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Buffalo About to Explode

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The Sabres played their first playoff game in 15 years on Sunday night, and for more than 2 and a half periods the Sabres couldn’t score. The arena wasn’t exactly quiet, but there was nervousness. I felt badly for my boys - especially Jake who texted me during every game all season long. I watched the first two periods on the big television - Boston had a 1-0 lead - but decided to go to a smaller screen for the 3rd period. Boston scored early in the third and I figured that would do it for game one, but I sent an upbeat text to Jake. “Sabres are dominating them. Just have to get one and the floodgates will open.” They got one. They got two just two minutes later. They got three two minutes after that. Then an empty net goal. “Holy shit!” Jake responded. The crowd in the arena going insane was incredible. The crowd standing outside the arena in 38 degree weather was in an absolute frenzy. They held on. “Geez, that’s only game one.” Imagine if they went to the cup final. Dream about winn...
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Did Nothing

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Went to bed in decent enough shape on Friday night, but woke up Saturday morning thinking: “I feel like garbage.” I couldn’t put my finger on any symptoms. A half-ass headache, no energy. A friend of mine reminded me of the old show, ‘Veep’. This is the golden age of television because it’s like snapping your fingers. I put ‘Veep’ on and watched it, and watched it, and watched it… …only getting up to play with Ollie. Still lousy with rest. Then I caught a glimpse of the backyard. Maybe moving would make me feel better. 👎  Took a nap when I was done. Watched the Yankees. Back to bed. And Sunday wasn’t much better. So, I go into the week well rested. I even stayed away from the news. Yankees swept the weekend. Sabres are in the playoffs. They stopped him from dropping a nuke… …and I’m feeling better.
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It Was Staged

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And now they’re kicking around the idea that the assassination attempt in Butler, PA., was staged. Here’s the thing: The first time I saw the footage, I said: “Yeah. That’s bullshit.” There has never been investigation because the guy who was supposedly shot in the ear didn’t want it to continue. Here’s what made it abundantly clear that it was about as real as an episode of smack down. 1). Everyone at the rally and the secret service watched a kid, carrying a rifle, scale the building closest to the stage, and they didn’t try and stop him. 2). He stood up, and secret service agents ducked down, and they raised the flag behind him so he could yell, ‘Fight, fight fight.” That’s not what secret service agents do. 3). There was absolutely no injury to his ear. At all. Check the photos in the seconds after the attempt. 4). The shooter was killed. Quick, what was his name? What do we know about him? Why isn’t captain narcissistic mentioning his name? 5). They stopped the investigation immed...
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Let’s Go Buffalo!

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The Sabres are playing their first playoff game- in 15 years! - on Sunday night. This town is going to go crazy… …the arena will be packed and fans will line the streets all around the building.  Of course it’ll only be about 35 degrees…but who cares, right? And for the first time in a while, I’m invested. My son Jake is a fanatic and he texted me every time a Sabre scored this year, so I started paying attention. What makes me laugh is that I saw that one of their players - Zach Benson - is just 20 years old. By the time he arrived on this earth I was already way over the freaking hill. Hell, I have kids who are more than a decade older than him. The hockey playoffs are an absolute grind. This first round series won’t even be over until May. The cup isn’t awarded until nearly July… …it may not be under 50 degrees by then. Let’s hope it’s a good, long run. We need it because this weather has absolutely sucked. So. Oh, ah, Sabres on the warpath!
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It’s Truly Absurd

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Reporter: “The gas prices are high. What do you say to Americans about when prices will go down?” Jesus Epstein Trump: “The gas prices came down very powerfully in the last 3 days, and the stock market is up, and Iran doesn’t have a nuclear weapon so things are going great.” Just absurd. Has anyone pulled up to the stock market/convenience store to fill up? Then, we hit on religion. Reporter: (paraphrased) “Are you done fighting with the pope?” Orange Hitler: “Well, I’m all about the gospel, probably better at the gospel than maybe anyone.” He’s the president of the United States. He can press a button to destroy the planet. And he’s completely out of his freaking mind. Are there people actually listening to this nonsense? Where are the adults????? Reporter: “What are your feelings about Melanoma talking about the Epstein files?” Swollen Ankles Pedophile: “Well, the victims didn’t want to go under oath, I’m told, so Melanoma wants them to do that, because the stuff about me was totally...
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This Damn Phone

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The alert sounded on my phone for the third time this afternoon: “Heavy thunderstorms.” I got that alert after a spam blast of six straight calls from people who evidently want to give me hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans. I also get about 10 spam emails a day as well. Yet, the phone can also spook me from time to time. Sam left the house wearing the one pair of shoes that I own that aren’t my work boots. I was holding the phone in my hand as I had a conversation about how I guess I needed to buy new shoes. I was immediately blessed with ads for shoes! I’m not kidding. It was picking up my private discussions. Sometimes it works out though because I looked up information about the new Stones record - yeah, in their mid-80’s they’re releasing an album of new material - and after looking around… …I got a bunch of Stones interviews. There is no doubt that my phone is aware that I’m a pasta-eating, fan of rock and roll who likes golf and the New York Yankees. And they try and sell ...
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A Dumb Decision?

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My son was all fired up about having a day off. “We’re golfing at Diamond Hawk at 3:45. We have a spot open.” “I’d love to play,” I said. “I can probably be ready by then.” “You’re in!” Sam yelled. “But there aren’t any carts, you know.” Yet I went around the sites as the skies threatened rain. I thought about walking 18 holes, and knew the course would be wet. Decided to back out. I was working on reports when Sam texted: “You’re backing out? There’s no rain. They have push carts.” How could I disappoint him? “No, I’ll be ready,” I said. I only played Diamond Hawk once, and it kicked my ass. The big problem was the walking. I haven’t walked a course since I was 18 years old! Around hole 7 I thought: “This isn’t so bad.” By hole 13, I changed that opinion. My back was barking. But we had some laughs, and the course to ourselves. I was sweating. Had hit some good shots. Definitely parred a few holes, but I abandoned keeping score as the conditions weren’t great… …and by 15, I wanted to ...
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