I'm Due
According to U.S. Preventive Services Task Force Guidelines, you are due to have a Colonoscopy performed to screen for colon cancer.
There's a feel good letter, huh?
Why did they capitalize Colonoscopy?
Why is it in bold letters?
I'll tell you why.
Because they know you're gonna' say:
"This sucks!"
Not sure if I've ever met anyone who was pumped for the old colon lookey-loo.
Of course the letter goes on to say that Colon cancer is one of the most common and yet preventable cancers if caught in the early stages and that failure to detect cancer can lead to premature death.
So, I'm gonna' make the phone call.
Sometime after the first of the year, I suppose.
"It's not so bad," a friend of mine said just a few months after he had the test done.
"But you like that sort of thing," I said.
He didn't laugh.
"Dude, I know a guy who got colon cancer. It was a nasty ride. He has really suffered. Get it done. A couple of bad days is better than hundreds of horrific days."
Man, I'm telling you!
This getting old ain't for the weak.
Coincidentally I was at a breakfast meeting the other day. The kid who sat next to me was a 21-year-old ironworker.
He ordered a coffee.
He put seven packets of sugar in it.
For breakfast he ordered the lumberjack special. It consisted of:
3 eggs (he ordered them over easy), 3 sausage links, three strips of bacon, home fries, an order of toast (he went with rye) and a few pancakes.
"Can I get a chocolate milk?" he asked.
I laughed.
"What? I'm hungry."
At 21, I might have ordered a 4th egg.
"God Bless you," I said.
I watched him plow through most of the breakfast, saving the pancakes for last.
"Will you eat lunch too?" I asked him.
"Nah," he said. "Maybe just a candy bar and a red bull later on."
"Before you know it they're gonna' be sending you Colonoscopy letters," I said.
He looked at me kind of funny. I'm sure he had no idea what I was talking about. He didn't look overly concerned about it either.
"Good luck with that, old man," he said.
He poured half a bottle of syrup over the pancakes and shoveled a couple of them in his mouth at once.
"You're making me sick," I said.
"Me? You're the one talking about a Colonoscopy."
Eat well, kid.
They're coming for you too.
There's a feel good letter, huh?
Why did they capitalize Colonoscopy?
Why is it in bold letters?
I'll tell you why.
Because they know you're gonna' say:
"This sucks!"
Not sure if I've ever met anyone who was pumped for the old colon lookey-loo.
Of course the letter goes on to say that Colon cancer is one of the most common and yet preventable cancers if caught in the early stages and that failure to detect cancer can lead to premature death.
So, I'm gonna' make the phone call.
Sometime after the first of the year, I suppose.
"It's not so bad," a friend of mine said just a few months after he had the test done.
"But you like that sort of thing," I said.
He didn't laugh.
"Dude, I know a guy who got colon cancer. It was a nasty ride. He has really suffered. Get it done. A couple of bad days is better than hundreds of horrific days."
Man, I'm telling you!
This getting old ain't for the weak.
Coincidentally I was at a breakfast meeting the other day. The kid who sat next to me was a 21-year-old ironworker.
He ordered a coffee.
He put seven packets of sugar in it.
For breakfast he ordered the lumberjack special. It consisted of:
3 eggs (he ordered them over easy), 3 sausage links, three strips of bacon, home fries, an order of toast (he went with rye) and a few pancakes.
"Can I get a chocolate milk?" he asked.
I laughed.
"What? I'm hungry."
At 21, I might have ordered a 4th egg.
"God Bless you," I said.
I watched him plow through most of the breakfast, saving the pancakes for last.
"Will you eat lunch too?" I asked him.
"Nah," he said. "Maybe just a candy bar and a red bull later on."
"Before you know it they're gonna' be sending you Colonoscopy letters," I said.
He looked at me kind of funny. I'm sure he had no idea what I was talking about. He didn't look overly concerned about it either.
"Good luck with that, old man," he said.
He poured half a bottle of syrup over the pancakes and shoveled a couple of them in his mouth at once.
"You're making me sick," I said.
"Me? You're the one talking about a Colonoscopy."
Eat well, kid.
They're coming for you too.
Comments