Nobody

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One of the cool things about being a parent is you get to share a lot of the old jokes and stories with the boys. I can distinctly recall my brothers, sisters and I sitting around listening to my father's old jokes - they are jokes I still tell to anyone I meet.

It's also crazy to think about what re-enters your mind years later, and that is one of the reasons why I always banter back and forth with the boys. I remember one night when my father put on the old show - Tiny Talent Time - and he sat around making fun of the contestants.

In any regard, my best time to bust the chops of my kids is first thing in the morning - I can't wait to wake them up and mess with them. One of the running jokes we share is the fact that they have to attend Art, Gym, and Religious Ed.

I drive both Jake and Sam crazy with questions about their friends, Art, Jim and Ed. Always adding - "Ed is that religious boy, right?"

I wish I had a nickel for every time that Sam has tried to argue that Art, Jim, and Ed don't exist, but that they are classes they are taking. I act befuddled - and the next morning, ask again. Just a friendly game that drives them crazy.

What's even worse is when I ask them about girls in their class. This was an actual exchange between Sam and I where he nearly popped a blood vessel.

Me: So what girl do you love?
Sam: Nobody
Me: That's a strange name - What does Nobody look like?
Sam: Nobody is just nobody!
Me: What was she wearing?
Sam: Uh! Nothing!
Me: She was naked?
Sam: Mom!

After teasing him in this manner for a little while, I tried my question again.

Me: So what girl do you love?
Sam: (In deep thought) Just Mom.
Me: That's my wife, you rat! Get your own girl!
Sam: Then nobody! I don't love nobody.
Me: I thought you told me earlier that you loved nobody.
Sam: Please, please, stop! Mom!

Kathy: Knock if off, you idiot.

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