Thoughts of a Common Man

The kids were at our home on Thanksgiving evening. Not just our kids either, but a couple of their friends. I sort of sat back and took in the scene. I had consumed a fairly healthy portion of food - my mother's stuffing being the highlight again - and I was content to sit there and listen. The same sort of stupid stuff we were doing as kids. The boys were talking sports, telling jokes and laughing. Once in awhile they'd ask me to chime in and I tried to make them laugh. Kathy was out shopping and I was just listening; thinking... your life is now . There were discussions about how the schooling was going. Matt was actually on the computer doing work of some sort. The high school age kids were talking about how they were gonna' own the world someday. As they should be. I know I've used these lyrics before, but they deserve to be repeated when you're thinking about the kids. Y our Life is Now - Mellencamp See the moon roll across the stars See the season

What's going on? It's been about a week since I've seen a photo of Kim Kardashian's ass. Not really missing it. 1). Man, the Bill Cosby story is out of control, huh? Who would've ever suspected it? If even half of the stories are true, or have even a shred of truth about them then he's a real creep, huh? Most of the dialogue goes like this: Women were captured by his fame, agreed to have a drink with him, then woke up to find him on them, or around them after they'd been assaulted in some manner. And then they never mentioned it again until this past week or so. Are they all conspiring to bring him down? Is he a completely innocent man? It's just really sad....another fallen hero. 2). I cringe to watch the news out of Ferguson as well. The answer to what one feels as blatant racism is to get yourself a new Apple product, I suppose....or to burn down your own town. I never really understood the destruction of your own environment

By now most everyone in Buffalo has read the excellent Buffalo News story written by Tim Graham about former Bills linebacker Darryl Talley. Talley is "Broken and Broke". People cheered Talley for his toughness. He was a good player on the Bills Super Bowl teams. He didn't miss work. He hit hard. He thinks he had his bell rung hundreds of times. He saw a little light show each time he took the huge hit. So. He knew the risks, right? He got paid great money. He's on his own after he retires. We all have problems. Except I have been screaming about the evils of the NFL for the better part of a couple of years. How many Darryl Talley's are there? Right now! Right now! Tony Romo is back in the line up after hearing that he had fractures in his back. The Cowboys are good this year. They need Romo to play. The docs said it'll be fine. The owner talks about Romo being tough. Romo eats it up. He's a competitor. The doc said he's good to

D.B. of the Week will return next week - there are plenty of candidates - In the meantime - Have a great Thanksgiving - here are a few quotes on the subject: "If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily." -Gerald Good "The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!" -Henry Ward Beecher "Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action." - W.J. Cameron "If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice." -Meister Eckhart "Praise God even when you don't understand what He is doing." -Henry Jacobsen "An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." -Irv Kupcinet "Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of

There are so many things that just sadden me about the Ferguson, Missouri news. I'm sad that Michael Brown had to die. And that Darren Wilson made the decision to shoot him. I'm also sad that some believe that Brown died simply because he was black. It's even worse that there are scores of people who don't believe or trust those who are there to supposedly protect. I'm sad that there are crooked cops, and men who rob stores. But what's even more sad is that those parents lost their child to what was a split-second decision made by their son as well as a split-second decision made by an officer of law. The wrong decision? Perhaps. A life and death decision? Obviously. A racially motivated one? Depends on where you sit. I'm very sad about the fact that the media initially reported non-truths and half-truths when the story initially broke in August. I have a feeling that irresponsible "reporting" had something to do with the

My Mom loves to smile. It's her birthday today and I hope she smiles all day long. Mom has taught me so many things and while I am prone to acting like Dad from time-to-time I inherited her personality. Which is mostly good! Mom is the reason I ever published a book. She taught me to love reading. Mom is also the reason I sing to my dogs and treat them as if they were human and truly understand everything I say to them. Mom's the reason why I work so hard. Dad was also a tireless worker too, but Mom never even let a sock hit the floor. It was washed, folded and back in the drawer almost immediately. And Mom has taught me to try and smile through the wicked parts of life. My faith mirrors her faith. Day after day. Suck it up and tough it out and do the best you can. My Mom taught me that. Happy Birthday. We love you. P.S. - Happy Birthday Johnny C. - you'll never get top billing on 11/25.

Everything that is built will most certainly one day crumble. That was on my mind as the storm passed through. We were at green grass. Then we were buried. We all watched from the window as the world of white outside was created. Flake by flake we had a brand new reality. And it's weird. All the things we take for granted were put on hold. Just getting up and running to the corner to rent a movie was impossible. And with this storm there was a real ebb and flow to it. We knew when we were getting more. We were told when it would stop. We would watch what had been built by cold air passing over a warm lake... ...come apart again. There was everything in play during the down time. Frustration was tempered by patience. Aggravation disappeared when Sam laughed or Jake showed me a video of a great hockey goal, or we watched another episode of Homeland . We were together and safe and still whole. Hopelessness was lost in the fact that there was still hop

Day 6 of operation stuck in my freaking home. It's weird, but people really hate the government most every day of the year, but man, when service is needed... The first thing our County Executive did was name the storm something really stupid - Storm Knife or something dumb like that. It didn't catch on. Then there were people worried about the people stranded in their cars along the Thruway...a perfectly reasonable response. There were folks stuck for days in their cars. I can't imagine. The main roads were cleared fairly quickly but the bans stayed in place so that the plows and emergency vehicles could start helping people clear themselves out. Here is what we saw of the plow... On Wednesday the plow came down the road...clearing snow...pushing it...into a virtual mountain...then stopped pushing it... ...yep, right in front of my house...where the plow got stuck. Huge plow. Stuck. The driver was screaming out his window. I decided that pushing his

My brother John is 51 years old today. Pretty weird to write that because he was the guy I hung around with most back when we were two and three. We were always together, then, of course, and while 'work to do and bills to pay' gets in the way...it's more about the time going quickly. That's what blows my mind about writing out the simple fact that he's 51 years old today. Seems fitting that we come up with a John story, right? Two things about my older brother: 1). He's always been waaaaayyyy stronger than me. Which wouldn't be so disconcerting if it weren't for fact #2. 2). He's always been waaaaayyyy faster than me. So, cut to a time when I was about 18 years old. John had been in the basement of my parents' home doing work on a project...not sure what it was ...I didn't stick around to find out. Unbeknownst to me John had been struggling to finish said project because the switch that controlled the lights to the ba

Every time there's a major snow event you hear the horror stories. People stuck in their cars. Men dropping dead as they try and clear the snow out of their driveways. We all want the ability to move freely. When it is suddenly taken away from us we lose it...and do things we maybe shouldn't be doing. I remember a few years ago when the woman across the way was out trying to shovel in front of her garage...we're talking three to five feet... "I have to get to my hair appointment," she said. The woman knew Moses. I'm talking...in her 90's. "There's no hair appointment today," I said. She was an absolute mess, but I got her back into the house where she waited out the storm. Now everyone knows that I'm a cautious guy...I'm a safety man, for crying out loud...not to mention a giant wimp... But I don't take that one chance that is gonna bite me. The snow will melt eventually, right? (I'm not sure with thi

Seems like this one was a long-time-coming. Good old Jello-pudding-Bill has allegedly been a real D.B. for the better part of his adult life. And what galls me about it is that he is also a preacher of sorts. Cosby has spent a lot of time telling us how to be good parents, telling black people how to rise out of poverty, telling other comedians not to swear... ...and in the meantime he's been mentoring young girls and reportedly being sexually deviant with them. Allegedly. Of course, a lot of this stuff happened a while ago, or so those who are making the accusations say. Still, Cosby has spent the week saying that he won't dignify such charges with a response. And perhaps he shouldn't because he has never been officially charged in the matter (that I know of), but the whole thing stinks. Once again because Cosby has spent his life telling us how to live. I don't know if what they're saying is true. Another comedian made the claim during a comedy

The view of the backyard - this was taken before expected round two - where a whole lot of snow is supposed to pile on top. Poor Paris. She was just looking for a spot to pee. The front yard. How in the hell are we supposed to move this? Where should we put it? Unbelievable. Simply unreal.

Woke up to a dusting of snow on Saturday morning. On Sunday the driveway was a sheet of ice and there was a report going around that we were going to see from one to two feet of snow between Monday evening and Wednesday morning. "Don't fret," I remarked on one Facebook post. "It's only for 8 months of so." Then I added: "If our sports teams weren't awesome we'd all be leaving this area." You know... ...My usual aggravation-inducing-crap. But truthfully, I was in a deep sense of dread. I go out in the stuff on a daily basis. My toes get cold. My hands freeze. The driving sucks. Worrying about the kids getting home in a blizzard is brutal. Who needs it? And I dream of a day when I will be in Arizona when the big snow hits. I'll be worried about setting up a tee time as my Western New York friends are shoveling snow. On that same Facebook post, of course, there were comments by people who said: "I love the snow!

So, we have a dog living with Addison's disease. You'd never know it. Since her little expensive trip to the vets Paris has done her usual dancing around the house. She's always awake, always ready for the trips in the car. But we knew it was coming. She'd have to get a shot that would keep her jumping up and down - doing the 'Pair-Pair'. Of course, care of all things living in this house comes down to the resident nurse. My beautiful wife was going to have to get the medicine, read the overviews and finally, administer the shot. That was the course of action that 'we' decided on and I almost stepped in a huge pile when I said: "Are you sure you can give her the shot?" That would sort of be like her asking me if I could write a five-page paper. "I give shots every day. I've given thousands of them. Of course I can give it to her." Still, I was nervous for the dog. I don't know all the other people she has t

The whole Kim Kardashian nude photos story has people talking. Is she disgusting? Is she without talent? Is the photo real? Well, let me tell you. I have a story about what these 'stars' look like up close. My beautiful wife never really goes with me to book signings or talks or events. She went to the first couple and laughed when I spoke, but then the jokes got old to her. So I was on my own. "I've heard your shit," she said. Except for two events. The first was an event where the former Buffalo Sabres gathered. We spent a large part of that evening talking to Pat LaFontaine, Gilbert Perrault, Jim Lorentz and Craig Ramsey. Kathy has photos with each and she wore Rammer's Stanley Cup ring for about half the evening. "What if she steals it?" I asked Ramsey as we drank at the bar. "I'll just beat the hell out of you," he answered. The second event was a book launch party in Miami for House of Miracles . "We'

Sometimes you pick up the newspaper and read a story that's just way too much to comprehend because you can put yourself there, within the story, and feel the true heartbreak. The story that broke mid-week about the 18-year old, first year college student from Buffalo was like that. The total story hasn't come out yet, but there has been wide speculation that Nolan Burch died after drinking too much at a West Virginia University frat party. God Bless his poor family. Yet there was so much that went through my mind as I read it all through in the Buffalo News . I have three boys hanging around these parts. I know how they will be pressed into possibly drinking when we are not around. It scares the hell out of me because I also know that I was smack dab in the middle of that sort of thing back about 30 years ago. It's rough. Where to begin? I drank a lot in college. We had a great time and I wouldn't change much about the experience. Was I stupid? Un

I really didn't want to do this because it is exactly what Kim wants me to do: Talk about her massive ass. First off, I don't believe it. I've seen photos of this girl just walking around the streets. Her ass isn't that big. That photo looks like a cartoon. Like when Bugs hits someone with a hammer and the body part swells up to huge proportions. Yet what got me writing about it was a simple question that was posed to me on Facebook. Do men find this attractive? I tried my best to avoid answering the question by saying: "I'm an ass man. When I walk down the street people say, 'he's an ass, man.'" That's an old Rodney Dangerfield joke and it has served me well through the years, but the fine woman of Facebook wouldn't let me off the hook. You didn't answer the question. So, men...is it attractive? I answered by saying that it was 'interesting.' Still not good enough. I then tried to say that 'me

So... Have you been able to get a glance of Kim Kardashian's huge, oiled up butt on the cover of that magazine? It's crazy that she's a bazzillionaire while we toil in relative obscurity, isn't it? Starting to get back into the routine after my trip out of Western New York and again I have a whole bunch of observations about people in general to share with you: 1). Small talk is miserable with total strangers. "So where you from?" "What do you do?" I have learned to avoid a lot of it on planes by simply putting on my headphones and closing my eyes. I really don't want to go over all of it. As luck might have it, the mid-50's guy and the mid-40's lady seated across the aisle from me were all about exchanging their information. The lady was so animated about what she did and why she was important to all workings of society that I had to turn up the volume on my i-pod just to tune out her excited chatter. You'd think he

I know a lot of people who watch NASCAR. I'm a fan of the sport for one day - the day of the Daytona 500 - and each year I vow to follow the standings a little more, but I never do. People say that baseball is boring, but man, so is watching cars go around in a circle for hours and hours. We are waiting for the crashes. These days we are also waiting for the fights. I don't really know much about this Kurt Busch dude, but it seems that every time I hear his name it has something to do with him being a D.B. Fighting with other drivers. Getting suspended. Arguing about rules or etiquette. And now, he's under suspicion for allegedly beating up his girlfriend. Busch supposedly rammed her head against a wall. They broke up, but somehow or another they were still together at the track. An argument started and it ended when he allegedly hammered her. D.B. Of course this particular offense is troublesome. Ray Rice flattened his girlfriend. I suppose that

I had to hit the road for a couple of days. Back to Kansas City where they are still pissing and moaning about the World Series loss. I had to bring it up to the guys I know out there, but being from Buffalo they quickly reminded me that the Chiefs had just beat the Bills. So, that lost a bit of steam. Yet traveling around is not good for diet, rest, or my ability to tolerate total strangers. Shall we recap? I went to a Mexican Restaurant for lunch on Monday. A huge burrito. The guy who was with me asked me if I had ever tried fried ice cream. God it's good. Of course that night I had to get a good Kansas City steak. That was served with a couple of florets of broccoli so I was feeling good. This is crazy, I thought. I need to eat better or I'm going to weight 700 pounds by the time this trip is over. And I almost made it. I had fruit for breakfast the next morning. I skipped lunch. And then I walked around the Detroit airport looking for something

It's weird but I often speak about San Francisco around our house. I always say the same thing: "It's the most beautiful city in the country." Of course, my wife and kids look at me a little strange as they have other thoughts about the city. They think of the 49ers or the Giants or gays. The outside perception doesn't always match. Yet I remember writing a letter back home to an old college friend and telling her that "everywhere you look there's a post card." The view from the Golden Gate bridge, of course, being extremely post card worthy. Yet there are two distinct stories that I recall about that bridge. 1). I arrived in San Francisco with my mother. Dad picked us up at the airport and just for a couple of weeks we were the only three out there. College had ended for me in May and the plan was for me to stay with Dad for a few weeks until the rest of the kids were done with school. We were driving across the bridge in the old Fo

Saw a statement attributed to Willie Nelson. Supposedly he said that the song America the Beautiful used to make him feel patriotic. He sings a beautiful rendition of it. He said that now it makes him a little sick to his stomach. Homeland is a fictional show. The plot line covers a bombing of a school in the Middle East where a lot of innocent children died. It's fictional, to be sure, but if you think a little, it makes you sick to think that it has somewhere happened in real life. Newsflash: America isn't always right when it comes to war. The recent elections threw the Democrats aside. That's sort of inconsequential because as I looked at the map as to how folks voted I was sure of one thing: There's a tremendous difference in thinking between the red and blue. The united part of it all seems a bit impossible. The hate between the two parties of people - who are actually on the same side of things, or are supposed to be - is real. That's a bit of

So, Karen sold her copy of Waldorf & Juli. My cousin Maryann bought it the other day, from an Internet site. Since I once sold it to Karen at least my beautiful cousin didn't pay too much to get her hands on it. Seems Karen wasn't thrilled having a signed copy. But...it got me thinking. Where did this Karen, who I certainly don't recall, see me? I went to my trusty journal for the day. August 13, 1997. Jake was just two months old. I had just quit my job of 8 years to take the same job that I have now. We were newly married. We were looking for a house. I was playing a lot of video games with Matt as we tried to figure out how to handle the two kids and the dog. Waldorf & Juli was off to a stunning start. A lot of copies were being sold. The Buffalo News had run a huge feature story. I was showing up all over to do book signings. I remember those days well, of course. My Uncle Lenny had commented: "A book, a wife and kids all

That's a real bunker. I set off to a job way the hell out there in a town called Youngstown. There are hundreds and hundreds of acres that are sort of just sitting out there now. The United States Army had previously used the land for the training of soldiers. I was on the property because one of my contractors is in the process of taking down a few buildings. We walked around a little and one of the site people filled me in a bit on some of the history including setting off missiles, the training grounds, and he even took me into one of the bunkers that had been used to store some things. All really cool stuff. "I like this sort of history," I said to a friend of mine who was along for the tour. "Yeah, you'd have been a hell of a soldier," he commented. We both laughed. Because we know how poorly I would have fared in such an environment. "Your platoon leader would give you an instruction and you'd break down why it seems like

My week has been made a lot less enjoyable by one simple fact: I can't send out an email from my home office. Sound like fun? It started on Monday. I gathered the 15 emails I needed to send, loaded them on a flash drive, went to Kinko's and sent them. It continued on Tuesday. Time Warner was consulted and you all know how helpful they are. "You should be set," I was told. Didn't work. I gathered the 18 emails I needed to send, loaded them on a flash drive, went to Kinko's and sent them. We tried some fixes. "I fixed it!" Kathy said on Wednesday. I wrote a whole bunch of reports. It didn't work. I gathered the 22 emails I needed to send, loaded them on a flash drive, went to Kinko's and sent them. By Thursday there were no more problems. "You have to log on a different way, but no problems." I wrote my reports, happy that there were no more trips to Kinko's. It didn't work. I gathered the 1

Recently I was reading the good Stephen King novel: Mr. Mercedes. In the story the villain was plotting to poison a dog. Never mind that the same villain had killed people early on, I was upset that he just might kill the dog. It drove me nuts for a lot of pages. Cut to Tuesday morning and the City section of the Buffalo News. There was a story about 15 dogs on the side of the road in Arcade. 15 dogs! Just dumped there like garbage. 6 of the dogs were less than 2 months old. The rest of the dogs were adult dogs...all beautiful animals... ...just discarded. I have a couple of friends who post photos of dogs that need rescuing. I know others who actually participate and take in the dogs until they are able to find suitable homes. Then there are others. Real D.B.'s, of course. Straight up miserable excuses for human beings who beat, kill, abuse, discard and torture defenseless animals. How freaking low can you go? As I write these words my two dogs are

I took up following Charles Buckowski on Twitter. He was the author who wrote a whole bunch of books while absolutely hammered. His biggest claim to fame was the book and movie, Barfly. I read a lot of his stuff through the years and I'm happy to see his thoughts, from beyond the grave, now, on Twitter. He speaks a lot about the writing process and how impossible it is not to write. I get that, boy! I've been working on a few things...I always am, truthfully. I keep the ideas at the front of my mind as I go through the day and if I'm clearheaded some of the plot will come to me as I drive, or climb a ladder, or listen to my beautiful wife tell me about her day. It's always sitting right there. Yet...there are moments when it becomes discouraging as well. When the plot gets stuck in the mud and you aren't sure where to go. That was happening with me so I went outside the haunted house that is my head and sent the story thus far to a couple of fai

So, how many phone calls have you received lately? Dopes asking you to consider voting for them because they're better than the other dopes. I'll vote, of course, but I can't say that I'm all fired up about it. I get news fatigue to be honest: Like with this Ebola nurse, Kaci Hickox. We all know who she is, right? She is refusing to be quarantined despite the fact that there have been others who've come down with the disease when they believed they were clear. She's trying to tell all of America to shut the hell up. She knows she's fine. Well, let's hope that she is...but you're telling me that you can't lay low for three weeks? Three weeks away from everyone seems like a great idea. What about Brittany Manyard? She died over the weekend...because she had the right to die and she did it to stay clear of the misery that brain cancer would bring her. Everyone is wondering if that's a thing that needs to be considered for

I'm a big Chris Rock fan. I also really enjoy stand-up comedy. Chris Rock opened up Saturday Night Live this week with a few jokes that touched on subjects that really tend to ratchet people up: Terrorism - 9/11 and the Boston Marathon Religion - commercializing Christmas Guns - We shouldn't own a race car. Well, judging by the reactions of some people you would've thought that Chris Rock said that he was for terrorism, hated Jesus, and wanted every single gun out of every single hand. He didn't. In fact, comedy is such a thing...it's making the routine seem ridiculous...it's making the absurd seem normal...it's about exaggerating...it's about talking about what people don't wanna' talk about...it's about feeling uncomfortable as you're listening. I had absolutely no problem with the monologue. I laughed at a number of the jokes. But man, there were a lot of people, 'up in arms' so to speak. That's what

There's a moment in the day when it all settles down. The best hour for me is between 6 p.m. and 7 p.m. - I hang with the boys a little. We argue sports and we catch a little television. Well, we stumbled on a game show called Celebrity Name Game and since it's hosted by Craig Ferguson, who is a funny dude, we got sucked in to watching it. We've laughed out loud each night. "The whole hour goes fast," Sam said. It does, but it's also an hour that I have started to cherish because Sam doesn't hold anything back when he laughs and it makes me laugh to hear him laugh. Jake and Kathy have also watched the show with us...and they've laughed as well. So...good times. Anyway, I was on Twitter when I saw Courtney Cox had a post about something. I knew she was the executive producer of the show so I typed a few words. "We enjoy Celebrity Name Game. It's a funny show." Or something like that. She responded: "Thank you

Did you happen to see the poor slob who presented the car to the Giants Madison Bumgarner after game 7 of the World Series? The guy looked like Rob Ford. He spoke like Chris Farley when he was doing the motivational speaker skit on SNL. He was sweating. He was looking down at his note cards. He was a bumbling... ...stumbling... ...dope. (I wish I knew how to attach a YouTube video, but I don't. Look it up. I can't do everything). Yet the guy was from Chevrolet. He was handed the mic as the commish, Bumgarner Erin Andrews and millions of others looked on. Then he flat-out made an ass of himself with his inability to speak. And it's always made me real uncomfortable to watch a bad speaker. I always, always, always want to be the guy on the microphone. I absolutely love it, actually. (My wife says I'm an attention whore). Yet I think it's fun to make a roomful of people laugh. I was at a wedding recently when the best man absolutely killed