Thoughts of a Common Man

A pretty easy choice this week. Ray Rice is a football player for the Baltimore Ravens. You know, one of the clueless, mindless guys who carries a ball for a living so therefore deserves to be treated like royalty. My dog can carry a ball for a long way and is actually really elusive when you chase her. Yet Rice, despite the fact that he knocked his girlfriend absolutely unconscious with a punch, and then, on videotape, guided her knocked out body out of an elevator by dragging her by the hair, is not the D.B. of the week. (And by D.B. you can either go with 'Dopey Bastard' or 'Douche Bag' - you choose). Ray Rice didn't win this week! His coach - John Harbaugh does. There's a nod to Roger Goodell as well. Because, you see, the National Felony League suspended Rice for a grand total of 2 games for his knockout punch. (Do you know that the NFL doesn't pay taxes or their cheerleaders? They also hold communities hostage and black-out games if ...

Was on another demolition job recently and as usual there was a safe in the center of the room. The safe was not open and really couldn't be opened by anyone there on the demolition crew, but a few of the guys were taking a crack at the combination while on break. "What would you do if you got it open and there was a quarter mil in there?" I asked the boss. "Really? You need to ask?" "You wouldn't give it to the owner or call your boss?" I asked. He laughed. "You'd turn it in?" And I don't suppose that I would. I imagine that I'd stuff all the cash into my pockets and make a run for the car, but it begs the question of finding lost money and actually turning it in. A few years ago a friend of ours found an envelope in a shopping cart in the Wal-Mart parking lot. She headed back into the store and turned, the better then $2,000 haul, over to the girl behind the glass in the store. "You dumb ass," I re...

I went golfing at a country club. I texted a buddy and told him that I felt a bit like Jed Clampett. Before I even arrived at the course my beautiful wife had to go out and get me clothes that were actually ALLOWED TO BE WORN ON THE COURSE. So, I was a little tense when I arrived. I started really slowly. My feet are still really hurting, but if I can put them in work boots, I can put them in golf shoes. And I spent a bit of time loosening up. The hip, the back, the feet were all barking. But I was still so tense. Because I felt like I didn't belong. The rough is like the usual fairways I golf on. The fairways are so nice that I felt bad taking a swing. I learned really quickly that I needed to pour something out of a bottle on our cart on the holes. I needed to fix ball marks on the green. I had to wait my turn. My f-bombs would most likely be frowned upon...and God help me if I threw a club. So...I settled down quickly. I kept looking at the beautiful image...

During the last few weeks I've received messages from old friends who were once part of my every day life. We all have friends like that. People we really, really liked...or loved...who by circumstance fell out of our lives. Perhaps we switched jobs. Maybe we got married and those friends just sort of drifted to the background. Whatever the reason...they aren't around anymore...but they pop back in. I have a buddy who was a huge fan of The Who . Every single time I hear a Who song I think of him. Sometimes I'll just send the name of the song to him in a text: Another Tricky Day And he'll answer: We should get together! And you might want to, but you won't. Yet you have the memories. I saw another guy at a party this past weekend. When we were kids we used to grab a case of beer and ride around listening to music. At the party we were both drinking water. "Hey, I read your last book," he said. "Couldn't believe I was pi...

In many ways Waldorf & Juli was my most disappointing book. Not because of the writing! I actually really thought I figured some things out with this one. The back story. After Eye in the Sky I was doing a couple of really good things. I was writing a lot, and I was talking with an agent out of Pittsburgh. My agent was telling me to slow it all down. "Make sure you write a good book, first," she said. "The rest will sort itself out." So I was working on a book I was calling Desperation Explodes Into Pain. That book was a monster and it was inspired by Grapes of Wrath and the Mellencamp song Jackie Brown . I was living alone in New Haven, Connecticut. I was down in the dumps a little and poverty really saddened me. So I was working on Desperation ....and I was sort of living like that too. I needed to laugh a little. So I also started writing a funny book...it was a book about a guy who meets a girl. Then I imagined what it might be like ...

My college buddy Mike Palmer turned 50 years old on Friday. That, obviously, is an old photo. 32+ years old to be exact. Funny story, but when I arrived at Gannon University in August, 1982 I was a little scared. I was leaving North Collins where I had graduated high school just a couple of months before and I was going to really miss high school because I had a lot of great, close friends. I didn't know more than one person who was heading to Gannon...the one guy I did know was Chris Miller...and I didn't even like him! So I was lonely. The first guy I met, other than my goofy roommate, was Mike Palmer. The second guy I met was Fluffy and the 3rd was Gag. We've all remained friends for over 30 years. And it's a truly easy friendship. We grew to know another so well that there isn't a single thing that happens that I don't know what my three buddies are thinking. When Rosie sent me the above photo of the two of us a whole bunch of things went ...

It's that time of year, folks! The 4th annual tournament to celebrate Jeff. As you can see in the above photo that's me and my buddy Jeff Renaldo...and while I never would have imagined living all of these days without my brother... ...it's guys like Jeffy who get me through. And that's how it feels for the entire Fuzzy family. Our cousins come from miles and miles away. Our friends gather and play ball. Wif feeds me SPAM at every turn. Larry Bowman provides the peppers that Pops stuffs to perfection. We have epic donations from all over Western New York and we have what is really needed... ...every day... love and laughter. I really hope that you can all make the trip to Marion Fricano North Collins Town Park on August 10 at 10:30 a.m. We'll be playing softball. We will have some peppers and a few beverages. We'll be celebrating the life of an outstanding human being... ...and giving a little bit of comfort to Johnny, Farrah and Roc...

So, we are bringing a new feature to Thoughts of a Common Man : Dopey Bastard of the week. This week the winner comes from the world of sports although there certainly were no shortage of idiots. We can most likely come up with a political figure each and every single week, but the more I think about this one...the more it became clear to me. This was dopey bastardic. The winner? Tony Dungy. Okay, a few housekeeping things before we get to why he wins the award on week one. First, can someone explain to me what the rules are in regard to homosexuals? Religious-wise? There are people who say that opposition is clearly stated in the Bible. I read that book. I actually studied it during college. I listen to the stories each week. And there is some messed up stuff in there. But let's give it to those who oppose gay rights. Okay...the Bible says it's wrong. Is it also wrong for you to stand by idly and not judge other people's lives? Because that'...

Buddy of mine sent me a text the other day: "I'm not going to read anything about current events anymore." A good idea. How can you even fathom the plane getting blown out of the sky by a missile? You can't, right? Yesterday morning I picked up the Buffalo News and read about a 3-year-old girl who was a victim of a hit and run here in the city. It was bad enough that it happened and that the young girl was critically injured, but the news story told me that she was sent twenty-five feet in the air and that there wasn't any adult supervision around. That's enough to make you wanna' spit up your coffee. So, my buddy might be on to something, for sure. Could we live without the news? I happened to put the local news on the other evening. A couple of questions: 1). Why do we have to know who's not there? "Hi, this is Keith. Mary Alice has the day off." Good for her! 2). Why do they have to tease everything? You coul...

One of the things that always makes me feel good about visiting New York City is that shows me another part of America. A lot of what is American, actually. There are the guys painted in silver and gold. Then we passed the women painted or naked...just a bit of covering. There's a Chinese contingent over here...a family of French folks on the train...blacks...Hispanics...Muslim...Japanese. And the languages are not all English. There were plenty of different forms of communication being used. I spent a lot of time watching the boys react to seeing people who didn't look exactly like them...and you know what?...I didn't see any change in them. At all. It makes me shake my head, actually, because it seems that when you return to the 'real world' there's a lot of pure hatred for people...groups of people...by people who are judging those they don't know. There was a huge discussion going on someone's Facebook page. It was all about imm...

There were so many moments during our trip to New York - the above photo cost me $20 as I had to pay the guys in the suit for posing with the boys, but they laughed all the way through it...so it was worth it. From the moment when we checked into the hotel room...after a frenzied drive through New Jersey...after my beautiful wife accidentally muted my GPS... Here was the exchange after the long drive: Me: We have two rooms reserved under 'Fazzolari'. Clerk: First name? Me: Clifford. Long wait. I'm standing with my nephew John and my son Sam looking at the clerk, who was from India, I believe. Me: Huge sigh. Another long wait, but finally the clerk looks up. Clerk: So, it's under 'Clifford Clifford?' My nephew, from less than a foot way, roared with laughter. Me: Kathy...please talk to this woman. And that was the way I played the trip. Nothing would aggravate me. Not the long walks. Not the heavy traffic. I would shake off the fati...

Eye in the Sky was my 2nd published book and thinking back on it, it was really important for a whole bunch of reasons. First off, the why I wrote it: I had just finished the extensive tour with Money Changes Everything and lo and behold, I wasn't a millionaire. I also wasn't really happy with Limits so I didn't do anything with it. But I still wanted to write. I just didn't know what I should be writing about and I was really down in the dumps. I was still in the office in my parents basement and I was still drinking a lot of beer. Yet I wanted more. I landed a job as a writer for a soon-to-be-defunct magazine in Niagara Falls. It was called World Events , I think. I hated the meetings. I hated dressing up. I hated being told what to write. I was a mess. Each day I went to the grocery store in town and each time I waited in line to be checked out by a girl who worked there. Davine was always so cheerful! Her smile and the chance to flirt with her was...

Since I'm in New York, my faithful friend JCM is filling in today. Don't forget this message! Your Life Is Now by John Mellencamp See the moon roll across the stars See the seasons turn like a heart Your father's days are lost to you This is your time here to do what you will do Your life is now your life is now your life is now In this undiscovered moment Lift your head up above the crowd We could shake this world If you would only show us how Your life is now Would you teach your children to tell the truth Would you take the high road if you could choose Do you believe you're a victim of a great compromise 'Cause I believe you could change your mind and change our lives Your life is now your life is now your life is now In this undiscovered moment Lift your head up above the crowd We could shake this world If you would only show us how Your life is now Would you teach your children to tell the truth? This is your time here to do what...

So, we're heading to New York, New York to visit the cathedral where the 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized Sports play baseball. I'm not sure what the final head count will be but there will be a lot of Fuzzy's in the house to see the Captain play live in the final season of his glorious career. God, I hope they don't lose! Of course, heading to Yankee Stadium makes me think of all the other times I headed there. I remember watching the Yankees play the Red Sox in a double-header. I was there alone. Mattingly homered in both games and the Yankees swept. John, Jim and I went to a game at the new stadium in 2009. It was tough. There was an empty seat beside us for the entire game. Bruce came over the loudspeaker just before first pitch. The Yankees won. I went with friends a whole bunch of times. The Yankees won each time. I sat with my worker buds in the Lou Gehrig suite. The game was tight and was actually headed i...

Right now. Go get one. I have really struggled through the days, weeks and months with legs that just don't want to do what they used to do. "You need to get healthy!" a co-worker said. Uh, no disrespect, but uh, no shit! Yet there are days... "I'm thinking of going golfing," I texted my beautiful wife a little while back. She didn't respond. I let some time go by. She texted something about dinner. "Did you get my golf text?" I asked. "I did," she answered. More time went by. "Thoughts?" I sent. "You're an idiot." But I went. In my mind I considered that it might loosen me up. I stunk. I couldn't feel my legs by the 4th hole. They didn't loosen up. And I went along a few days like that. Ice pack on the feet. Heating pad on the calf. Work. Climb ladders. Ice pack. Heating pack. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. "I'm thinking of getting a massage." "Th...

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day. "I hate baseball," he said. "But I gotta' tell you, I love Derek Jeter. I have held him up as an example to my son of how to handle himself whether he's playing sports or not." "That's because he's the greatest ever," I said. "I ain't kissing a Yankees ass," he said. "But he is something else." And my son was in the other room watching the lead up to the home run derby. "They just interviewed Jeter," he said, "And when the guy mentioned something about being one of the all-time great ballplayers... ...Jeter said, "'I don't know if I consider myself great.'" Sam was nodding his head as he made a very astute statement: "Can you imagine how great LeBron would've told that guy he was?" And that truly is the greatness of Derek Jeter. Forget the five World Series Titles. Forget the World Series MVP...

I have some close buddies who really like LeBron James and while I must admit that he's one of the all-time greats, I'm not a fan. I just can't get over the "I'm taking my talents," speech and how self-absorbed that whole deal was. And the King hasn't really changed all that much, in my eyes. Every single interview sounds the same: I,I,I,I, Me, Me, Me, I, I , Me, Me, Me, I, I,I,I,I, Me, Me, Me, I, I , Me, Me, Me, I There were over a hundred and twenty 'I's' and 'Me's' in his going back to Cleveland statement and it was obvious that someone other than LeBron wrote it. But that's okay. There are actually a few things I like about his return to Cleveland. 1). Cleveland is a city like Buffalo. They need a championship. My father-in-law is an Indians fan and I wish they would have closed the deal in 1997 after they beat the 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized American Sports, but t...

Every year the great friends of Cathy George gather in her memory to play kickball. It's an unbelievable scene. They are playing for the championship leg. I didn't play of course...if they were giving away a new left leg I honestly might have to try, but my body is not quite ready for that sort of exercise. But it's fun to watch! People jumping, diving, sliding...and laughing. This year I thought about Foxy. A great guy who was always there. Foxy was Cathy's Dad, of course, and this year the tourney was dedicated to his memory. Foxy was already a legend. Great, great guy. I shook hands with my buddy Wif (who can't get any balder) and then waited for the big hug from Diane. As we exchanged that hug my mind pleaded with me to hold onto it. Because the entire benefit is such a big hug as is the tourney for my brother Jeff. A huge emotional hug that just speaks of love, of hope, of moving forward. Never forgetting. And helping others to co...

Steve Howe was a pitcher for a whole bunch of baseball teams. He was a tremendous talent, but he had a whole bunch of problems. Howe was busted for drugs a number of times. The Dodgers fired him. MLB suspended him for a long while. And he kept getting chances. Because he was so talented. Howe was definitely down to his final chance when the Yankees signed him. For all his bluster George Steinbrenner had a huge heart, and he tried so hard to get the most out of people. Ask Strawberry or Gooden about who saved their lives. Howe was on the team just as they started to get really good. I remember going down to Baltimore around then and standing behind the Yankee bullpen. We were drinking a whole bunch of beers, and as Howe sat there one night a Baltimore fan started in on him about his drug suspensions. The drunken asshole was really hammering Howe, calling him every name in the book. Howe heard every word. I recall the way Howe's leg shook as he sat there, pretending not to ...

Thought about running a feature deal on Sunday...for the next 11 Sunday's, I guess. Just to get my thoughts down on the books that I've written. As you can see the first one featured in Money Changes Everything and that's because it was first. There are a lot of interesting things about this unbelievably horrible book. And I say horrible because of so many reasons. 1). When I started to write things I was living in San Jose, California with the entire family, at first, but once they returned to Buffalo because of school, it was just me with Jim, Dad and Scott Weiser...who was a permanent fixture then. I was scratching notes on a yellow legal pad and Jim and Scott were reading along...laughing. I was also sending some of the stories back to my college friends including Fluffy, Rosie and Lisa. But there was a problem. I didn't know how to type. I didn't own a typewriter and I had no clue about how to get a book published. I was working on Money Changes Eve...

Stopped at a job site as I'm prone to do so I could heckle the guys who are out there working hard. I passed one such guy and we stopped to chat. We were just about finished with our conversation about the work when I said: "There's writing on your arm." He twisted it so I could read the words. And I imagine that it's there so he remembers to prioritize his values but as soon as I read it my mind clicked to an obituary that I'd read at lunch on Wednesday. A guy I'd known for at least ten years had the extreme misfortune of getting his photo in that section of the paper. At 50 years old! "What the hell happened to Dave?" I texted another co-worker. "Heart attack. Saturday morning," he sent back. I read the arm over and over once I snapped the photo. And I thought of Dave, who'd made just a line in the news: Dave enjoyed working outdoors and spending time with his children And that would be it in many of our min...

Did you see the photo of the guy sleeping at the Yankee-Red Sux game in April? It's making the rounds because the guy in the photo is suing MLB, the Yankees and ESPN because the announcers made fun of him on the telecast and then the people on the social media feed called him a 'fat slob.' He wants ten million dollars. If that guy gets a nickel there should be a revolution. Did you see the article about the 83-year-old woman who was arrested for the murder of her 89-year-old husband? She hit him with a blunt object. I happened to read the comment section on that one: "She's probably wanted to do that for 50 years." "He should've taken out the garbage when she asked." and my favorite: "So...now she's single?" But that's a truly sad story there. I can't lie here. I sort of glimpsed the future in that one. There was also a story here in Buffalo about a son who allegedly murdered his father. The kid suppo...

Every day life should be simple, huh? We get up, we go to work somewhere, we come home, eat drink, laugh, love. Yet there's so much stress out there, right? A good buddy of mine, years ago, told me that worrying was a lot like sitting in a rocking chair and rocking back and forth. "Nothing gets done," he said. "But at least you're passing time." And we are all guilty of over-thinking things a lot. I know some people who imagine scenario after scenario and worry, worry, worry all the damn time. Namely, my wife...and my mother-in-law. Now Kathy does a great job of keeping tabs on the boys, but when they are out of the house she is an epic worrier. She has been known to send tens or hundreds of texts to a child that is out there for a while. Her two biggest, well-known worry episodes? 1). She once called the school to see if Jake made it to school because when he got on the bus she noticed that it was a different bus driver. She was afraid t...

There's an abortion clinic on Main Street in Buffalo. I pass the place on a routine basis and every time I do I'm struck by the people who stand outside with sandwich boards around their necks as they demonstrate that abortion is murder. I try and look at the people who are standing there, wondering what makes them do it. They are there every single time. As I drove by the place on Monday afternoon there was a heavy downpour. Still. There was one guy out there. His sign was hanging around his neck and his head was down to keep the rain from hitting him in the face: I'm Here to Help. Not to Judge. I was a little curious as to how he was going to help a woman who came into view of the abortion clinic. What would he say to her? Does he really believe that he will change her mind? Does he feel that it should be his choice and not hers The abortion issue is a pretty confusing topic for everyone on the planet. We all have beliefs. When does life begin? ...

So the Cleveland Browns drafted Johnny Football to play QB for them. He appears to be an absolute moron though, doesn't he? Manziel was asked by the Browns to tone it down a bit after he spent a weekend in Las Vegas with a few other morons immediately after the draft. He appears to like hanging out with Floyd Mayweather and Justin Bieber...who are both well-known douches. But he didn't tone it down. This past weekend Manziel was photographed back in Vegas and this time he was shown with a rolled up dollar bill. He wasn't using it as a straw for his drink. And there are so many sides to this deal. First off, he's free to do whatever the hell he wants, right? Secondly, he's a young guy with a lot of money and he appears to like to party. He's a celebrity just because he can play with a ball. He's got the world by the ass, in other words. The problem with it all? He's under a microscope. His employer asked him to tone it down. Drug...

I imagine that my mother's neighbors thought it was a bit weird when I pulled into the driveway with Frank Sinatra blaring, but Ol' Blue Eyes came on just as I was rounding the corner onto Shirley Road. Of course, Frank sings the hell out of the song and the lyrics are great as well. I especially like the lyric - Like painted kites, those days and nights, they went flyin' by It actually had even more meaning as I had been speaking with my brother in the morning and we were talking about Dad at the age of 50. "It seemed like ten minutes ago," I said. "It flies by," Jim answered. I sang the hell out of that particular line. The Summer Wind The summer wind, came blowin' in from across the sea It lingered there to touch your hair and walk with me All summer long we sang a song and then we strolled that golden sand Two sweethearts and the summer wind Like painted kites, those days and nights, they went flyin' by The world was new ...

I listen to the Opie and Anthony Show from time-to-time. Actually, I usually catch it most every day of the week. I ride around a lot and it's funny. Jim Norton and Opie are sensible enough, and Louis CK pops in and he's pretty much a genius. Yet on any given day I will switch the show because the other host, Anthony, is prone to go on nonsensical rants that get under my skin. He'll pepper his comments with a lot of 'they's' and 'them people', especially when he is speaking about blacks or Hispanics. Then he'll laugh and mention that he's joking, but the more you listen, the more you understand that a lot of what he thinks is sort of out of whack. And let him say it, I suppose. I can turn the channel, and I normally do when he goes off. His Obama black rants are particularly galling. You can hate the policies and procedures, but to do black voices and pepper it with hate and it is a bit transparent. Yet again, he can say it. He will men...

Net-Flix has sort of changed the television watching experience, huh? We were looking for a show and my beautiful wife suggested one called, Orange is the New Black . The title was a bit weird and a woman's prison? But we settled into the first episode and the lesbian angle was a tad interesting, but, of course, I'm really only thinking about the character development and the writing in the story lines. "We'll give it a go," I said, in the middle of a steamy scene. Yet, why the television experience has changed is this: We used to watch a show at say, Tuesday evening at 8 p.m. If we missed it, by some chance, we may never see it again. It was an all or nothing thing. Yet with the new set-up, you can just sit there and a new episode will start in 20 seconds or something. Boom, episode after episode. Yet what has happened with this show is that we have quite a few moral situations to discuss during the show. Here are a sampling of a few of our ques...

All right, so I lied about having to wait for the review. First off, the concert hall is small. I couldn't possibly imagine seeing one of my favorite acts in rock and roll up that close. And I was that close because Millie hit a HR with the ticket (it's hard for Mets fans to hit home runs). But there were were. 17 rows back. Dead center. And Mellencamp and the band were prompt and they started right in on Human Wheels . I believe that I've written here before, but Human Wheels is one of my all-time favorite Mellencamp tracks. The problem being that the words were a bit lost as the band seemed to be a lot louder than JCM. The 2nd song wasn't much clearer, and although they were right there I had a sinking feeling. First off, Mellencamp wasn't moving much. He was all dressed up and he looked a bit like me at a wedding...trying to have a good time, but stiff in the freaking monkey suit! Still...I thought there might be a chance that John would loosen up ...

To the Niagara Falls Casino to see John Mellencamp on Thursday night. How American is that? You need to wait a day for the review. Here are some great lyrics to hold you over. Check It Out by John Mellencamp A million young poets, screamin' out their words To a world full of people, just livin' to be heard Future generations ridin' on the highways that we built I hope they have a better understanding Check it out Goin' to work on Monday Check it out Got yourself a family Check it out All utility bills have been paid You can't tell your best buddy that you love him So check it out Where does our time go Check it out Got a brand new house in escrow Check it out Sleepin' with your back to your loved one This is all that we've learned about happiness Check it out Forgot to say hello to my neighbors Check it out Sometimes I question my own behavior Check it out Talkin' about the girls that we've seen on the sly Just to...

We are all stories in the end, remembered by the adventure we had, the achievements we made and the people we loved. A guy I worked around for about twenty years passed away last week. He was too young. We had lost touch after he retired. His retirement was way too brief. Yet a mutual friend got together with me and quickly we recounted a few stories about our now-missing friend. We remembered a lot of things about him, including the moments when we didn't see eye-to-eye on a particular issue. "He was a good guy," my buddy said. And there it was. The summation. The above quote is so powerful to me. "We won't ever wonder what you were thinking," Sam said to me one day. "You wrote it all down." And that's true. I certainly like to believe that it's the reason I've written so many words through the years. No one can be that self-absorbed, right? I certainly am doing it for my boys and my brother and sister's childre...

If a poison snake bites you, you're poison too. That is actually one of my favorite sayings in the world. I kind of use it to comfort people who have been beaten to shit by life, or by folks that they once trusted. I try and explain that they need to get rid of the poison and not let it fester or their life will be poison as well. Getting rid of the poison is much easier than it sounds. There are so many people who let it take control of their bodies. They allow it to bring them to their knees. In some cases, the poison kills them. As a matter of fact, that's the problem with life. It'll grind you. Every single day it'll grind you down. I've known men who've loved women with all of their hearts only to find out that it was a brilliant disguise. Then the poison takes over. I've known women who believed what they wanted to believe about a guy and when they finally found out that none of it was true... ...poison. And it goes so much furt...

So. Are you watching the big game today? The mighty USA coming off their 1 win, 1 loss, 1 tie play in the round of death is going to face-off against Belgium. Do they do face-offs? What I have heard most of lately is that soccer is really catching on in the United States. For the first time in history the American public is jumping on the 'soccer is great' bandwagon. Are you there yet? I'm not, actually, but I listened to their game against Germany...on the radio! Yes...I listened to it on the radio! Soccer on the radio is actually slightly less entertaining than soccer on television and soccer on television is slightly less boring to me than watching the grass grow. But soccer in person seems sort of interesting to me. In fact, it probably would be downright lively in one of those faraway places because they are really, really, really freaking into it! But you know what? Americans will be too if we somehow get to the end of the World Cup. Can you ...