Thoughts of a Common Man

Another year has passed... ...she’s still here! Who had the over on me being married for more than 20 years? ‘Cause now we’re at 21! And what we do by way of celebration has something to do with what day of the week our anniversary falls on. “What are we doing?” Kathy asked. “Bingo?” I asked. “Really? You want to go to Bingo again?” “No,” I said. “I went last week. I’m good for about 10 years.” But the thing about our lovely marriage is that I may wind up at Bingo. We know what we like. We know what the other person hates, and depending upon how we feel... ...we use that information. Twenty-one years is a long time, but it moves pretty quickly when you’re busy with everything. I wish I had a dime for every message sent asking: “Take anything out for dinner?” I also wish I had a few stories that she hasn’t heard yet. I think she wishes that when someone says: “Would I?” In a show or movie, that I didn’t say: “Would I? Big ears!” Another of her fav

Giuliani got booed heartily at Yankee Stadium on his birthday on Monday. On Tuesday, ABC canceled the highest-rated show of the year because Roseanne sent a nasty, racist tweet. So. Maybe the tide is turning. And there was an instant backlash regarding the firing of Roseanne. Some saying that she was free to say what she wants, and that it was simply a joke. I laughed a little when I realized that some who are upset are the same ones who say that NFL players can’t kneel in their workplace. Here’s the rub. I always liked the Roseanne show. I was raise on sitcoms and I like the ones that are decent. There are a number of good actors on the show. Roseanne isn’t one of them, but her loudmouth act was once funny. Jokes are jokes and entertainment is open to artists who straddle the line, but you can’t take potshots at people and compare them to apes. That’s a racist remark every time... ...and it’s disgusting. Roseanne is in a bit of trouble now I would imagine, I do

Had breakfast with Matt, his girlfriend, my beautiful wife and my in-laws. I have a special relationship with my father-in-law because we both love baseball and we are both rabid fans of our teams. “How’d the Yankees do last night?” He asked on Sunday morning. “Trout beat the hell out of them.” I knew it was coming. “How can you even open your mouth?” I asked. “The Indians suck!” And we went from there. We talked about homers and starting pitchers and Andrew Miller on the disabled list. We held our conversation over the top of everyone else’s heads and to the aggravation of them all. Yet, somehow, the conversation shifted from baseball to work around the house. Who was mowing what, who was capable of changing brakes on the car, or even changing the oil in the car. Matt was on the hot seat as he got reprimanded for not rotating the tires on his car. I wasn’t saying much. I never was truly handy, and now that my legs suck, I do even less. In fact, I’m always looking

I’ve always enjoyed the Memorial Day Weekend. Parades as a child, planting Dad and Grandpa’s garden, ribs and chicken on the grill, thinking of the country, and feeling great pride. The summer has always felt like America to me. From Memorial Day to the 4th of July. I’ve always felt great pride to be a free man in a country where we stand for something. Forgive me, but I’m not feeling that way this year. A story broke about immigrant families who applied for, and are seeking help... ...are being turned away. Their children are being taken from them. Some of those kids are less than 5 years old, but that’s not all. These kids, who were to be kept in detention centers without their Mom and Dad, were somehow lost. 1500 of them are unaccounted for. These weren’t people sneaking in. They were requesting help, from America. “We’re closed!” Trump announced. I’m not proud of that stance, and there are some intent on changing the principles on which we stand. Add all

On Wednesday night I realized that I had just one more day of work for the week. I needed to take a day and actually change things up. I realized that the Yankees were off on Thursday. “Maybe I’ll go to Bingo,” I joked. “You’ll go? Really?” My beautiful wife asked, and I realized, instantly, that there was no going back. I was going to Bingo. During the work day I received a text. “You excited for Bingo?” “Haven’t thought about anything else,” I said, but truth be told, I wanted to go. I do the same thing each day that the dogs know exactly what time everything happens... ...to the minute. We gathered our boards, and I certainly needed help figuring out what to do. And off we went. It took me a little while to get in the swing of marking everything before the freaking next number was called. The poor caller said “N-34” And then a second and a half later said, “Um, I’m sorry, N-44.” I had already marked 2 ‘N-34’s’ “Ah, come on!” Some guy yelled out. “Get yo

The funny thing about your kids getting older is that as a parent, you have all the goods. Today Matt is 25 years old (I’m pretty sure - will confirm later - I never know their damn ages). And for his birthday I could mention: The time he walked into a wall and needed medical help. Or The time he swallowed a 2 pound piece of beef cause his teeth hurt and he didn’t want to get in trouble for not eating it. (Needed an operation to get it dislodged, and resulted in me still cutting all their food before I give it to them). Or When he tapped a school bus (empty), got berated by the driver, and told her “stop yelling or I’m calling my Mom.” Or Well, you get the picture. I have a lot of information... ...and I have used it, at times, to inform his girlfriend that he is indeed... ...the first in line of 3 dopes. Now, I could mention that he’s come out of the other side as a fine man who has his heart and head in the right place. He works every day, and he takes pri

So, the NFL is now all about making sure that the players don’t disrespect the flag because, you know... ...the troops. Has nothing to do with the fact that their ratings dropped, or the guy who may or may not have colluded with a foreign government (he did) wanted the flag respected. After all, conspiring with foreign governments may or may not be a crime (it is). Anyway. This is what bugs me about it. We are yanking at the threads of all the things that we used to respect as rights. I’ve said it before. I wouldn’t have knelt for the anthem, and I wondered what the end game was for all of them. There was no way to be painted as anything else but a bad guy. Yet, I live in America and it’s my choice! I want to have the choice to protest or not. And like it or not, a group of black men felt the need to protest police brutality against black men. The NFL could’ve stopped it all with a workplace rule, and here’s the rub... ...none of this would’ve ever happened, but the

I happened to catch an interview with a 30-year-old man who lost a court case, brought by his parents, who wanted him to get the hell out of their house. “I want to leave,” the Rochester, NY man said. “I don’t want to live with those people anymore.” “Why don’t you go then?” The interviewer asked him. “I don’t yet have the means,” he said. “Do you have a job?” “Not right now.” And a funny thing happened. I felt badly for the guy. I thought about my own children. I don’t see how I would ever serve them with papers to make them go. If they’re still here at 50 years old, I’ll be calling them to see what they want for dinner. “Will you talk to your parents? Will that relationship be repaired?” “Nope,” he said. “I’m all done with them.” “You have six months before you have to go,” the interviewer said. “After that, I won’t see them again.” The man was easily confused by any question that required any thought. I get it. We want our children to succeed. We need t

There’s some talk about the Santa Fe shooter becoming angry because he was spurned by a girl that he had a crush on. Evidently, he asked the girl out and was rejected. He didn’t take ‘No’ for an answer, and continued to stalk her. She finally embarrassed him in front of others and it led to his rage. There is no excuse, of course, but there isn’t a man alive who hasn’t been shut down a time or two. We’ve all had our hearts broken. I was a geeky looking kid. Tall and skinny with a big mop of hair that I had no idea to handle (guess I prayed about that too much because God yanked most of it). I was also a romantic at heart and I certainly enjoyed looking at pretty girls. I do recall the 7th grade and looking at one of the prettiest girls in our class. It was a quiet study hall, and I didn’t have anything going on so every couple of minutes I glanced over. Finally she yelled out: “What are you looking at, dork?” Everyone turned to look at both of us. It is 41 years later a

Or fall for anything. If you are against a president cheating on his wife with an intern... ...you should probably also frown upon a president who lies about paying off a porn star after their affair. If you were all up in arms about Jimmy Carter owning a peanut farm while serving... ...it should bother you that China is paying $500 million to the businessman. If there is a 4-year investigation on one politician... ...there shouldn’t be any complaining about a one-year review. Yet, we live in a time in place where there is a true divide. Totally against abortion... ...but vote against policies that might help a child? Messages should be consistent. And I know that you can look at something from a different angle and make it fit your narrative, but some things should be set in stone. You really shouldn’t cherry pick which part of the Bible works for you if religion is your thing. The constitution also has more than the just one amendment too. We have certainl

There’s so much out there that can drive you down. News about shootings, unhinged tweets screaming about how unfair you’re being tweeted by investigators, volcano news, racist rants. All things that have made me shake my head, and wonder about the life that will be left for my kids. But you have to let the beauty in. It’s fleeting. Sometimes it’s hard to spot. “Dad, did you see this?” Just my 20-year old son showing me that J.J. Watts is going to pay for the funerals for the Santa Fe victims. I’d seen it. I watched it over again with him. The dog jumps up on the couch. Just wants me to pat her head. Simple enough. “What sauce you want me to go with this weekend?” “Red.” I cut up the onions and add the garlic, thinking of my Dad doing it, every week, for a lot of years. We eat. Together. Sam and Jake trying to guess the batting averages of random MLB players, laughing and teasing one another as they turn it into a competition. That’s easy stuff, but just

On Friday someone asked me if I was going to watch the Royal Wedding. “Nope.” I didn’t feel like expanding on it. I was too busy trying to avoid the news. Another school shooting. I clicked on the news for a minute. The announcer was talking about how the community was going to band together to get people through this tragic, blah, blah, blah. We’ll here a lot about love and prayers and everyone will reach out to offer comfort... ... and it’ll cycle out. Until it’s time to pitch the news tent in another community where it happened again. I speak for a lot of people when I say that I’m sick of it, but I did hear about one specific kid who lost her life on Friday... ...and I centered in on thoughts of raising my own kids. How I felt on the moment when I saw Jake for the first time. What it was like to see Sam scooting across the floor. The heartbreak of Jake’s illness... ...the euphoria of his recovery. I thought about how much my heart still aches for all

New York City “lawyer” Aaron Schlossberg went on an absolute rant inside a New York restaurant where an employee was speaking Spanish with a customer. I put lawyer in quotes because it appears that isn’t a member of the New York bar even though he advertises as such. He’s getting what he deserves, if you ask me... ...and there was a whole lot going on in the way of protests outside his office. The landlord has also tossed him out. There are a whole lot of people enraged, and that brings some hope, but the deeper you dig into it, the  less I feel good about it. Because the loud-mouth lawyer was speaking for a lot of other people. “These aren’t people, these are animals,” the leader of the rabid racists said. Look, there are animals in every race of people. Think Ted Bundy, Timothy McVeigh, Dylan Roof, the Vegas shooter... ...and on and on and on. I particularly love the “I pay for your welfare” aspect of the rant. Maybe his tax dollars didn’t actually go towards we

We all have a television in our room. My room also serves as my work office so I usually put it on as I’m writing the day’s reports. I also watch the end of every Yankees game in bed, and other than that... ...I can catch other things on the living room set, unless the NBA Playoffs are on and I’m tossed out as 4 teenagers laugh and make fun of one another. Getting sent to bed as a more than middle-aged man is better than ever getting sent to bed as a child was. So, I get home on Tuesday and report writing time, hit the remote and don’t hear anything. I finally look to the screen and see the following message: “To activate your account, please call your service provider.” Didn’t make sense. Jake was watching television downstairs. I could hear it! I decided to call the provider. Now, full disclosure, I am normally prohibited from speaking to customer service reps. I lose patience quickly and I normally end up a lot more aggravated than before I placed the call. I gav

I’ve yet to hear an explanation on the bizarre tweet that Trump sent regarding saving jobs in China. It was widely reported that he personally received a half a billion dollars in the transaction. Read that again. HE received $500 million! And they made Jimmy Carter sell his peanut farm! I used to know the number of times he’s hit the links during his presidency. We all quit caring at 120 or so visits. American taxpayers are on the hook for the golf carts for the secret service guys... ...and before you shake your head thinking that’s petty, know it’s money that the government pays to the owner of the golf course. Yeah. Him. “He doesn’t take a salary! He donates it!!” I once worked for a ironworker foreman who was screamed at in front of his crew because he put a $1 bottle of soda on his expense account. After the owner left I said: “Why did you take that? Over a $1 bottle of water?” “I’ll get that dollar back a thousand times over,” he said. “There are other

My old buddy Al bought some baseball tickets for a Red Sox game at Fenway. He mentioned that he wanted to get Yankees-Red Sux tickets, but that they were a little pricey. “Yankees-Red Sux would be fun though,” I said.’ “Remember when he went to the Yankees game after college?” He asked. “Who’d they play?” It was like he flipped a switch. Suddenly I remembered it! My first trip to Yankee Stadium. Three innings in the score was: Red Sox 9 Yankees 0. Tommy John got shelled. Roger Clemens was on the mound for Boston. He’d won the Cy Young and the MVP in 1986 (Mattingly deserved it). I was screaming! In the bottom of the 3rd... ...the Yankees scored 11 times. Clemens got booed off the mound and he tipped his cap as we all yelled: “Clemens sucks!” Game wasn’t over though. Boston got 2 in the top of the 4th and it stayed 11-11 until the bottom of the 10th. There’s sad news. When Wayne Tolleson (the pathetic Yankees shortstop) hit a 12-hopper through the infie

Fred Flintstone had a bad gambling habit in one episode. Barney Rubble (a terrific actor) had a hard time trying to stop Fred from making the bets. It didn’t end well. I immediately thought of that when I heard that sports betting is now legal... ...and that the impoverished sports leagues will get a cut. What can go wrong???? I wouldn’t even think of betting on a single game. I’ve played the college basketball brackets for years and I’ve always bought some squares for the Super Bowl, but it’s a little too stressful for me on a routine basis. I recall years ago when I had the right numbers for the Raiders-Buccaneers super bowl. Three grand was mine! The Raiders has the ball but they were 75 yards away...and they were down to the last play. Rich Gannon (my least favorite player ever) threw a pick and wouldn’t you know it, he didn’t even try to tackle the guy as he ran by. Touchdown! I had been in the process of writing checks against the money. Disgusted. And

Well, not exactly summer, but close enough. It’s time to look around the yard and see the damage of what 9 months of garbage brought. We had a lot of tree branches in the backyard... ...plenty of dog poop too. The grass grows quickly this time of year, as well, and the boys usually get to it, but I miss being able to just go work in the yard. I feel so beat up that I resist the urge to participate, but I did get the mower going on Sunday and took a few swipes before Sam took over. It’s the weeds that drive me nuts, and I’m the only one they seem to bother. “I don’t do weeds,” Sam said when I asked him to pick a few. We have plastic down in the beds, but the weeds find their way through. The garage is clean. Big garbage was removed over a couple of weeks, but we still have a massive television that’s gotta’ go. Still haven’t figured that one out. As I walked around the yard I thought about all the work I’d done trough the years. At one time there were about 20 pine

My beautiful wife doesn’t look at her phone very often. She hardly ever answers it. (Drives me nuts). One night we were watching a movie when Jake came out to say he was going to play basketball. About 5 minutes later, he texted me. “Can you have Mom call me?” She called. He was having a minor problem with the car. “Why didn’t he ask me?” I asked. “‘Cause I’m Mom. I solve their problems.” And that’s certainly the truth. It’s actually the way it was around my house growing up as well. Dad was the guy who laid down the laws... ...but Mom was where we went when things got tough. This has been a cool year because Kathy and Mom have spent a lot of time together playing Bingo. I make the sauce and we eat afterwards, but why it all means so much to me is because my Mom and my Dad’s Mom played a lot of Bingo together as well. The more things change. And it’s kind of cool to see two great mothers hanging out and having fun. Happy Mother’s Day to all! All of

So, this guy and gal went to the same dating site. They liked each other’s profiles and decided to chance a date. I’m not sure what the details of the date were, but she evidently enjoyed it more than he did. In fact, she believed that they were soulmates. She texted him a few times, and he didn’t answer. She made the texts a little more clear...mentioning that she loved him, and she saw them married with children... ...all he had to do was respond. He didn’t. Would you? Thankfully, he had a business trip, and even though she kept texting, he was sure that if he ignored her she’d go away. While he was gone, she allegedly broke into his house, took a bath, just hung out. His not answering her was getting on her nerves though. She started threatening him... ...talking about playing in his blood. She even left a knife behind in his home.’ The final straw came when he saw her parked outside his home. He called the police, and she was arrested and charged with

I have a few buddies who, (gasp), hate the Yankees. When the Yankees lose, they make sure that I’m aware of it. I heard from each and every one of them when the Yanks took a 14-1 thumping early in the year. By mid-morning after that one I finally texted back: “I don’t own the team!” Well, I haven’t heard from any of those guys in awhile. 17 out of 18 wins will do that for you. Of course, I have reminded them of each win and the climb to first. When Gardner ripped a triple off the Suck Sux closer on Wednesday night, I tried to reach a couple of my buddies... ...they must not have been near their phones. And that Stadium was rocking. I thought back, of course, to the days when the Yankees expected to win every game. I recalled telling a clerk at the convenient store: “The Yankees are going to the World Series.” She had answered: “That only happens once a year.” And what really makes me smile is that this team is not built with money. The Yankees payroll is shr

On Wednesday morning, I went into the shower at about 6:15. (Stop imagining it!) By the time I got out, 10 or so minutes later, I glanced at my phone and I had 5 text messages, a missed call and a voice mail. Now to be fair, a couple of texts were about the Yankees beating the Red Sux, but the rest were work-related. I made a conscious decision to NOT return any of the calls or texts until I was good and ready. Cut to Wednesday afternoon. I was trying to write reports so I could finish the freaking work day before the baseball game started. The phone rang. Kathy was checking in to tell me that she’d be stopping at her mothers before coming home. “Okay.” “You want me to call you when I’m leaving there?” She asked. “God no!” She was a little surprised by my answer. Beep, chime, Mellencanp singing Human Wheels (my ringtone), and now we’re blessed with the ESPN chime (to tell me the Bills are 25th in power rankings) (they don’t play a damn game for 4 more months - w

What a story. The people who enjoyed running on the track at Holmdel School in New Jersey were enjoying it less, because, on a daily basis, they were noticing that there was human feces in their running lanes. Now, I’m not a detective, but I’m thinking it might be easy enough to place a camera on the track to see what’s going on. They probably didn’t alert the superintendent of their plan to catch the guy because... ...they caught the superintendent. Yeah. Tommy T (we don’t need his full name) was the Super of the school. For one reason or another, he took a dump on the track every morning. Seriously. Tommy T. is a 42-year-old man who ascended to the top of his profession. He was earning top dollar. He looked like a normal dude! He is now on paid leave after being arrested on charges that centered around public lewdness. You gotta’ figure that things are going a tad askew when ‘public lewdness’ shows up in your arrest warrant. And being the curious sort I gotta

When we were all kids there was definitely a fear of lava swimming through the streets, or coming around a corner and stepping in quicksand that slowly buried us up to our neck. Thankfully, like dinosaurs or dragons... ...that stuff turned out to be not quite as prevalent as we’d worried about. But man, I certainly shuddered when I saw the video of the burning lava as it flowed (and is still flowing) in Hawaii. People are using their homes. The earth is shaking and quaking, and the burning hot lava is bringing back all of those childhood fears. What a scary deal, huh? And we moan about the cold! Snow can be shoveled out of the driveway... ...lava isn’t so easily moved. And what happens once it all calms down? Could you ever feel truly confident that the world won’t shift on you? I think I’d get the hell out of Dodge. I also thought about those poor people who were allowed an hour to go back in and get some of their things. Do you know what you’d grab? I th

We watched the HBO Paterno movie over the weekend. Al Pacino did a great job of capturing the coach, and about halfway through I asked my beautiful wife if she thought that Paterno deserved to be fired, vilified and even charged for what happened at Penn State. “He seemed confused by it,” she said. “I don’t think he knew.” We kicked it around a little. The whispers about Sandusky started 20-some years before all the shot went down. At least twice, Paterno was directly told about it. “He reported it,” Kathy said. “And then he blew it off. Worse than that, he made sure it stayed quiet.” Once again, I could feel myself getting angry. I went back in time to an old blog I’d written about it. “The kids were ten years old!” I had screamed. “Who cares about your football program or your precious name!” I still feel that way. The entire football thing got so big that Paterno, who seemed like a good man, just couldn’t control it anymore. He knew that it would tear every

I’ve always been kind of fascinated about places that were here long before I was. I read a story about the childhood home of Johnny Cash in Dyess, Arkansas. The small house was deemed as a historical residence, and the article didn’t say much about what that means, but it’s the kind of place I’d walk through. Cash wrote a couple of songs about his time in that area, and I’d sort of imagine where he sat and what he was thinking as he created. It’s just a place where a guy sat, strumming a 6-string and writing. I know where I wrote each of my books. I just have to think of the book and I’m back in that room. Rooms in California, Maryland, Connecticut, North Collins, Lackawanna and here. They won’t be preserved, but they are in my mind. “We raised our family here. We’re happy that you will too,” the guy who sold us this home said at the closing. I think of that time and again. And it’s kind of weird to go back to places where you once hung out. I walked the streets in Eri

There are a lot of peaks and valleys in a baseball season. A good season can turn into a soap opera with injuries, trades and tough games and long nights. I understand that when a team is hot... ...they can go in the tank at anytime. Take the start of the year: Boston started 17-2. They’re 5-9 since. Yankees are on a roll now. It’s not that easy, but they look great. The one thing they have is depth. A whole bunch of good players. They also appear to be having fun, and while you can hate each other and win (‘77 & ‘78 Yanks did), when they appear to like each other... ...it’s a great distraction. I do a lot of reading, writing and relaxing as I watch, but I also check out the other games. Follow the soap opera. I know a lot of people don’t even look at baseball until it gets close to playoff time... ...I was raised differently, I guess. Back at the big house in North Collins the game would be on about 5 different televisions. Every game. For years.

As the doctor told my mother on the day of my birth... ...this is gonna’ Get ugly. (Rodney joke, I believe). I thought of that when I read the latest, “No Collusion! Witch Hunt!!” Tweet that the man who is pretending to be president sent out. My God! His doctor, who said that he was the healthiest president in the history of the world confessed that Trump wrote that report. Think of that!! Really think about it!!! He wrote a report saying he’s in the greatest health of anyone anywhere. The doctor who actually testified about his health said that he could live to 200 because of his superior genetics. Consider the depth of the sickness in the mind of someone who would do that. So, let’s recap: He’s made 3,000 false statements since becoming president. He hasn’t released his taxes because they’re still under audit. He never met Putin, never did any work in Russia, has no Russian contacts... ...but he’s firing everyone who finds out the next Russian connection..

To be fair, I love Claire Danes. I have for a long, long time... ...back to when she was in “My So Called Life.” She’s the best actress in the business. It’s not even close. She is simply amazing in expression. She can cry in an instant, and when she smiles at her child you can see the motherly love. (I told you that I loved her). Well, this year’s season of Homeland was exceptional. As per usual, the season mirrored the real life garbage in the political world with Americans split in half because of Russian interference. Halfway through the year they showed just how Russia was able to infiltrate our country. It angered me to my soul. Because although it was just a television show, I knew that it was true, and that what happened was a threat to our democracy. The show also portrayed the horrors of the radio and television talk show hosts who worked so hard to sew divisions. That’s been going on for a long while here. Watch the telling of the same story on the tw

Through the years I’ve made funny speeches in front of hundreds of people. I’ve been asked to do those talks because the people who asked me to speak knew that I’d be funny, and most of the time I understand my job... ...and I let them all know, right up front, that I’m going to swear. I’ve never really been called out on it, and I’ve always had a great time doing it, because despite the “risky” language I have a few rules... ...I don’t use anyone as a target... ...other than myself, or people I’ve made up to get my point across. So, I’m a little uncomfortable with the roast format of the WHCD. A lot of it is downright mean. Yet, I’m all for comedy. We all need to laugh. We all want to laugh. Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway were fair game, if you ask me. They are spokeswomen for a man who takes lot shots at a lot of people, day in and day out. They had to know what that dinner would be. The comedian, Michelle Wolf, absolutely destroyed them with a often

Bill Cosby is wearing an ankle monitor and walking around his Pennsylvania mansion, howling at the moon. You know that he feels wronged. Yet, a whole lot of people were celebrating that he was found guilty of sexually assaulting that woman because he had actually been accused of doing it to a total of 59 women. Or were they? I was shocked to read some of the comments attached to a recap of the guilty verdict. “He got railroaded!” One woman wrote. “Those women were whores! They didn’t report it then, but now they’re so traumatized!” (There were more than just a few people who echoed that sentiment). It’s hard to convict a celebrity, and Bill Cosby was a huge presence for a lot of years. He preached a little. He was America’s Dad as Cliff Huxtable. Each week he used comedy to lecture about living right, loving your fellow man, and teaching your children about compassion. Last week, he was found guilty of doing the exact opposite. Pretty wild. And I listened to h