Stop!

-

Stop asking me questions on the gas pump screen!

I don’t want a car wash. I don’t want to sign up for your bonus card. I don’t want to come in and let you know how Hector is doing.

I want gas!

Stop.

Stop sending me an email request after I come to your establishment so I can acknowledge how great your service is.

You go to CVS for toothpaste and not only do you get a 20’ long receipt, you can also fill out a survey to rate how clean the freaking store was.

I don’t have time.

Stop.

Stop playing the “I stink horrifically ads on television.”

There’s one where a woman comes on and is in my face about how horrible her crotch and butt stench is as the day goes along.

She’s the one who uses the word “crotch”.

Horrible. I was eating lunch in front of the television the other day and there she was…

…Stinking up the joint.

This is an oldie but a good one.

Stop coming by the table, just after the food is served to ask us how “our first bites are tasting.”

I’m chewing here!

If there was a problem, after you put the food down, we’d search you out.

It’s like they’re coming by to make certain that you’ve bitten into the saliva they hid in your sandwich.

Stop raining on Sunday morning!

Had a tee time today.

Torrential downpours coming.

Stop!

I have so little.

5 good hours between 8 & 1 on a Sunday is all I ask.

Just

Freaking

Stop.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suits

-
Like a lot of other people we got pulled into the series, ‘Suits’ on Netflix. I’ve never had much fun hanging around lawyers who have questioned me as a construction safety officer. I once testified in a case where the opposing lawyer started questioning me by going through my educational background. “So,” he said, racing to a crescendo, “You graduated from college with a degree in Communications-Journalism and suddenly, 30 years later, you’re a ‘safety expert.’” He actually made the quotation marks with his fingers. I just looked at him. “How does that happen?” He bellowed, sure that he was going to discredit me. “Well,” I said. “I knew I was overqualified to become a lawyer.” The courtroom erupted in laughter. Even the judge chuckled. The rest of his questions landed flat. So, I wasn’t all that keen on a show about lawyers, but ‘Suits’ is great. Meghan Markle became a princess because of the show, and she is very good in it (and a beautiful woman). Yet, there is so much more. The wri
Read more

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I bet you tha
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C’mon, Oliver,”
Read more