Stupid Tree
"He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down."
I watched a woman come out of the grocery store, balance two bags on her hip, put a gallon of milk on the roof of the car, fish out her keys, place the bags on the seat next to her, start the car and drive away. The milk fell from the roof and splattered the parking lot as I laughed my ass off on the way into the store.
One time back in college I stopped at a McDonald's drive-thru, ordered my food, paid at the first window and drove away. A friend of mine sitting next to me, cleared her throat just as I started to make the turn. "Hey genius, what's wrong with this picture?" she asked.
The other day I was listening to a tape of a 911 call. A lady, with three kids in the car, called 911 because she got her cheeseburger without pickles. She fought so long and hard with the clerk that she felt it necessary to dial 911 to solve the problem. The 911 operator was more than aggravated. I think he might have actually called the woman stupid.
As stated in a previous post I teach a class from time-to-time. I talk about construction safety and usually do a speech about taking your time to complete a task. The example I use is filling the coffeemaker on a daily basis. Recently during one class, this was the exchange, "It takes eight scoops," I said. "And if I do it slowly and deliberately, there's never a problem, but if I try and rush through it, I end up banging the scoop off of the side of the coffeemaker and spilling coffee all over the floor."
It's an easy enough lesson and an example that I've used a hundred times. This time, however, a hand was raised.
"Yes," I said.
"Why don't you get a bigger f*****g scoop?" the guy asked me.
The point being, we all do stupid things from time-to-time. I'm certainly not a stranger to stupidity, and it pays to be able to laugh at yourself.
If you'll excuse me, I need to get the coffee ready for tomorrow.
I watched a woman come out of the grocery store, balance two bags on her hip, put a gallon of milk on the roof of the car, fish out her keys, place the bags on the seat next to her, start the car and drive away. The milk fell from the roof and splattered the parking lot as I laughed my ass off on the way into the store.
One time back in college I stopped at a McDonald's drive-thru, ordered my food, paid at the first window and drove away. A friend of mine sitting next to me, cleared her throat just as I started to make the turn. "Hey genius, what's wrong with this picture?" she asked.
The other day I was listening to a tape of a 911 call. A lady, with three kids in the car, called 911 because she got her cheeseburger without pickles. She fought so long and hard with the clerk that she felt it necessary to dial 911 to solve the problem. The 911 operator was more than aggravated. I think he might have actually called the woman stupid.
As stated in a previous post I teach a class from time-to-time. I talk about construction safety and usually do a speech about taking your time to complete a task. The example I use is filling the coffeemaker on a daily basis. Recently during one class, this was the exchange, "It takes eight scoops," I said. "And if I do it slowly and deliberately, there's never a problem, but if I try and rush through it, I end up banging the scoop off of the side of the coffeemaker and spilling coffee all over the floor."
It's an easy enough lesson and an example that I've used a hundred times. This time, however, a hand was raised.
"Yes," I said.
"Why don't you get a bigger f*****g scoop?" the guy asked me.
The point being, we all do stupid things from time-to-time. I'm certainly not a stranger to stupidity, and it pays to be able to laugh at yourself.
If you'll excuse me, I need to get the coffee ready for tomorrow.
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