White Jesus

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There are a lot of people comparing the GOP candidate for president to Jesus.

Yeah.

That Jesus!

The cult is slinging this phrase about:

“Jesus was also convicted in court.”

A few of us traded a couple of clips from the rally over the weekend - including the unbelievable, embarrassing, nonsensical clip of being in a boat with a heavy battery that might sink while being stalked by a shark that is ten yards away.

“I’d rather be electrocuted,” was his final determination.

We can only hope.

Anywhoha…

…back to what the image of White Jesus means to millions of fans of the orange guy.

1). White Jesus hates the poor and downtrodden.

If you’re struggling to make ends meet, White Jesus doesn’t want to hear it.

“Pull thy selves up by thy bootstraps, you lazy bastards.”

Oh! And don’t forget to donate to the fake billionaire so he can save you.

2). White Jesus hates immigrants and brown people and of course those meddling Jews!

Doesn’t matter that Jesus wasn’t white, was Jewish and was a son of immigrants who needed help just so Jesus could be born.

3). White Jesus is all about freedom!

Despite the fact that America wasn’t a thing in Jesus’ time, He knew what America was going to be and He wanted to make sure that every American had at least 22 guns.

You know, for freedom. 

And to gun down those dark people looking to steal from you.

Like those damn immigrants.

4). White Jesus hates the gays!

I don’t even have to expand on that one. Gays and whores and deviants.

Look it up! It’s there in the Bible! 

Like the orange guy, White Jesus preaches about all those he hates because of the damn witch hunts.

Don’t even get White Jesus talking about that Libtard Pontius Pilate!

There were three of us on the text and we shared a couple of laughs and a few:

“I can’t believe what we are living through!”

I finally mentioned that:

“White Jesus may have been the worst person to ever walk the planet.”

How are so many getting it wrong?

Imagine the real Jesus and what he might think of a man who:

1). Defrauded people with a fake university.

2). Cheated on wife #1…divorced her. Cheated on wife II and dumped her. Cheated on wife 3 with a porn star as wife 3 was nursing a newborn and then tried to pay her off using campaign funds, got caught and lied about it.

3). Called military men who lost their lives, “losers”.

 Said that he liked soldiers who didn’t get captured, and wouldn’t go to the cemetery of fallen soldiers wondering why they’d die for their country because, ‘what was in it for them?’

4). Hates black people, Mexicans, and all immigrants. (Saudi Arabian people are all right because they have money).

Oh, I can go on and on.

Real Jesus said:

“Treat others how you’d like to be treated.”

White Jesus?

His favorite phrase seems to be:

“Send me a donation so I can destroy anyone who doesn’t look like us.”

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