Vote For Nobody!

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I really hate this time of year because it seems that every other commercial, and every other news story is about some new joke running for political office. The new guy's spin goes something like this:

Are you tired of the same old bullshit from your political leaders? Well, I'm a man of the people. Here look at my ugly wife and moronic kids. They love me. I love you. We all love the Bills and Sabres. We love Jesus and hate new taxes. We are going to get rid of the same old crap that has been ruining your life. Vote for me.

This commercial was approved by Joe Blow and was paid for by you mentally-deficient taxpayers.

Meanwhile, two minutes later, the other candidate - the old-time guy comes on:

I am a great political leader. I have fought for you at every turn - here's a shot of my ugly kids and my 2.5 idiotic kids. I voted against the guy who wanted to raise your taxes and that new guy who says I didn't is a freaking liar. I'm sick of his bullshit already and that's why you have to vote for me.

This commercial was approved by John Doe and was also paid for by you half-in-the-bag morons who don't vote.

The news story the next day covers both commericals:

We checked the facts of the ads run by the two men going for whatever the hell office they are going for and we found out one basic truth.

They are both idiotic liars who've been convicted of everything from drunk-driving to molesting their kid neighbor. Neither guy has a wife that loves him and their estimates on the number of kids they have is way the frig off.

Just thought you'd like to know before you go to the polls.

So, whatever. Get off my television screen, out of my newspaper, and for god's sake don't ask me to put one of your signs on my lawn.

I will most likely vote again because I want to have something to bitch about, and I love being called for jury duty, but I don't have a lot of faith any more in the process.

Run a good campaign, win the election, go off to the state capital and start stealing the money we try and earn.

It's the political system we now employ.

Comments

Larry L said…
Hey these people are running for office in Georgia too!
29 September, 2010
Cindy Lehnortt said…
Wow, Very similar to what I said this very morning!
30 September, 2010
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