so seriously consider. "I'm voting for Obama. I just don't like the look of that Romne...

I know the New York City Marathon is a big deal to the brain-challenged people who like to run for fun. I understand that people wait for the event and train for the event and that perhaps there is money to be involved. I know that there isn't anything like a runner's high for some of those involved. But ARE YOU F&*%ING KIDDING ME???? Why in the hell were they even thinking about running the race now? People are starving. People can't get gas or food or power. Some people have lost their homes, their cars, their pets, their parents, their kids. It would have been a real goofy freaking time to be running around the soaked and tired city. I usually look at an event and listen to what people are saying and just for kicks take the other path so that I can argue the popular point. But I can't even do that here. Everyone in the world thought that running this marathon was a bad idea...except those who stand to profit from it. I can't believe it took ...

A few summers back we hit the Jersey Shore for the weekend and spent time with some great friends. As a family we were truly impressed with the sheer beauty of the place. Swamps of Jersey? Hell no, it was great. Like everyone else in the country (at least I hope so) my heart is heavy with the devastation that the bitch Sandy brought to the area. New York is my favorite city in the world to visit. I also lived in Connecticut for a year. The Stone Pony is there. Yankee Stadium is there. Hell, Bruce lives there! And the photos and the stories of pain... ...makes you forget about the Republican versus Democrat shit, doesn't it? And we saw how people sort of banded together. Governor Christie and President Obama walking together to survey the damage. Public servants doing what they could to try and help the citizens of a great area of OUR country. As I saw them step together on the nightly news I considered that they were doing what they are elected to do rather than...

As we were leaving sold-out Blue Cross Arena in Rochester last night my cell phone buzzed and my wonderful sister-in-law sent her review. It was a lot like my own. "I'm just humbled by his passion." Ain't it the truth? Bruce had a busy night last night. He had to hit Halloween. Check with A Night with the Jersey Devil and The Monster Mash . He had to sing about the devastation in the place where he grew up. Atlantic City , Jersey Girl and My City of Ruins . He had to address lost friends. Tenth-Avenue Freeze-Out and Spirit in the Night . He had to play two songs I'd never seen him do live. Something in the Night and Drive All Night . And he had to keep every person in that arena on their feet for over 3 hours. Dancing in the Dark for Kim. He did that and more. And my sister-in-law summed it up perfectly. "Bruce believes every word," I sent back to her. "And so does every person in the crowd," she answer...