Doing My Time

I've been out in the desert, doing my time
Searching through the dust of fool's gold
and looking for a sign.
Holy man says, hold on brother,
there's a light up ahead...

Whenever I leave home for a work trip out of town I think of these Springsteen lines from the tremendous song, Maria's Bed.

I am a creature of undeniable habit and routine and unfortunately when the routine is upset I like to hide inside my head and look for signs of a light up ahead. I'm always able to do this when I'm on the road.

Unfortunately, the trip was complicated by a lack of sleep and a cold, but I did sift through some of the fool's gold and was able to figure out the beautiful rewards that life has to offer.

It's amazing to me, but love does shine through the haze of perpetually foggy days. It isn't a mistake that I'm surrounded by people that care. A lot of folks seem to marvel at the closeness of my immediate family, but that was a specific design, you see, orchestrated by a couple of exceptional parents.

Which shouldn't just be dismissed as a fortune somehow granted to me and my siblings. Mom and Dad just got it, and they went out of their way so that we could see it. They expect us to pass it along.

Despite the fact that it is easy to get lost in the desert as you wander around looking for the light, there is a certain appreciation to how it was all done for us. We were always looking for the joys in life, but somewhere along the way we were also prepared for the tragedies that beset us all.

So that was a heartwarming realization.

And as I traveled the sands in my mind I thought of the road ahead. Again realizing that it wouldn't be easy. The sore back, sore legs, crippled thoughts, and weaknesses that come with being a breathing human, will not simply go away. There are kids at home waiting for me to prepare them for the laughter and the sadness. There are dreams of college just around the corner, and those dreams must be realized. Matt will have the time of his life. He deserves such a start.

My father's sudden passing has brought this all to light in an even more pronounced way, you know? The responsibilities have been clearly established. The lines in the sand have been drawn.

So, back at the ranch, the evidence of life kept me awake a little longer than I wanted it to last night. The boys were laughing, arguing, calling one another names, and competing in the latest edition of Madden.

I laid in bed, trying hard to unplug my nose as I struggled with the misfortune of having a summer cold.

I thought about yelling at them to keep quiet so I could rest, but my time away saved them from a cranky old man.

They were just living, laughing, and sharing. My cold would fade and eventually my eyes would close.

I sifted through the dust of the fool's gold...

...and found the light up ahead.