Thoughts of a Common Man

The walls of a hospital break down all of the barriers and bullshit veils that we use to get ourselves through the "normal" days. It is a place where egos are displaced (hopefully) and where people come together to offer their love. The Woman and Children's Hospital of Buffalo showed me such love about seven years ago, and I am feeling much of the same love now at Mercy Hospital in South Buffalo. And once again, I marvel at the dedication of a staff of people who's job it is to work with all of the patients and their families. The lesson of love being broken down and handed over is not lost on me. Yesterday I gazed out the window and watched the traffic flowing by, oblivious to my pain and the emergency in our lives. The longer I looked out the window the more convinced I became that the chase for the usual things was just such an epic waste of time, but that's what happens in situations such as this. Yet I thought of the people who read this blog and share my lif...

Second by second and minute by minute, I feel the love of a thousand close friends and a family so close and so full of love that nothing else matters other than the threat to one of our own. Hour by hour and day by day we figure out what it means to be alive and go from the valley floor to the mountain top and sometimes back again at roller coaster, break-neck speeds. All of life is present in the span of the tiny period of time that usually makes up a day. Each laugh is more pronounced. Every tear that sticks in your throat, threatens to close off your mind. And the body responds with a strength that hides until it is truly needed. That the Lord provides the strength in such moments is the true miracle of it all, and that such a strength lives inside of us is the clear and present presence of something so strong and so unworldly that we wonder why we don't tap into it more and more during the routine spinning of the days. Second by second, my brother recovers. Moment by moment th...

...rears it's ugly side. My brother needs your prayers. Jeff suffered a brain bleed and right now, I'm calling on every reader I have - I'm Counting on a Miracle again. Love, faith, hope. Come on - help us.

Allrightythen - catch-up time: --- The Super Bowl is this week and the Bills aren't in it. In fact, they were replaying their loss to the Giants the other night and I thought it might be cool to watch it again, but knowing the heartbreak of that ending, I couldn't stomach it. Thankfully, I don't have the same fever for football anymore, so I will never be left at the altar like that again. With that being said... here you go Sterlinghouse - Steelers 35 Cardinals 21 - enjoy another championship, but don't you think you're getting a little hoggy with it now? --- Caroline Kennedy bows out. What will the family do for money now that she's out of a job? --- Rush says he hopes that Obama's policies fail. Geez, even for all of my distaste for the last disaster of a president, I never hoped he'd fail. I didn't agree, but I was kind of rooting for him. Al Franken titled his book, "Rush Limbaugh is a big, fat idiot." I thought it was a funny title, t...

At the Inauguration I watched Stevie Wonder perform. I was simply in awe of the way he sang, played the piano, went to the harmonica, and moved his head from side-to-side while keeping the crowd in a frenzy. I thought of the fact that I can't pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time. And he's blind! As I walked into the Awards Ceremony at the New England Book Festival, I felt really out of place - first off, I had decent clothes on and I hardly ever wear those, but not to disappoint, I wore tennis shoes with the dress pants. You expected perfection? There was a man in the corner of the room playing the guitar, song after song, strumming the notes perfectly. He wasn't singing, just setting the mood. I marveled at how talented he was. Three minutes later, I was talking with True Crime author M. William Phelps. I had read three or four of his books, and we immediately hit it off, discussing characters, the fact that we both hated the DaVinci Code , and how difficult it ...

The humble will be exalted and the exalted will be humbled. I've always loved that quote and have tried to remember it from day-to-day. Yet the problem with writing books is that you need to self-advertise from time-to-time. It's the absolute worst thing about the writing life. Think of it, and consider why most writers are a little off. You work on something, completely alone, for months and months. Through it all you tell yourself that it's the greatest thing ever written, but you counter that with bouts of - this is complete garbage. Months - maybe years -later you put it out there and before it even gets by the editor, you have to swing into self-promotion mode. You have to explain why you sat alone in your room,for hours on end, to tell a story that maybe no one would want to, or ever have the chance to read. And in your mind, you try and stay stable, and if people like it, humble. I'm attending the New England Book Festival because Nobody's Home won a bit of ...

New York State is huge and I've learned that the hard way through the years; driving most of it on a rather routine basis. I know a lot of good places to eat, though - go figure. This week I was in between Geneva and Watkins Glen when I remembered a gas station/diner that served actual hot lunches that were certainly better than what Mickey D's has to offer. It's a real bonus to watch your lunch actually being prepared. The place was empty except for the two middle-aged women behind the counter. They were in the middle of a conversation about the daughter of the full-bodied woman at the grill. "So, I told her, you're sixteen, you're pregnant, and that piece of crap ain't going to help you." It was about then that the other woman noticed me. "Can I help you?" I ordered a cheeseburger, and the big woman tossed it onto the hot grill, and returned to her conversation about her daughter. "So these kids are 16 and they're going to raise a ...

One of the cool things about being a parent is you get to share a lot of the old jokes and stories with the boys. I can distinctly recall my brothers, sisters and I sitting around listening to my father's old jokes - they are jokes I still tell to anyone I meet. It's also crazy to think about what re-enters your mind years later, and that is one of the reasons why I always banter back and forth with the boys. I remember one night when my father put on the old show - Tiny Talent Time - and he sat around making fun of the contestants. In any regard, my best time to bust the chops of my kids is first thing in the morning - I can't wait to wake them up and mess with them. One of the running jokes we share is the fact that they have to attend Art, Gym, and Religious Ed. I drive both Jake and Sam crazy with questions about their friends, Art, Jim and Ed. Always adding - "Ed is that religious boy, right?" I wish I had a nickel for every time that Sam has tried to argue t...

Obama's message was concise and clear. Since he's emerged on the scene, he hasn't had much of a problem bumbling and stumbling over his words like his predecessor. And yet, there must be more behind the message then just fancy rhetoric. The idea of choosing hope over fear is a good one, but there will be plenty of people available to caution that having a sense of fear and diligence in this already changed world, is a good idea. The festivity of the inaugural celebration can not overshadow the problems of the day however. Obama taking the big seat behind the big desk will not be a cure-all for what ails the country, and that is what appears to be a bit scary about the hundreds of thousands of people who made the trip to watch history being made. If Obama feels like he's being set up to fail, he isn't showing much fear. Only hope. Yet there are plenty of people who see his election as the thing that will save their lives. Maybe so, but if you didn't want to work ...

My first step out of the car was into a job site where the wind was whipping pretty good and although it was about 15 degrees (which was a heat wave after last week), cold air ruled the day. I ran smack into an acquaintance who is all about his right to shoot his gun, the need to blow all Muslims off the map, and terror alerts across the land. "Merry Martin Luther King Day," he said. "Or is it Happy Martin Luther Day." "Either way," I said. "I'm sure you're thrilled with it." "You have to be in your glory with all this talk about dreams, love, peace, and happiness," he said. "Pretty soon we'll have an Obama day too." "Man, you're wound up," I said. "How can I not be? Peace, love and understanding," he mocked. "The change is in the air. Let's see what love can do." My friend's sarcasm wasn't entirely lost on me. He had argued that with the change in leadership, America w...

Caught the Clint Eastwood movie, Gran Torino , last night. The man does his job well. I've actually enjoyed his later movies more than I ever liked the Dirty Harry stuff. Yet, there were moments when, through the laughter, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and it's because Eastwood's character had lived his life, only to wind up alone, a bitter man, aggravated about everything. I'm only 44 and I'm almost there. Everyone in the theatre was laughing too and I imagine its because we've all had such thoughts, and we see ourselves in the character. Yet I've known for some time that being right all the time has its downside. My wife hung a button on the file cabinet on my desk - I can see it from every vantage point - that says - "Those who think they know everything annoy those of us who do." I'm sure that I've annoyed others - particularly now that we are snowed in the house for what might be the rest of time - and knowing that things need to ...

That pilot certainly did a remarkable job putting that plane down gently in the Hudson River. Good old Sully should be congratulated for doing his job perfectly and sparing the lives of all those people. Remarkable, actually, and he has been humble since the landing, not looking for glory, just behaving like a solid professional. Makes you wonder about those guys who spike the football and do a dance after scoring - what would we have thought had Sully escaped the cockpit and did the Icky Shuffle? Couple questions, though - a flock of geese can take down two engines? Can we put a barrier up to keep the geese from getting to the engines? Why didn't the Wright Brothers account for such a happenstance? Seems to me it should be correctable, but then again, I can't even get the hang of pulling my nail clippers out of my carry-on bag. Then the human element - when the plane is dropping and the captain is saying 'brace for impact,' what goes through your mind? Most everyone wa...

"I can't believe you're watching him," my wife said as I settled in to watch W's farewell speech last night. Yet I was thinking that I would see a real human moment - a moment when, while walking away, the guard would come down and perhaps the guy everyone wanted to drink a beer with, would cop to the problems that we were having, and overcome by sadness, he would try and make amends. Instead, it was a canned speech that, if you weren't paying attention, you'd think that the two presidential terms just completed were the greatest ever. We've brought Democracy to the world, we've handled the AIDS epidemic, we fought back the terrorists, economically we've made sound decisions, torture is necessary.... blah, blah... blah - I didn't see a human moment, just more arrogance, fear-mongering, and that stupid smirk that appears on his face every time he gets a complete sentence out. "What did you think?" my wife asked when it was over. ...

I was absolutely dreading a 6 AM meeting with a long-standing client. I tried to get the meeting changed to a more reasonable hour, telling the owner that I needed to watch cartoons while getting dressed for work, but he didn't buy it. So, I arrived 15 minutes early, still shaking sleep from my mind, and chugging a cup of coffee. I entered the work shop and nearly ran smack into an 85-year-old man who was helping out in the shop. There was a small space-heater at his feet, but it wasn't doing much, if you ask me. The weatherman had been calling for sub-zero temps, and I was actually scared for the old guy. Over coffee, I watched him sort garbage out of a bucket of nails so that the guys in the crew didn't have to do it. "It's cold out today, right?" I asked. "It's all in the way you look at it," the old man said. "If you just dress for it, it ain't so bad." Slowly but surely we discussed why in the hell he was awake at 5:45 AM sorti...

Last week I returned to my car in a completely empty parking lot on the campus of Cornell University. There was a parking ticket flapping in the breeze under my windshield wiper, and I reacted like every other man or woman who ever received a parking ticket has reacted since the beginning of time. "This is bullshit!" I screamed to the inside of my car. I even had to bury the ticket under the sports section of the USA Today so I wouldn't catch a glimpse of it and get aggravated all over again. "I'm not paying it," I said every three minutes during the two hour ride home. Yesterday, I wrote a check and paid the freaking ticket. Thirty bucks gone and not a damn thing in return. Yet it's about personal responsibility, isn't it? I could have found a meter, dug out some coins, and made a longer walk to the meeting. I didn't. I was lazy, got busted for it, and had to make amends. So, how does this Madoff guy show his face? Allegedly, he stole about $50 ...

This year the Hunter's Hope Day for Children will be held on February 14, 2009 from 5 PM to 8 PM. I have been invited back to sign copies of House of Miracles and Counting on a Miracle to benefit Women & Children's Hospital and Hunter's Hope. I'll be bringing all of my books too - so if you're missing anything come on out. Yet the most important part of the event is what it means to so many people. My kids love to go - and it's cool signing books with them watching - they think I'm a big geek, but they like it too. As you will note Jill Kelly was unable to make me look good at last year's event, but it wasn't her fault. The thing about the celebration that means so much to me is that the Kelly's do understand the big picture. They continue to work hard to help other sick children. In fact, they are working to ensure that other children are not faced with the sort of prognosis that Hunter suffered from. It's a heartwarming event wi...

PacMan Jones is a football player who's been suspended for a year, cut from a couple of different teams, and he remains a defiant human being by all accounts. This morning I saw an interview with PacMan (can you imagine being a grown man with such a name?) where he claimed a helpless addiction to drinking and hanging out in strip clubs. Watching it long enough, I almost felt sorry for him. David Duchovney is suffering from a sex addiction. The poor guy couldn't get over his problem quick enough to keep it from costing him his marriage. Yet we all seem to be addicted to something, now don't we? I certainly have an addictive personality and I have had trouble battling back addictions from day one. I've been to parties where I've told my wife -"I'm not leaving until all the alcohol is gone." I've been addicted to nicotine for years. I certainly can be obsessive about eating. I can play the slot machines without interruption and I've thrown cau...

Doesn't it feel as though it's been about three years since Obama was elected president? There are people already lined up to complain about the job he's doing. I overheard a man on one of the work sites complaining that Obama hasn't been any better then Bush. Uh, he hasn't started yet. Which gets me wondering. Do we really need a 70-day transition period? Back up the U-Haul and switch out the gear. If they time it right, Bush and Obama can switch places without even seeing one another. What's transpired since the election anyway? Obama picked his cabinet in about three days. Then he went to Hawaii, to celebrate Christmas and New Year's. Lately the most pressing issue has been electing the family dog. Bush has continued his march through the country telling us why he's been a great president. Seriously. So what's left to do? I'm not sure all the switcheroo entails, but it seems quite a long while to leave the lamest of all ducks in charge as we c...

Snowbound with the television going isn't the best recipe for getting your mind going. Thankfully there has been a lot of football on the past two weekends. Hell, yesterday I didn't put my shoes on even once. Of course, the downside of it is that I've had the chance to see a lot of the news - from the trouble in the Gaza Strip to the Madoff rip-off of seemingly every person in America there's a lot to get you thinking. Yet what caught my attention most are the endless advertisements from the lawyers who want to help you sue someone, anyone, for millions of dollars. The ads run every ten minutes and they offer promise. "You have a cold? It might be from pollution at your desk at work. Call us for free, and we'll make you a millionaire." Here in the Buffalo area we have a lawyer who's name rhymes with car - so he has become an expert in suing other drivers who may have been in that automobile that banged into you on the freeway. "Hurt in a car, call...

My sister Carrie gave me a book for Christmas - I mentioned it before - The Alchemist - and I'm mentioning it again because it sort of has propelled me through week one of the new year. In it, the character finds that the best way to live is to follow your heart and find your own personal legend. Well as usually happens when you're thinking of such heady things, the mind starts playing a trick and I thought of my father's cousin, my cousin too - Marion Fricano. He was a major league pitcher back in the 1950's and the Town Park in my hometown bears his name. Yet what triggered his memory was a story about one of his sons, and as I told it to my boys, I mentioned that he had pitched in the major leagues. My boys were impressed, of course, and I explained that as a boy of about ten, Marion had thrown the ball to my brother and me in our backyard. I swear, I remember it as if it were yesterday. He threw the ball so hard! I also remember that he had cancer then - the cancer...

Man, I've always been a death penalty opponent. Basically because it is a law that is unfair to those that can't afford representation, and because it is unlawfully handed out - no one who ever made more than $30 grand a year has been executed. Also, I have my religious beliefs, blah, blah, blah - anyway anyone of you that has ever argued the point with me..... Yet today I read about a gentleman in Texas who killed his family back in '04 - and plucked out their hearts and threw them in the garbage after carrying them around in his pocket for awhile. He was convicted of murdering his wife and two kids, and stabbing himself in the heart before confessing. Just prior to sentencing for that crime, he plucked out one of his eyes. Today, he plucked out his other one - and he ate it. All right, the lazy among us explains that the world is a better place without this guy in it, right? Yet why didn't he get help before he killed his family? Okay maybe no one knew the depths of h...

A direct web link can be made www.sterlinghousepublisher.com or through www.squidoo.com/tags/fazzolari. All books may also be ordered through Amazon.com I am also looking to make as many personal appearances as possible – so if you know someone who’d like to have me show up to talk writing please contact me at at cliffordfc@roadrunner.com Please see attached ordering information for House of Miracles, Nobody’s Home, Blind Spot, Counting on a Miracle, In Real Life and Desperation. House of Miracles After his son's miraculous recovery at Women and Children's Hospital of Buffalo, NY, Mr. Fazzolari set about writing a book that would reveal and explain the medical miracles performed at the hospital every day. This book of true stories about staff, patients and their parents is an engrossing look at the way a hospital functions to save young lives. Readers will shed a tear or two and come away moved and enthralled at the courage and determination of the extraordinary people so bea...

They say that breaking up is hard to do, but the news story out today about the doctor in New York who wants his kidney back has to about take the cake. In case you haven't read about it, the guy gave a kidney to his sick wife back about seven years ago. He woke up after the operation more in love than ever, and slowly but surely, his wife returned to full health - so much so - that she cheated on her husband. The poor guy was devastated by the betrayal, and in the middle of the proceedings, he decided that he wanted his kidney back, or at least $1.5 million in compensation. Sounds about right. He sort of has her over a barrel don't you think? She isn't really in the position where she can say - "Fine keep your friggen' kidney," now can she? I'm not sure what draws me into the story more - was it the fact that he felt so betrayed? Is it the idea that her cheating has allowed him to see that her death, without his working kidney, wouldn't be so horrible...

Oh, thank God that Brad Pitt didn't cheat on Jennifer Aniston when he was filming Mr & Mrs Smith - I read something about how proud he was of the way he handled it all. What a great guy. Now, you do understand that there are shocking similarities between Brad Pitt and myself. We have lived our lives understanding that our power over the opposite sex comes with great responsibility. Like Brad, I too, have been able to harness this excess energy and have treated women fairly. Seriously, tossing aside Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie? What's his next move? Where does he go from here? I've seen photos of him surrounded by the eleven or so kids - each from a different country and the poor bastard looks miserable. Then again, who am I to judge? Hopefully his kids will stay happy and healthy and get by on the double income struggle of having two working parents. I watched an interview with Jolie once and she explained that she liked to give away her money and help others b...

The days get shorter and the nights go long. Winter seems to be longer and longer every year, and it also seems that the cold blast isn't just Buffalo's any longer - it seems to stretch all across the nation. And yet, there's global warming? The global warming issue seems to be a real hot button topic for politicians to mix it up. Al Gore won a Nobel Prize and one of my sister-in-laws handed out copies of a book that says it's all bull-crap. I didn't read it. In fact, I'm not entirely sure where I come down on the whole issue. I've heard dire reports that say the world will surely end due to the wasted energy that we've sent into the air and polluted our society. Others say that this is the natural order of things that cycles through every thousand years or so. Will the world end because of it? Will there be a great glacier that cuts holes as deep as the Great Lakes? I'm not sure how energy efficient we are around our home. We have the new low-watt l...

Man, I just don't know about the celebrity aspect of our society. What makes people want to throw anger and blame around when they have no idea what may or may not have transpired? So, we see John Travolta in movies - I still think his best turn was as Vinny Barbarino, but overall he's an actor. A rich actor who flies planes, married Kelly Preston, had a couple of kids, dabbles in Scientology, and has had his sexual preferences questioned on occasion. Of course, I've made fun of a few of the entertainers from time-to-time, but shouldn't there be a line in the sand that is respected? The man just lost his son. The circumstances are cause for great concern and people are questioning everything due to his religious beliefs, and his use of a nanny for supervision. For God's sake, give the man a break. His kid died at the age of 16. No matter how or what occurred, I'm sure he didn't want or mean for it to happen. And it doesn't matter if the kid was sickly or...

My sister presented me with a copy of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho for Christmas. She knew I'd appreciate the story because we've always shared a common interest in well-written works. The book is easy to read and carries a great many lessons in life - it also reminded me of my time spent with my boys over the holiday break. My son Sam is a walking celebration of life. From the moment he wakes up until the morning he closes his eyes, he is at his own little party. The grace and innocence that he brings into our lives is actually amazing, and it made me a little uneasy today as I headed back into the working world. Uneasy because there isn't that eternal optimism in the steps of the people that I meet on a routine basis. The smile, the sound of his laughter, the inquisitive search for what is true. He'll spin in a circle, run to the Internet, watch football, play shuffleboard, and constantly talk. Talk...talk...talk...talk Yet as I went about my business today, I though...

GW is worried about his legacy - this about sums it up for me - taken from an AP Story and numerous books about the "greatness" of the man: "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" January 2000, during a campaign event in South Carolina. "They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander in chief, too." Sept. 26, 2001, in Langley, Va. Bush was referring to the terrorists who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks. "There's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail." Oct. 4, 2001, in Washington. Bush was remarking on a back-to-work plan after the terrorist attacks. "It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber." April 10, 2002, at the White House, as Bush urged Senate passage of a broad ban on cloning. "I want to thank the dozens of welfare-to-work s...

Caught the news of the day yesterday and it was actually good news - homicides are down something like 53% in Buffalo over the last three years and violent crimes are also down about 10%. The police chief and the mayor stood together and accepted congratulations, but it was also reported that there was a sharp decline because of 67 security cameras on the streets of Buffalo. Coincidentally, my wife rented Eagle Eye for us to watch, so I spent the night thinking of 1984 by Orwell and wondering about how much Big Brother is watching. Of course, it is understood that we are being tracked by our cell phones, our computers, our credit cards, and the security cameras that mark our every move at the toll booths, and on the city streets. Which is fine with me because I don't conspire to commit many crimes, but I'm sure that there are people out there who feel their rights are violated. The movie made me feel uncomfortable in that every movement can be tracked, but can the reduction in...

For the first time in years I'm not quite sure how to answer the question about what I'll be working on for my next book. I'm currently three quarters of the way through a book about marriage and the crash and burn element of it - called The Price You Pay , but after that? I'm not tired of the exercise of writing as witnessed by the fact that I have posted to this blog over 400 times in less days than that, but there's a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I need to promote what has already been written, rather than go on the exhausting journey to begin another story. Through the years I've always had another story idea in the hopper, which makes this year more of a challenge. I'm not sure how I'll react when I'm not working on something. Yet it speaks of my resolve for the year. For the first 44 years, I've attacked life, this year, hopefully it will come to me. My mantra - relax and let it meet you. I'll let you know when I give up ...

Well, not exactly clean - still some remnant of '08 in the system - went to a house party with my good friends - stunk at billiards, worse at fooseball, but left the place happy (beer and shots do that) and intent on starting clean in '08. Not that there's a tremendous amount to clean up, but the New Year does bring that feeling of cleansing the system, which is always good, I think. I'm not sorry to see '08 go, but I'm ready to begin again. Caught a show on lifetime today that showed prisoners in their jail cells and how they mark time away, thinking about their crimes, trying to rehab, and just whiling away. One of the gentleman was in for manslaughter and they were quizzing him about his two children and how he explained his actions to them. The prisoner was extremely reflective explaining that it was still important for him to be a role model for his kids. He explained his crime to the youngsters by saying that he wanted them to pretend they were seeing a mo...