Nobody

-
One of the cool things about being a parent is you get to share a lot of the old jokes and stories with the boys. I can distinctly recall my brothers, sisters and I sitting around listening to my father's old jokes - they are jokes I still tell to anyone I meet.

It's also crazy to think about what re-enters your mind years later, and that is one of the reasons why I always banter back and forth with the boys. I remember one night when my father put on the old show - Tiny Talent Time - and he sat around making fun of the contestants.

In any regard, my best time to bust the chops of my kids is first thing in the morning - I can't wait to wake them up and mess with them. One of the running jokes we share is the fact that they have to attend Art, Gym, and Religious Ed.

I drive both Jake and Sam crazy with questions about their friends, Art, Jim and Ed. Always adding - "Ed is that religious boy, right?"

I wish I had a nickel for every time that Sam has tried to argue that Art, Jim, and Ed don't exist, but that they are classes they are taking. I act befuddled - and the next morning, ask again. Just a friendly game that drives them crazy.

What's even worse is when I ask them about girls in their class. This was an actual exchange between Sam and I where he nearly popped a blood vessel.

Me: So what girl do you love?
Sam: Nobody
Me: That's a strange name - What does Nobody look like?
Sam: Nobody is just nobody!
Me: What was she wearing?
Sam: Uh! Nothing!
Me: She was naked?
Sam: Mom!

After teasing him in this manner for a little while, I tried my question again.

Me: So what girl do you love?
Sam: (In deep thought) Just Mom.
Me: That's my wife, you rat! Get your own girl!
Sam: Then nobody! I don't love nobody.
Me: I thought you told me earlier that you loved nobody.
Sam: Please, please, stop! Mom!

Kathy: Knock if off, you idiot.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I be...
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C...
Read more

Eyes on the Horizon

-
Image
My sister’s book is out there! Go get it!! It makes me so proud to see the book on Amazon, knowing that it’s very, very great! It’s been a long, long time since we were out in California, brainstorming my stories long before they were published. Carrie Lynn was writing, writing and writing some more through the years and I kept telling her… …”Go for it!” Well, she did!  To amazing results. Of course I was able to read the book as it was being put together, but I ordered a copy from Amazon yesterday and can’t wait to read it again. The shoe is on the other foot now as I have been sitting on a lot of my writing lately. I plan on getting it out there before the end of 2024, but for now: Carrie takes center stage! And it’s so great… …go get a copy!
Read more