Give Me My Freaking Kidney Back

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They say that breaking up is hard to do, but the news story out today about the doctor in New York who wants his kidney back has to about take the cake.

In case you haven't read about it, the guy gave a kidney to his sick wife back about seven years ago. He woke up after the operation more in love than ever, and slowly but surely, his wife returned to full health - so much so - that she cheated on her husband.

The poor guy was devastated by the betrayal, and in the middle of the proceedings, he decided that he wanted his kidney back, or at least $1.5 million in compensation.

Sounds about right. He sort of has her over a barrel don't you think? She isn't really in the position where she can say - "Fine keep your friggen' kidney," now can she?

I'm not sure what draws me into the story more - was it the fact that he felt so betrayed? Is it the idea that her cheating has allowed him to see that her death, without his working kidney, wouldn't be so horrible after all?

I suppose that the real scary thing about all of it is that relationships do seem to go that way - say what - about sixty or seventy percent of the time now.

I was all excited about a recent article that ran in the news that said divorce rates were dropping rapidly in Western New York. The romantic in me kind of smiled at the news until I read the article.

You know why the rates are dropping?

Because the couples can't afford the lawyers, splitting up the home, and the child support payments. Couples are staying together for the simple reason that it costs too much not to. Try writing a song about that.

Anyway, even though marriage was the worst financial move I ever made, I'm not about to lose a kidney over it and if I did, I'd let Kathy keep it in the split.

It's simply amazing, however, that someone can even dream up the idea to take the kidney back. How's that conversation go?

Her: "I get the coffee table, the Springsteen CD's, and the drapes we hung in the living room."

Him: "Sounds good, but you have to give me what I want."

Her: "What would you like?"

Him: "Just my f%$#*ing kidney back."

Her: "You can keep the coffee table."

Seems like I say this about three times a week - God help us all.

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