Thoughts of a Common Man

Pluto television has all the old shows. More trouble for Kathy as she walks by asking: “What in the hell are you watching?” Now, The Odd Couple is a legendary show for a few reasons: 1). I remember watching the show with my Mom. For some reason, it always seemed as though we were the two watching the show, and man, that’s a cherished memory. Mom would always remark about what an absolute pain in the ass Felix was. 2). I wanted to be a sportswriter because of Oscar. For the longest time, as a kid, when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, ‘sportswriter’ was the answer. 3). My first newspaper interview as an author brought up my Oscar Madison quote. I told the reporter: “I wanted to be Oscar Madison. I wanted to dress like a slob, eat like a pig, and write things people want to read. I’ve done 2 out of 3 and my writing career is picking up steam.” The Buffalo News ran that quote under my picture. 4). The show stands up! I watched the episode with Deacon Jones where they m...

Speaking to Japan’s prime minister who asked about why she had to be surprised about the start of the Iran war, the fat pedophile said: “You didn’t tell me about Pearl Harbor.” Robert Mueller, a man who served the county through a number of administrations died on Saturday. “I’m glad he’s dead.” The orange pig said. We have zero clue about why the war was started. To save the good people of Iran who were killed for protesting? Saving them by dropping bombs on their children is a curious way to show love. “They were two weeks away from starting a nuclear war,” the obese idiot mentioned. That’s a lie. Gas prices are through the roof.  401 k’s are in the basement. Stock market has lost a trillion. All the money DOGE was going to save? Yeah. No. The deficit is climbing. “The war is over. We can leave anytime because they’re decimated,” President Shitsinhispants mentioned. As they talked about needing $200 billion more, and sending more than 2,000 troops into harm’s way. And did you see...

Wisconsin lost to High Point. I have zero clue what state the kids from High Point live in, but they shocked the basketball world. Duke barely survived their game with Siena, and the final score won me a square as 1 & 5 were my numbers. And then North Carolina went down to VCU. So, we have ourselves a tournament… …which is great fun because you can watch and forget about the world for a while. And baseball season kicks off in less than a week as the teams are packing up their gear and heading North. “Are the Yankees going to be good?” A worker asked me. “They’re always good,” I said. “I’m hoping they’re great.” It’s been 33 years since the Yankees last had a team that wasn’t ‘good’. They’ve had about ten great teams in that span. Of course, I believe they will win the world series. Even when they were mediocre in the 80’s, I thought they were going to win it all. And that’s the beauty of sports. Escape. “Would you rather the Bills win the Super Bowl or the Sabres win the Stanley Cu...

I’m friends with a couple of guys who are dyed in the wool Republicans, and we have had some spirited discussions. I don’t get where they’re coming from, of course, and I was a little apprehensive about bringing up politics, but they decided to tell me that Iran had to be dealt with. “That’s not what you said before the election,” I said. “You were telling me that it was all about taking care of Americans, and that you didn’t want any new wars.” “We had to,” one of them said, but he was looking at his feet. “Okay,” I said. “You started it. What about the Epstein files?” “What about them. Bill Clinton is in them, right?” “Who knows?” I said. “Your guy is hiding them.” “You know Clinton is in them,” he said. “If he is, put him in jail,” I said. “What about your fat friend?” “He’s not in them,” he said. I laughed. “Clinton definitely is, in your mind, but no way Shitler is?” “I need to see proof,” he said. “He’s hiding the files!” “Then I guess we’ll never know,” he said. “Besides, no mat...

Michael Lorenzen is a major league pitcher, who was on the mound for a couple of back-breaking runs as Italy lost to Venezuela in the World Baseball Classic. A group of people went on the attack, threatening Lorenzen with bodily harm. Even death! I happened to look in on the hate as Lorenzen’s brother sent out a post saying that threatening the life of a professional athlete is just ridiculous. Big mistake! The brother got tremendous hate for sticking up for his bro. “You’re soft! Your brother sucks and so do you!”  Those were the tame responses. Lorenzen is a decent major league pitcher. He even threw a no-hitter as a member of the Phillies. He has spent more than 8 years on a major league roster. He gave up a few runs in a big game! And people are making threats on his life? Now, it’s not just Lorenzen. Any athlete in any sport who has lost has been absolutely destroyed on social media. Some, if recognizable, face hate and vitriol in their every day lives. Despicable, but man, so...

We were in our 20’s and now we’re in our freaking 60’s. Long ass time to put up with someone else! Of course, Bruce put it the best when he said that we’re all puzzles and we find companions just to see if the broken pieces can somehow fit together. Nothing is more true as you age, because most of the pieces are broken. But we have been celebrating this birthday for a couple of weeks now, as it appears to be mentioned every half hour or so. A couple of things are a must on March 17th. Sponge candy and an angels food cake. My mother-in-law used to take care of such things, but I’ve had to fill the void. I tried making the cake one year. Did you ever try and frost an angel food cake? Not easy. Especially not for someone with my limited baking skills. Couple of years ago, I found a bakery that was willing to do it, and even that baker wouldn’t guarantee that it would look perfect… …because they can’t be frosted! I bought a second cake because an angel’s food cake is small, and Kathy gave ...