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Classified Documents

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Well, this is going to shock a lot of people, but a report came out yesterday that Jack Smith compiled. Classified documents were definitely stolen, and shared with people aboard an airplane, and were sold to enrich one fat orange pedophile. Hard to believe, right? I mean, after all, he was a madman about Hilary Clinton using her email at home. “Lock her up!” Was the big rallying cry, as he and his cult members lectured us about right and wrong. He loaded classified documents by the truck load and stored them in a bathroom at Mar-a-Lardo. It’s enough to put a normal person in jail, for the rest of his life, but everyone forgot about it. Because there’s a new crime every day! For those not quite getting it: He stole classified documents and sold them and kept the money. A one word description would be: Treason. The Epstein documents have been put on the back burner because of the war that we already won, but hasn’t ended. Oh yeah, what else? The country is now insolvent. Another word fo...
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Opening Day!

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It’s early for baseball season, and a little hard to get too worked up because it was 23 degrees yesterday morning. Not to mention that the Yankees are opening up on the west coast, and opening day is actually, opening night. But make no mistake: Life is better when they’re playing baseball, and I can open up the box scores shortly after opening my eyes. The Yankees won 94 games last year. They have finished with a winning record every season since 1993. That’s a lot of winning, and while the hedge fund dodgers are making a mockery of the payroll system, the Blue Jays showed the world last year that they can be beat. Toronto should have won that 7th game. On to this year. In the National League, the division winners will be: Phillies, Cubs and Hedge Fund. The wild card teams will be Atlanta, San Diego and the Mets. I think the Phillies make it to the World Series where they  will face, and lose to the American League entrant. Yeah. Take a wild guess where I’m going with this: Divis...
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They Laughed At Him

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Over the weekend, the pig backed himself into a corner with his tweets. There was a long tweet that threatened Iran, saying it would be a bombing that would be so awesome, like nothing that’s ever happened. The tweet threatened war crimes and came with a 48-hour deadline. Iran answered immediately saying that they didn’t need to think about it. Bombs away! The world waited in the balance and everyone was concerned because escalating the war would destroy the markets further and send gas prices to $6.00 a gallon. But Pedo Pig had a major problem because if he backed off he was going to be seen as chickening out again. If he bombed civilians he was going to be arrested as a war criminal. What to do? What to do? He did what he does best, of course. He lied! Told the world, in time for the markets to adjust, that the United States and Iran had embarked on very productive, unbelievably amazing peace talks.  The greatest talks of all time. An hour later, Iran popped the balloon  The...
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The Odd Couple

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Pluto television has all the old shows. More trouble for Kathy as she walks by asking: “What in the hell are you watching?” Now, The Odd Couple is a legendary show for a few reasons: 1). I remember watching the show with my Mom. For some reason, it always seemed as though we were the two watching the show, and man, that’s a cherished memory. Mom would always remark about what an absolute pain in the ass Felix was. 2). I wanted to be a sportswriter because of Oscar. For the longest time, as a kid, when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, ‘sportswriter’ was the answer. 3). My first newspaper interview as an author brought up my Oscar Madison quote. I told the reporter: “I wanted to be Oscar Madison. I wanted to dress like a slob, eat like a pig, and write things people want to read. I’ve done 2 out of 3 and my writing career is picking up steam.” The Buffalo News ran that quote under my picture. 4). The show stands up! I watched the episode with Deacon Jones where they m...
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So Stupid

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Speaking to Japan’s prime minister who asked about why she had to be surprised about the start of the Iran war, the fat pedophile said: “You didn’t tell me about Pearl Harbor.” Robert Mueller, a man who served the county through a number of administrations died on Saturday. “I’m glad he’s dead.” The orange pig said. We have zero clue about why the war was started. To save the good people of Iran who were killed for protesting? Saving them by dropping bombs on their children is a curious way to show love. “They were two weeks away from starting a nuclear war,” the obese idiot mentioned. That’s a lie. Gas prices are through the roof.  401 k’s are in the basement. Stock market has lost a trillion. All the money DOGE was going to save? Yeah. No. The deficit is climbing. “The war is over. We can leave anytime because they’re decimated,” President Shitsinhispants mentioned. As they talked about needing $200 billion more, and sending more than 2,000 troops into harm’s way. And did you see...
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Hoops!

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Wisconsin lost to High Point. I have zero clue what state the kids from High Point live in, but they shocked the basketball world. Duke barely survived their game with Siena, and the final score won me a square as 1 & 5 were my numbers. And then North Carolina went down to VCU. So, we have ourselves a tournament… …which is great fun because you can watch and forget about the world for a while. And baseball season kicks off in less than a week as the teams are packing up their gear and heading North. “Are the Yankees going to be good?” A worker asked me. “They’re always good,” I said. “I’m hoping they’re great.” It’s been 33 years since the Yankees last had a team that wasn’t ‘good’. They’ve had about ten great teams in that span. Of course, I believe they will win the world series. Even when they were mediocre in the 80’s, I thought they were going to win it all. And that’s the beauty of sports. Escape. “Would you rather the Bills win the Super Bowl or the Sabres win the Stanley Cu...
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Couldn’t Bad Mouth A Pedophile

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I’m friends with a couple of guys who are dyed in the wool Republicans, and we have had some spirited discussions. I don’t get where they’re coming from, of course, and I was a little apprehensive about bringing up politics, but they decided to tell me that Iran had to be dealt with. “That’s not what you said before the election,” I said. “You were telling me that it was all about taking care of Americans, and that you didn’t want any new wars.” “We had to,” one of them said, but he was looking at his feet. “Okay,” I said. “You started it. What about the Epstein files?” “What about them. Bill Clinton is in them, right?” “Who knows?” I said. “Your guy is hiding them.” “You know Clinton is in them,” he said. “If he is, put him in jail,” I said. “What about your fat friend?” “He’s not in them,” he said. I laughed. “Clinton definitely is, in your mind, but no way Shitler is?” “I need to see proof,” he said. “He’s hiding the files!” “Then I guess we’ll never know,” he said. “Besides, no mat...
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