I Won't Need It
Late last week I sat in front of the surgeon who will finally settle down and take an instrument into my left hip and friggin' fix it.
"Have you finally had enough?" he asked.
"Yeah," I answered. "Let's do it."
For those of you trying to keep score. I hurt my hip on January 30, 2012. It was just two months after my second knee surgery in six months.
So essentially I have been banged up since early in 2011.
When people I haven't seen in awhile run into me they don't even know what to ask about:
"How's the knee, back, hip, ass, whatever?"
The kids don't know me without either a heating pad or an ice pack somewhere on my body.
I refused to take the time off of work to fix everything.
I'm actually still not convinced.
Have you finally had enough?
When the car barreled into me at the stop sign I felt neck, back and groin pain. I got through the neck and back pain, but the groin pain never went away.
Not for a minute.
Think 18 months with a constant groin pull.
I can't lift my left leg high enough to put my foot on a stool.
By Wednesday I'm a stumbling fool. I sometimes count the hours until Saturday morning.
And yet I climb.
Up and down ladders.
Across scaffold.
Onto rooftops.
And I bring all of this up, not to whine, or show you how tough I am, but to bring around my entire thought process on it.
When I'm done with this body it's not going to be effective for even scrap parts.
I know some guys who nurture and sculpt their bodies.
They eat right.
They do cardio.
They jog.
They get regular rest.
If they feel a twinge they sit down somewhere until it all subsides.
I'm not of that mindset, I suppose.
"Did you think of being an organ-donor?" someone once asked me.
I can't do that to some poor son-of-a-bitch.
I'm wearing it out one muscle at a time.
Wish me luck.
They say 3-6 weeks on crutches. 4-8 months to full recovery.
"How many days after surgery will he climb a ladder?" Sam asked Jake.
"He's an idiot," Jake answered.
(The good money is at 3-5 days).
In a little while I won't need this body at all anymore.
I'll drift off high over the grape fields, laughing.
Knowing that I left it all out there.
That's the plan.
"Have you finally had enough?" he asked.
"Yeah," I answered. "Let's do it."
For those of you trying to keep score. I hurt my hip on January 30, 2012. It was just two months after my second knee surgery in six months.
So essentially I have been banged up since early in 2011.
When people I haven't seen in awhile run into me they don't even know what to ask about:
"How's the knee, back, hip, ass, whatever?"
The kids don't know me without either a heating pad or an ice pack somewhere on my body.
I refused to take the time off of work to fix everything.
I'm actually still not convinced.
Have you finally had enough?
When the car barreled into me at the stop sign I felt neck, back and groin pain. I got through the neck and back pain, but the groin pain never went away.
Not for a minute.
Think 18 months with a constant groin pull.
I can't lift my left leg high enough to put my foot on a stool.
By Wednesday I'm a stumbling fool. I sometimes count the hours until Saturday morning.
And yet I climb.
Up and down ladders.
Across scaffold.
Onto rooftops.
And I bring all of this up, not to whine, or show you how tough I am, but to bring around my entire thought process on it.
When I'm done with this body it's not going to be effective for even scrap parts.
I know some guys who nurture and sculpt their bodies.
They eat right.
They do cardio.
They jog.
They get regular rest.
If they feel a twinge they sit down somewhere until it all subsides.
I'm not of that mindset, I suppose.
"Did you think of being an organ-donor?" someone once asked me.
I can't do that to some poor son-of-a-bitch.
I'm wearing it out one muscle at a time.
Wish me luck.
They say 3-6 weeks on crutches. 4-8 months to full recovery.
"How many days after surgery will he climb a ladder?" Sam asked Jake.
"He's an idiot," Jake answered.
(The good money is at 3-5 days).
In a little while I won't need this body at all anymore.
I'll drift off high over the grape fields, laughing.
Knowing that I left it all out there.
That's the plan.
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