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Showing posts from April, 2017

Theeeeeeeee Yankeeeees Wiiiiinnn!!

I called out the Yankees in this space when they won just one of their first five. They're 14 up and 3 down since. And fun to watch!! Feels like 1996. Aaron Judge leads the league in homers. Luis Severino strikes out 10 a game. Little guy, Ronald Torreyes, seemingly gets a hit every time up. Farewell tours for Yankees legends are done... ...time for the new guys! So, of course, I have been absolutely obnoxious about it. On Friday night they were losing 9-1 and the two buddies who the the Yankees were quick in the trigger. "Yankees suck! They're getting killed!!" I answered, of course, but I was kind of quiet about it... ...and then 9-1 and 11-4 turned into... 14-11 Theeeee Yankeeeees Wiiiiiiiin!! "Hello, dummies," I texted back. Dead silence all around. Damn! This is fun!!

Road Weary

Set foot in 9 states since Tuesday afternoon, and as per the joys of traveling there were moments. Nearly grabbed a hotel desk clerk by the necktie and yanked him across the counter because we had discussed room billing three weeks previous and he evidently forgot. He just about received a bruising because he asked me what kind of car I was driving and then said: "Or did we discuss that 3 weeks ago?" I answered with: "Even if we had you have zero recall ability anyway." I asked him to give me my room key, and requested that he never speak to me again. I think he's good with that. There were 4 flights. They told me how to latch my seatbelt on each one. I was jammed into 2 seats, but had plenty of room on the other two flights. Just for fun I also drove approximately 700 miles. Why people in Boston live there is beyond me. They waste hours and hours of their lives driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic. It's nuts! Slept in 4 different be

Empty Garden

No one gets through life unscathed. You live long enough and you're going to be left here to miss the hell out of someone you love. It's the least fun thing about being alive, right? What really sucks about it is when you're caught off-guard and there's something to remind you of that beloved person. And you stop what you're doing and say, "Man. That sucks." It happens way too many times with Jeff. Every baseball game, Bruce song, perfectly made dinner... ...just way too many things. But yesterday, it was my Dad's memory that caught me. I caught an Elton John song from years gone by... ...a song actually written for John Lennon. Empty Garden. Elton was crooning about the Empty Garden and saying "Hey, hey, Johnny." And I thought of Dad. John. I thought of the years gone by and the hours spent in the garden. Jim threw a rock that dropped Dad to his knees as he tilled the ground. We all ran as fast as we could, thin

Felt Up

I stepped through the scanner at the airport and did the little pose. I stepped out and the young, skinny black kid halted me with his hand and checked the scan. "Okay," he said. "Do you have anything in your right pocket?" "No," I said. I was wearing sweatpants and every once in awhile I get a pat down because the pants bunch up, I guess. "Would you like to do this here or go to a back room?" He asked. "Do what?" I asked. He was snapping on a pair of gloves. "I need to do a pat down. Do you have anything in your pockets? Last chance." "I don't," I said. "Do what you have to do." I watched my bag make it through the scan, along with my shoes and coat. "Do you have any painful spots?" He asked. I laughed. "Go ahead." I'm not sure what I was expecting but he went up and down each leg and then patted my ass. Just before I said "What the $&&$?&q

🎶 Soothes the Savage Beast

Got in the car on Monday morning and the Sirius radio was set to the 80's station. Bryan Adams was doing "Run to You" and it's a song I hadn't heard in years. It brought me back to college days and drinking 🍻 with the boys. We played the tunes good and loud and Bryan Adams had a huge record in 1985. That's really 32 years ago??? It was an old MTV host playing the tunes and even her voice took me back. There was a lot of time spent around the television as the new videos had their 🌎 premiere. She played Pink Floyd, the Wall. "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" And it dawned on me that I was having a better day just listening to music rather than the talk shows. "Sultans of Swing" by Dire Straits made me open the windows and sing loudly. "Guitar George, he knows all the chords." That gave way to "Roll Me Away" by Bob Seger and my mood was through the roof. "Staring out

Paint the Garage

The weekend weather was nice enough for there to be a lot of activity around the neighborhood. Everyone seemingly taking stock in what needs to be done to clean things up after a pretty mild winter. Our lawn was a mess, first off. "Where are the dogs?" My beautiful wife asked on Sunday morning. "Out running in the meadow," I said. And I thought about Sam trying to push now the yard in a couple of hours. He would get frustrated. He'd miss huge chunks of grass as he tried to rush through it. "I'm going to mow it," I announced. "Don't do it!" Kathy said. "It's going to ruin you for the week!" "I'll take it slow." And I did. Not that I had much choice. The mower was bogging down with the heavy, wet grass. Sam emerged as I was halfway through, earpiece in hand. "I can finish," I said. "Clean the garage." Sam carted out the patio furniture and cleaned

Joanie

If you were a kid born in the 1960's your favorite television show in your young life was most likely Happy Days. Fonzie was the cool guy that you wanted to be... ...and you most likely had a little crush on Joanie. Yet it was almost like she was everyone's little sister. After Happy Days Joanie hooked up with Chachi and we all know that Scott Baio went a little off the wall. Erin Moran, the actress who played Joanie didn't have much luck either. She kind of disappeared from television and then came the horror stories. She was homeless, strung out and bitter. There was talk of alcohol and drug abuse. She sued for money from those happier days, and she grew alienated from the rest of the cast. Henry Winkler and Ron Howard made it big time. How could they let Moran suffer? She was homeless! They couldn't help her out? I head Winkler (who might be the nicest guy in show biz) talk about the heartbreak of her life. They trie

Blinded By Science

Saturday there was a march for science. Weird, but when I was a kid my Mom made us watch the moon landing, and we spoke of scientists and astronauts as brilliant people who were doing things that were too heady for us regular folk to understand. There were thoughts of trips to Mars, colonies on the moon and flying cars. We would soon figure out alternative energies, and be able to manage the pollution, and maintain the beauty of a planet that we were fortunate to inhabit. Now, however, scientists are considered to be weirdos of sorts. Their spouting about climate control, their whining about pollution... ...babies!!! Libtards!!! "Leave it alone!" "It's all just theory!!" I don't know when it became an argument between religion and science. Evidently if you think Adam and Eve were alive in the Garden of Eden, you're dead set against the dopes who warn that polluting the world is not good. I believe that I understand the problem a littl

My Bad

I usually never leave the hotel room when I go out of town. The travel is by design these years because it gets me off my feet for awhile. Heating pad or ice pack and I'm ready for the days of endless site visits when I'm in Buffalo... ...unless my buddies want to grab dinner. Well, on this trip, dinner was out as one friend was away, but the other called me as I was watching "The Big Lebowski." "Come on out. I gotta' grab dinner." The place was three minutes away from my hotel room. I went. The atmosphere in the sports bar was lively as the hockey and basketball games were on. The Yankees were off, but a photo of Reggie on the wall spurred a lot of talk about days gone by. I even ordered a beer...something I do about twice a year. As we talked about the 1978 team a man beside me started to chime in. He was funny and well-informed, and much to my dismay, he also appeared to be visually impaired. But no one cared...he was making us laugh.

"I Went Without My Annual Bonus"

I was listening to a CEO from a banking company as he was interviewed on one of the news programs. The bank had come into some trouble during his reign and 50 or so employees took a fall. The CEO being interviewed (let's call him Mr. Potter) was getting heat because those employees lost their job, but Mr. Potter came through it with a healthy raise... ...about two million per year to a annual salary of $12 million. "Well, I did take on additional duties," Mr. Potter said. "I had a lot of extra pressure added to my day-to-day." The interviewer spoke of the bail-out the bank had received and the poor common dopes who were called frauds and lost their jobs. "A lot of people really suffered during your years at the helm," the interviewer said. "But the annual bonus I normally received as a part of my package was denied me for two years," Mr. Potter said. The whine in his voice made me ill. "But you also received a two million

What A Sad, Sad Life

The American tragedy that was Aaron Hernandez is nearly over. All that is left is the pain of the destruction that he left in his wake. Hernandez was a gifted athlete... ...the older I get... ...the more I realize that being a good athlete has zero to do with being a decent human being. I first learned that when O.J. Simpson just destroyed the childhood adoration of all the Buffalo-born kids. (But, hey, he's still in the ring of honor!) Yet, Hernandez is truly a horrific story. His big troubles began when his Dad died. Aaron was on his way to Florida to play football when he lost his father, and all sense. At Florida there were troubles. His quarterback there, Tim Tebow (a true All-American boy) tried to help his disturbed teammate, but everyone knew that Aaron would have to find his way, or bad things would happen. In New England, he found stardom. Robert Kraft, Hoodie, and Tom Brady (the 🐐) all tried a little guidance, but there was too much money, too much f

Scooter & White

On Monday night I was watching the Yankees-White Sox game... ...which is not all that unusual. I was texting back and forth with Pops and I became involved in a conversation with a couple of Yankees fans on Twitter. It started innocently enough as we critiqued Al Leiter as the color man with Michael Kay on the YES broadcast. Soon enough we were chatting about our favorite announcers (Kay, Stone and Sterling in small doses) and we all agreed on who we hate doing baseball (Joe Buck). Then Rob (a guy I just met on Twitter) mentioned that Scooter and White were the best. Instantly I was taken back in time to the late 70's and early 80's. HOLY COW! I thought of the summer days with my brothers, sisters and Mom and Dad. (And hundreds of friends). We used to watch the games in the garage. The screen door on. Eating cukes and tomatoes. And laughing at Phil Rizzuto (Scooter) who would entertain us with stories of his wife, Cora. He'd eat cannoli. He'd talk ab

Facebook Live

On Sunday a story broke about a man in Cleveland, Steve Stephens, who recorded himself walking up to an elderly man, (who he didn't seem to know) and pressing a gun to his head... ...shooting the man dead...and letting the recording go for three minutes. Stephens recorded himself murdering someone. I suppose that it was only a matter of time. We all have cameras and video recorders. We can now document every moment of our lives... ...so eventually someone was going to record a murder of someone who was killing just to kill. I recall the Pennsylvania politician, Bud Dwyer, who killed himself on television. I saw that footage once. Over 30 years later and I still can't unsee it! Yet I'm not surprised by the Stephens report of murder being recorded. What would surprise you? We now all get news releases straight to our phone: "Active shooter reported @ (Pick the city)." Does that news report even phase you anymore? In San Bernadino a couple

Neat Stuff

Emma Moreno, of Italy, died recently. She was 117 years old and it's believed that she's the last person born in the 1800's to die. They're all gone now. That's what's weird when you think about it. All new people. I was reading the story of Rod Carew and his heart transplant. Carew was an unbelievable hitter during the years when I was growing up. He slapped singles all over the place. He also stole home 8 times in one year. And as he aged his heart gave out. Last year he received a new one from a 29-year old athlete, who suffered a fatal aneurism. Konrad Reuland was also a professional athlete having played tight end in the NFL. His death was horrific, but his family got to hear his heart beating again... ...in Carew's chest. And here is the really neat part: Konrad had met Carew as a child and had been absolutely thrilled with the chance to meet such a big star. Konrad's parents communicated it all to the grateful Carew. I hope that ki

Easter Message

My buddy Al DeCarlo sent me a message on Good Friday morning: "Meet you at Holy Spirit Church where we can serve Mass, do stations of the cross and then go shoot hoops in the gym." My mind shifted to those years... ...2nd grade through 6th grade. We went to Mass every day during Holy Week. The stations of the cross was eternal as the priest blessed the gathering, raised the insence, and scolded the idiot altar boys who were screwing around the entire time. Simpler times. What a disaster the world seems to be from time to time when you see it through adult eyes. North Korea? Syria? Afghanistan? Dropping the mother of all bombs, wondering about whether a nuke can make it here or not. Hearing that our leader doesn't want anything to do with the Pope... ...cause he doesn't like him. I hate turmoil and chaos. That might be what should be written on my tombstone: "He just wanted everything to be in order." Won't happen!! Yet, I was li

Let's Play 🏀

My nephew John has been here all week. Let me catch you up on their schedule: Sleep in. Eat. Play basketball 🏀 Eat. Joke around. Play basketball 🏀 "Come on, let's ball," Johnny has asked me every day. "Those days have passed," I explained. All week long. The same question, over and over. On Thursday, after he ate dinner. He looked at the linguine and clams that I made. "Can I have some?" "Of course, but you just ate." He took a half a pound and ate it in about 45 seconds. Then he took the rest out of the fridge, heated it up and finished it. "Can I ask you a question?" "I'm not playing basketball 🏀," I said. "No. Would you make more of that pasta?" I laughed. On Friday afternoon I finished up work and heard the ball 🏀 bouncing. I walked out the front door to see my brother John, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath as he stood between Sam and John. I took

What's Your Story?

Caught a Twitter blurb about Springsteen's autobiography and an interview that he did to support it. "I'm working on the story that my ancestors will tell about me." He says a whole lot of interesting things. I suppose that every man considers that once he understands that there are less days left in front of the horse than what's in back of the cart. What else would you be working on after a certain point. What's your story? I thought of that the other day as I was driving by a diner in a small town. The man appeared to be about my age. In the middle of the day, the disheveled man was smoking a cigarette and drinking from a container that was covered up by a paper bag. His clothes were worn, his face unshaven. He was looking at traffic passing by. Since there was a long red light in front of me, I glanced over at him, wondering: "What's his story?" What would people say about him after he was gone? And perhaps there was a

Doubling Up Your Mistakes

I have a couple of close friends who are really good golfers. (I haven't played yet this year...hope I can...checking on another injection in the hip). I often ask the good golfers how they stay on top of the mental part of the game. Even with physical difficulties the game can be played well..."old man golf". "Don't double up on your mistakes," my good pal Robert once told me. That makes a lot of sense. A bad shot into the woods is troubling, of course, but pitching it back into the fairway is the smart play. The problem being that often times after making a mistake there's a true passion to make up for it... ...and you usually end up compounding the problem. Every golfer 🏌 in the world has spent time in the barrel, or as my main golf partner, Jeffy says: "I'm 'strug-a-ling'," in his Joe Namath voice. Since you're golfing in a 4-some there may be one, two, three or all four golfers battli

Dragged Off A Flight

United Airlines is in a bit of trouble after their security agents literally yanked a guy from his seat to make room for their flight crew members. The video has gone viral. The man was dragged down the aisle and left bloodied by the encounter. My thoughts on this are colored by the flights I've been on through the last couple of years. Flying around the country isn't for the weak. My main problem with all of it is that no one is pleasant !!! Are we all considered terrorists until we prove ourselves innocent? "Take your shoes off! Are your pockets empty?" All in monotone...all in that mean substitute teacher voice. "Are your pockets empty?" I hear for the 3rd time as I wait to pose in the X-ray machine. I don't even answer after the 2nd time. Last week I saw that my carry-on bag got pulled aside for inspection. It appears that when I carry my writing notebooks they have to look at them. Right there the guy went through my bag. He

Bah!!!

A week ago Sunday was opening day. Yankees laid an Easter egg. No big deal. They haven't won on opening day in 6 years. Tanaka just had a bad day. "They'll be all right. Bird and Sanchez are going to have big years." And all seemed fine when they won the next day. Last season they started real slow. 8-14. It cost them a shot at the playoffs. The win on day 3 went a long way towards calming my fears. "The kids just gotta' hit," I explained. Just 3 hits out of Bird, Judge and Sanchez in first 3 games. "The bullpen is awesome!" They lost game 4 as the bullpen blew a lead. "Sanchez hit a bomb, though. He's ready to go on a tear." But at 1-3 I was starting to hear garbage from the haters. Bird and Judge were benched for Game 5. The bullpen blew another lead and to make it all the more miserable, Sanchez got hurt... ...taking a swing. He's out for at least a couple of weeks. "How the Stankees doi

Horror Movies

We caught a movie about a house that was haunted by the former tenant. Seems the guy in the attic had murdered his entire family, but it was a pretty nice home so the family purchased it. The daughter didn't want to move. Mom and Dad were all excited. Then the fun began. Little things were out of whack. Then the guy down the street came up missing. Daughter warned Dad. Dad changed the locks: "It'll be all right, you'll see." I'm not much of a fan of the genre. The plot is usually the same. The deaths are particularly gory. The so-called adults in the movie make really bad choices. "I know you saw a man in the attic," Dad says. "I believe you, but we can run off to a hotel room and be scared, or we can stay in our own home and live our lives." You just know that Dad is dying in the next scene. Eventually the bad guy will be in hot pursuit, and the damsel in distress will run, screaming. Then she'll fall down and n

They Got Me Again

Sam & my nephew Johnny are doing a pretty good Cliff-Jeff impression. "I'm always trying to talk him out of doing stupid stuff," Sam said. Yeah. I know the feeling. Once again, when it all comes down, I'm the one who gets burned. Johnny and I often play billiards on the phone. He takes a shot, sends it to me, and we play a few games in a row. I hadn't heard from him in awhile. Until Friday night. I was in the airport, waiting for the captain to show up so we could leave. I received a text with the billiard table and a message. "Remember when you said you'd get me a plane ticket for my birthday?" "Sure," I answered. "When you thinking of coming up?" I missed my shot and sent the table back. "Tomorrow," he said in the return text. He had made 3 shots. I made one, missed my second shot. "Plane tickets don't actually work like that," I said. "It's pretty expensive to try a

My Heart Aches

The nuns did a number on me. I remember setting one nun a-stutter by asking her: "Is it still wrong if we kill people in a war?" I have a great memory. I remember that she couldn't answer me. She basically made me go sit down. It's funny, but I was having a conversation with a very right-leaning guy earlier in the week. I directly asked him what he thought about denying refugees sanctuary. "I don't care about any of those people! I don't want one of them entering MY country!!" I made like that nun. I knew the conversation was over. On Friday morning I listened to the reports of the bombing. The news anchors were praising the "beautiful" bombs, and the exacting precision of the strikes. Made my heart ache. Then heading over to Facebook and Twitter... ...where the celebrations of the bomb drops were reaching epic proportions. Look...chemical weapons being used on women and children is horrific. That hurts me too. Bom

Two-Point-Five-Million

18-Year-Old Romanian model Aleexandra Kefren decided to sell what she had... ...her virginity. I don't quite know how one goes about selling such a thing, and not getting arrested for prostitution, but I'll play along. She was looking for a cool million dollars. She got that. Then an anonymous bidder decided to get rid of all competition by ponying up a bid of $2.5 million. I have a few questions. 1). Two and a half million bucks??? 2). What does that get you, exactly??? 3). Is there a set time???? First off, I don't have that kind of money. Secondly, she's just a kid. Thirdly, it's a ton of money for what could, potentially be about twelve seconds of someone's time. Stuff like this hardly ever works out. Remember the Demi Moore-Woody Harrelson movie where he sold his wife for a million bucks to Robert Redford (I think). That one didn't work out. I imagine that the girl (who is pretty beautiful) believes that she's being a

I Have A Solution

Hearing a lot of debate about the next Supreme Court Justice. The GOP wouldn't even grant Garland a hearing because Obama was in the last year of his presidency.. ...then, against all odds, Agent Orange was elected and he chose someone else. Gorsuch, like Garland, seemed like a perfectly viable option... ...but the Dems won't vote for him because of the Garland thing, and because of that FBI thingy hanging over everyone's head. So...blah, blah, blah.... More fighting. Going nuclear (changing the rules) to get him through. I have an idea. Judge Judy!!! We can all agree on her, right??? J.J. Will make sure that some of the stupid in-fighting stops. Can't you just hear her telling Pelosi or Ryan to: "Put on your listening ears!!" Imagine what she'd do with Donny boy. "You aren't going golfing again! Get your ass back in that chair and do some work!! And stop with the stupid tweeting or whatever it is. You're embarras

Wanna' Bet?

So now we have the Las Vegas Raiders. That should go well. 54 football players in Vegas for games every other Sunday. What could go wrong? They're all so well-behaved. Yet, Roger Goodell (who maybe the 2nd most hated man in America) has reassured us all by saying: "The NFL isn't for gambling." Yeah. Right. I don't think anyone has ever bet on a football game, right? And those fantasy football leagues don't have anything to do with betting. Years and years ago my Dad infuriated me by always telling me that the NFL is fixed. "How do they get within a half-a-point of the Vegas line every week?" I thought Dad was crazy about such a vast conspiracy. "A billion dollars changes hands every weekend, and you think that's all left for chance?" I'm sure Dad was just pushing my buttons, but man, you get older, and you wonder. The Ravens win on Ray Lewis' last day? Wilson throws it at the one? Falcons drop

Bill O'Reilly

I used to listen to the Bill O'Reilly show every once in a blue moon. One of the things that was kind of impressive about it was that he turned talking politics into a big business. He usually takes some time during his show to plug his merchandise that can be purchased. Do people really buy a 'No-Spin' coffee cup? Yet, he seemed, early on, to be a personable guy and the show held my attention as I drove around. Then Howard Stern played a tape of O'Reilly dressing down a member of his staff because he didn't understand how they wanted him to end a show. He screamed, swore and embarrassed the staffer. "Oh, maybe not such a good guy." Then a story broke about his family. Then a sexual harassment settlement. Turns out that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's being reported now that Fox News has settled 5 sexual harassment claims through the years. If you work at Fox on the same shift as O'Reilly it appears that you're gonna

Just A Line In the News

In the middle of last week there was a press conference called to alert the citizens that a bad batch of heroin had resulted in seven deaths. A bad batch. As opposed to nice clean heroin. Like clean coal, I guess. Cut to Sunday and I flipped through the local section and there in the death notices were some of the names of those who died using the heroin. Average age was 32. Six men and one woman. Just gone. One of the obits noted that heroin was the cause. It was the first line... ...before the fact that he was loved by many. Brothers, sisters, Mom, Dad, nieces and nephews. All cast aside due to the need to get the drug into their body. It's a scary thing. Politicians are jumping all over it now, telling us all about how it has to stop. We've been fighting the war on drugs since the Reagan years. It's not going well. A bad batch. Indeed.

It's April Already

Funny but it seems that whenever the calendar flips to a new month there will be someone there to say:  "Damn! It's April already!" The days seem to fly by the older you get, and the years follow. One after another. Today is opening day! The year 2017 has kinda' been moving slowly though. A scandal every day, way too much news! Normally we don't think much about politics, or how the country is doing.. ...knowing that it will move along, whether or not we pay much attention. I have to admit that now I wake up on Saturday and Sunday wondering if something nasty broke over night. Like a bad tweet... ...then the reaction to it. Saturday morning it was all about the Russia scandal with Trump blaming Obama as the walls seemed to be closing in. "Who knows?" I said to Melky. She turned over, wagged her tail and went back to sleep. "Yankees play today!" I reminded her. That seemed to cheer her up a little...perhaps it was the

2017 Baseball Preview!

Have you caught any of the spring training news? You know what team has the best record ? Yeah. The 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized Sports. I've been following along and it really feels a lot like 1995 when the kids came up. The Yankees won 4 World Series in 5 years and with any luck, could've won about eight in a row. Well, the kids got old. So, Cashman retooled without ever slipping below .500. What do we have this year? National League East: This is a battle between the Mets and the Nationals. If the Mets pitching is great they will win, but pitchers are a fickle bunch. Matz is already hurt again. I take the Nationals with the Mets getting a Wild Card. National League Central: The Cubs. They won the world series, lost Chapman, but they are still good. I think they win about 95 and that's good enough for the title here. National League West: When the Yankees have the highest payroll that's all Yankees