Sign This For Me

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Back when I was a teenager girls sort of thought I was best left alone so I collected autographs with a few buddies who had time for both the ladies and the sports guys.

As per usual it became an obsession for me. I wanted to get the signature of all the big stars.

As you can see from the photo above, I did pretty well.

The Mantle personalized one is awfully great. So is the DiMaggio, the Gretzky, the Willie Mays, Henry Aaron. Just on and on and on.

My two favorites are that way because of the way I had to go about getting them.

Wilt Chamberlain was famous for never signing. As a kid I couldn't understand that. I was real young when I was shooting for his signature. I sent him photos - once a week - begging him to sign.

He never did.

So I decided to write him a letter.

I added a dollar bill to the package to sweeten the deal.

I imagine that the letter went something like this:

Dear Wilt,

You are the greatest player who ever lived.

I really want your autograph.

I sent some pictures.

And a dollar.

You can keep the dollar if you sign my pictures.

Love,

Cliff

I got the package back about a week after I sent it.

The photos were unsigned.

The dollar was even in there.

It was signed:

'Peace, Wilt Chamberlain.'

The 2nd coolest one I ever received was from Nancy Kerrigan. Back when she was getting her knee whacked, I was still without women and sort of infatuated with her story. I bet my brother, Jeff, $50, I could get her autograph.

I mailed photos to the town she lived in up in New England.

The envelope was filled out like this:

Nancy Kerrigan
Bedford, Ma.

I didn't even add the zip code. Let those lunatics down at the P.O. look it up.

Two days later the photos were returned...signed.

I have 5 Nancy Kerrigan autographs.

I never did get the $50 though.

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