D.B. of Week II

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A pretty easy choice this week.

Ray Rice is a football player for the Baltimore Ravens. You know, one of the clueless, mindless guys who carries a ball for a living so therefore deserves to be treated like royalty.

My dog can carry a ball for a long way and is actually really elusive when you chase her.

Yet Rice, despite the fact that he knocked his girlfriend absolutely unconscious with a punch, and then, on videotape, guided her knocked out body out of an elevator by dragging her by the hair, is not the D.B. of the week.

(And by D.B. you can either go with 'Dopey Bastard' or 'Douche Bag' - you choose).

Ray Rice didn't win this week!

His coach - John Harbaugh does. There's a nod to Roger Goodell as well.

Because, you see, the National Felony League suspended Rice for a grand total of 2 games for his knockout punch.

(Do you know that the NFL doesn't pay taxes or their cheerleaders? They also hold communities hostage and black-out games if they don't wring out every single nickel on Sunday despite the fact that they're making billionaires of the owners with a massive television contract).

Back to the D.B story.

2 games.

The league had a chance to make a statement about punching women in the face until they are unconscious.

And they shit all over it.

Harbaugh talked about it being a non-story because when Rice isn't bashing in the face of a woman he's a really good guy. Evidently Rice was really sorry he did it, and the bitch goaded him into it, besides.

I bet Aaron Hernandez is sorry he murdered three people as well...perhaps we should let him off. He seems like a decent guy when he's catching the ball.

Orenthal was sorry too.

The jails are filled with sorry felons.

Harbaugh and Goodell went on to talk about the judicial system not tossing Rice into jail. They let it all play out...if the courts believed his 'I'm sorry' story who is the NFL to hit him harder?

Try this...

...punch a co-worker in the face on Monday morning.

Better yet, bash your own girlfriend over the head and see what happens.

Your friendly neighborhood cops will arrest you.

The judge will be Mean John Brown and he'll sentence you to 98 and a year.

Your boss will most likely call you in and fire your sorry ass.

Harbaugh went out of his way to excuse Rice his 'mistake.'

The still dizzy woman married him.

So many D.B.'s...

...so little time.

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