The Answer Is Never 'No'
After seeing something stupid in one of those stupid romantic movies my beautiful wife makes me watch she asked the kids:
"If you had to choose who would you live with Mom or Dad?"
The two kids who are always politically correct refused to answer.
Jake didn't hesitate.
"Dad."
Of course, my wife was horrified.
"I like to eat, and he cooks. I like things organized," Jake said. "Besides, he let's us do what we want."
The kids all agreed on one thing:
"He acts tough, but he's a push-over."
And I suppose I might be.
The last couple of weeks have been rough as I've been working a lot. In fact, most days are at least 12-hour affairs, but some of the sting is gone because I do type reports at home, and the boys feel free to come up and interrupt me.
I'm glad they do. There needs to be a balance.
On Monday I was knee-deep in work crap when Jake came up the stairs with his phone.
"I have to play you a rap song," he said.
That's not exactly the sentence I want to hear, but I took a deep breath and thought of something I heard awhile ago.
If your child wants a moment of your time, the answer is never no.
He played the song. I'm not sure who the artist was. A white kid. The song was about loss. It actually had coherent thoughts.
"That's not bad," I said as the song finished up.
"I knew you'd like it," he said. "It's good writing, isn't it?"
And it always occurs to me that my boys want my approval and that my impatience at times or disappointment with something is a guide for them. They want to make me happy.
And that's a great thing. It's what every parent hopes to accomplish.
During the Bulls-Heat Playoff series we got to working about working hard. Their superstar Derek Rose hasn't yet returned because he doesn't feel mentally healthy after being hurt. Meanwhile, their big man, Noah, has played through all sorts of things.
"Noah, doesn't care," Sam said. "He'll work through anything. He's like you, Dad."
And that was a huge compliment, right?
"Yeah, the guy who climbs a ladder the day after knee surgery," Jake said. "Now that's a real genius."
But at least I know they're paying attention.
And it would be real un-genius like of me to say 'no'.
"If you had to choose who would you live with Mom or Dad?"
The two kids who are always politically correct refused to answer.
Jake didn't hesitate.
"Dad."
Of course, my wife was horrified.
"I like to eat, and he cooks. I like things organized," Jake said. "Besides, he let's us do what we want."
The kids all agreed on one thing:
"He acts tough, but he's a push-over."
And I suppose I might be.
The last couple of weeks have been rough as I've been working a lot. In fact, most days are at least 12-hour affairs, but some of the sting is gone because I do type reports at home, and the boys feel free to come up and interrupt me.
I'm glad they do. There needs to be a balance.
On Monday I was knee-deep in work crap when Jake came up the stairs with his phone.
"I have to play you a rap song," he said.
That's not exactly the sentence I want to hear, but I took a deep breath and thought of something I heard awhile ago.
If your child wants a moment of your time, the answer is never no.
He played the song. I'm not sure who the artist was. A white kid. The song was about loss. It actually had coherent thoughts.
"That's not bad," I said as the song finished up.
"I knew you'd like it," he said. "It's good writing, isn't it?"
And it always occurs to me that my boys want my approval and that my impatience at times or disappointment with something is a guide for them. They want to make me happy.
And that's a great thing. It's what every parent hopes to accomplish.
During the Bulls-Heat Playoff series we got to working about working hard. Their superstar Derek Rose hasn't yet returned because he doesn't feel mentally healthy after being hurt. Meanwhile, their big man, Noah, has played through all sorts of things.
"Noah, doesn't care," Sam said. "He'll work through anything. He's like you, Dad."
And that was a huge compliment, right?
"Yeah, the guy who climbs a ladder the day after knee surgery," Jake said. "Now that's a real genius."
But at least I know they're paying attention.
And it would be real un-genius like of me to say 'no'.
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