Thoughts of a Common Man

It's funny but I can remember a whole bunch of New Year's Eve parties. When we were kids my parents' friends used to come by and we'd eat a lot of food and hang out with them. Mom and Dad would have a few drinks and Frenchie and McGurk. I really remember that Frenchie and McGurk would provide us with a lot of laughs. As a teenager and well into my 20's I spent a lot of New Year's at the Buffalo Sabres game. They did a Tux and Pucks night and I went a whole bunch of times...sometimes with a buddy...sometimes with a date. The Sabres are home tonight - I won't be going. In later years we had dinner and a whole lot of drinks with another couple. The kids were the one's who'd sit around and watch us drink and play cards and laugh. We haven't done that in a couple of years. In fact, last year I fell asleep at 10:30. The first time that I had missed the New Year being ushered in. And I'm not quite sure why I have sort of lost int...

I've been sitting on this D.B. of the Week for a few weeks. Perhaps you never heard of the author of a blog - Katelyn Carmen. She gives advice - not sure if it's solicited or not - on marriage. Recently she wrote an opinion piece on what makes a marriage work. I caught up with it in the Huffington Post. And I'm all for saying whatever the hell you want. I'm also all for opinions... ...but I also have the backs of my female readers and this piece sort of hit me as being D.B. worthy. Ready? Carmen says that women are destroying their husbands because they employ five severely destructive things she says that will ultimately ruin a women's relationship with her husbands. Carmen says that women should: 1). Always live within her husband's means. 2). Never complain. 3). Always put her husband first. 4). Use sex as a "sacred tool" and 5). Never withhold sex. So, I probably have a whole bunch of men out there wondering why I am g...

Well, 2014 is about to go down into the history books. What kind of year? I put a book out there. Dogs On Main Street was a whole lot of fun. I only went through a lot of the work because I liked it and I wanted to give it to the people who read along all these years. They liked it! So that was great. It won an award at the New York Book Festival as well...so the work was validated. The 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized Sports missed the playoffs in Jeter's final year...so that wasn't great. The Bills stretched their playoff-less streak to 15 years and the Sabres are really pretty bad. So despite the fact that I'm only emotionally invested in the Yankees... It wasn't a great sports year. How about the politics of the land? There were a whole bunch of arguments about guns early on. Nothing was resolved. Left and Right battled all year. No cooperation. Health Care or Not? Everyone agreed we had to ...

I was in the 9th grade. It was just another class, in the middle of all the long, usually boring classes. Our teacher was Mr. Griffin. He was different from the other teachers because he was funny. So, I guess his class was different, but I didn't expect the lesson to go as it did. He plunked a tape player down in the middle of the room and played a Beatles song. He told us that we were going to figure out the lyrics. That simple exercise changed a whole lot of things for me because I truly stopped just listening to the music...after breaking it all down...I began studying it. This song came onto my I-pod this morning as I was working. It's an amazing song. This one goes out to P.J. Griffin. Thanks for teaching this particular task. Eleanor Rigby - Lennon & McCartney Ah look at all the lonely people Ah look at all the lonely people Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice In the church where a wedding has been Lives in a dream Waits at the window, wearing the...

I'm not sure which book I read it in, but the author spoke about how everything that's created will someday come apart. Everything. You can build a structure out of the strongest materials, but eventually time and environmental conditions will break it apart. The only thing that truly stays together is what is inside of you, and although we also, eventually break down and come apart, the essence of what we were is still intact. And I believe... ...remains intact through eternity. That sort of came to me at 3:03 a.m. on Christmas morning when the high winds whipped through Western New York. I didn't really pay much mind to the weather reports because, let's be honest here, after the 85 inches of snow in November, nothing really scares me much. "They're calling for a foot of snow!" We shrug our shoulders. Anywhoha... The winds were slamming the house pretty good when I settled in for the Christmas Eve fitful sleep. Sam was promising th...

In the Fazzolari household we do a pretty good job of just ripping through the food. Then we whip through the presents. And hammer down the desserts. I kept thinking of Neil Young's song, Like A Hurricane yesterday. And there was a point in the party at our house yesterday where two little kids - I'd put them at about 3 and 4 - were ripping up wrapping paper and throwing it in the air. I thought about yelling for them to stop. After all, I'd be cleaning it up. But I just let them go. Partially because I was too tired - cooking for 40 or so isn't as easy as it used to be - but mostly because they were having a great time. And my boys had a great time too. All the presents! I don't know how my beautiful wife pulls off gathering all of it. But it truly is the love that you feel that stays longer than any gift that you received. I'll soon be getting mustard all over the new clothes I unwrapped. "These are good socks," Kathy said. ...

“Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection,” -- Winston Churchill “Christmas is not a time nor a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy is to have the real spirit of Christmas,” -- Calvin Coolidge “Don't let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone,” -- Taylor Caldwell “It's true, Christmas can feel like a lot of work, particularly for mothers. But when you look back on all the Christmases in your life, you'll find you've created family traditions and lasting memories. Those memories, good and bad, are really what help to keep a family together over the long haul,” -- Caroline Kennedy “Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart,” -- Washington Irving “Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone,” -- Charles M. Schulz “Christmas is the day that holds all time together,” --...

The anticipation of Christmas is amazing. In fact, that may be the most magical moment of all of it. As a kid the excitement was almost too much to handle. I recall waiting for Santa to come flying by and of course, we all tried to catch him in the act. I still laugh at something that Springsteen once said about it during one of his concert raps. Bruce said that he was kind of old when his sister broke the news that Santa wasn't real. Bruce confronted his Dad. "Dad, I know that Santa doesn't make all the toys at the North Pole, but he exists, right?" Bruce's Dad said: "Ask your mother." So, Bruce decides to stay up late and catch Santa in the act so he can prove to his sister that she is wrong. He hears the front door of the house open and he watches his Dad enter, on the front end of a brand new bike. "Dad! It's you!" Bruce cries. "Where is Santa?" "He's on the other end," Bruce's Dad says. A...

Whenever I think of my Dad's birthday I flip back in time to 1987. We were living in New Haven, Connecticut. Just me and Dad. We had been working together at a project that was heading south. Dad was the big boss on the project and I was a clerk of the works, writing long detailed progress reports. Except in December 1987 Dad made a decision to resign his position and take a job back in Buffalo. It took his replacement about 4 hours to decide my fate: "We're letting you go," Tony told me. "Given your Dad's situation we feel it's best that you look for something else." They were firing me just days before Christmas. (It's still the only job I've ever lost). Dad really didn't care much for the guy who was standing before me, relieving me of my duties. So I didn't care for him either. Tony, who was about 5'7" and 280 pounds, stood next to me as I cleaned out my desk as if I might steal something. There were 40 p...

An unstable man, (there are plenty of these types of men out there), posts a picture of his gun and a couple of other things on social media about wanting to kill police officers because of how he feels about recent events. He then shoots his girlfriend in the stomach and drives across a couple of states and hundreds of miles. He walks up to a police car, and simply assassinates two police officers. Then he does what all the grandstanding cowards do...he kills himself. Unfortunately there are so many shootings every night and there have been so many horrific murders this year...but this one had a truly gut-wrenching feel to it. We all know what has happened with the cops over the past few months. We know that there are still so many people so upset. Yet what I really wish is that we somehow could respond someway that doesn't make matters worse. "This is on Obama and Al Sharpton!" one man wrote. Really? A crazed man shoots three people and it's about ...

According to U.S. Preventive Services Task Force Guidelines, you are due to have a Colonoscopy performed to screen for colon cancer. There's a feel good letter, huh? Why did they capitalize Colonoscopy ? Why is it in bold letters? I'll tell you why. Because they know you're gonna' say: "This sucks!" Not sure if I've ever met anyone who was pumped for the old colon lookey-loo. Of course the letter goes on to say that Colon cancer is one of the most common and yet preventable cancers if caught in the early stages and that failure to detect cancer can lead to premature death. So, I'm gonna' make the phone call. Sometime after the first of the year, I suppose. "It's not so bad," a friend of mine said just a few months after he had the test done. "But you like that sort of thing," I said. He didn't laugh. "Dude, I know a guy who got colon cancer. It was a nasty ride. He has really suffered. ...

What could Sony do? If they played the movie, The Interview , there would have been lawsuits no matter what. Even if nothing happened there would have been a crafty lawyer out there who'd be willing to say that his client suffered an anxiety attack because he thought something might happen. Sony would have been painted as greedy and callous. So the flick got canceled. Now people are saying that they're cowards. And far be it of me to defend executives at a corporation, but the hack of their emails is scary because we seem to be in a cyber war of sorts. I turned to a co-worker at a dinner the other night. "How much trouble would you be in if they hacked your stuff...text messages included?" He laughed and looked at another co-worker, who also laughed. "What about you?" he shot back. "Oh, if the dialogue of my exchanges became public there'd be a call for a public lynching," I said. "I'd be drawn and quartered."...

Up nice and early on Wednesday to visit a contractor for a quick safety talk. Of course there was a Christmas party set and the employer delivered gifts to his employees. A nice relaxed meeting. Yet before it all got started I was chatting with an employee about getting out there to Christmas shop. "I'm not doing any this year," he said. I figured that he was a lot like me and that he didn't get out there because his wife handled it for him, but that wasn't the case. "I'm about to lose my car and then my house," he said. "I haven't been able to work because I got hurt and until I get surgery I'm in trouble. Disability just isn't cutting it. There won't be any presents under the tree this year. In fact, no tree!" He actually laughed. I wasn't real sure what to say. I asked him about his injury and he told me that it was just a freak thing that happened around the house, but he was certainly really injured. ...

Everyone blames the media for everything. Some dumb bastard gets caught doing something, or saying something ignorant and eventually the complaint will be that the media twisted it all out of proportion. Usually it's lame to blame the media. Not this week: They get the D.B. of the week award. Of course I'm talking about the SONY breach and the Seth Rogan-James Franco movie The Interview. For those not following along (it's been an awful week with mass shootings everywhere...plenty of horrendous news all over) but the movie is set to come out on Christmas. It's a crazy comedy about Rogen and Franco as journalists who are sent to kill the North Korean leader Kim Jong Junior. North Korea is upset about it and when crazy people get upset then really nasty things happen. (Allegedly...I don't want any hate, folks!) I can't wait to see the flick. Yet, as punishment for the movie coming out SONY's top executives had their email hacked and some r...

Robert Duvall is a great actor. Robert Downey Jr. might be better than him. We finally got to the theater to see the movie The Judge. We'd been wanting to see it since they first ran the previews. We waited long enough to see it in a theater that only cost $3 bucks to get in. I almost felt bad handing over so little money to the guy. He got me back on the small popcorn. That was $6. The movie was all about family. Love. Loss. Being pissed off. It was nearly two and a half hours long and didn't include a car chase, long drawn out sex scenes or even rough language that was even memorable. Kathy never left her seat once and commented later that it was just so intense all the way through. I looked at her at one point and she had tears in her eyes. "What the hell are you crying about?" But it was that sort of movie, and when the actors really get it right...you can sort of watch them all day. I'd believe Robert Downey Jr. as Porky Pig. And i...

My buddy Tom is celebrating his 50th birthday today. I can clearly recall the first time I met Tom. He had walked into my parents backyard holding a football. "Can I play?" he asked. We were ten years old at the time. Tom lived four houses up the road. The Popple family was a hop, skip and a jump across the road and they were flanked by the Lauber's and the Nagel's. The Rodlers, the Downes, the Awalds and the Doles were all within walking distance. There were kids our age everywhere. And we all played together... ...outside. Baseball, basketball, football, hockey. Every single day there was a game going. In fact, the games were so legendary, in our backyard, that soon there were other kids getting off the bus to come and play. Usually one or two kids stuck around for dinner, and I never once heard my mother or father complain about feeding any of them. In fact, Dad was like the guard dog at the door. He had to like the friend and the friend had t...

Evidently Steve Jobs last words were: Oh Wow. Oh Wow. Oh Wow. Now I'm not sure if he was glimpsing the other side or if he just sort of mumbled his way out of here, but the concept of last words sort of struck me as something that might be interesting to read about. Everything is available these days. I kind of like the last word of Italian artist Raphael : Happy. That's a good last word. Blues singer Bessie Smith said: I'm going, but I'm going in the name of the Lord. She had packed her bags just in case. The Chairman of the Board, Sinatra said: I'm losing it. Elvis' last words were even sadder. I'm going to the bathroom to read. But the whole last words thing is really strange when you think of Pistol Pete Maravich , who died so young, who said: I feel great Buddy Rich had a funny line. As he was being prepped for surgery that he would never come out of the nurse asked him if there was anything he 'couldn't take...

Okay, here we go...a sore subject, I suppose. Where do we draw the line on torture? Is it okay to keep someone awake for 180 hours or so as we try and drag sensitive information out of their tired brains? How about water-boarding to the edge of drowning? Is that okay? These are all questions that Americans are being forced to answer because of an old report that has just been released. It dates back to the Bush-Cheney days following 9/11. Obama voted to leave the debate in the past so no one is gonna' get in trouble over it. So the debate is pretty healthy. Everyone has an opinion. Here's mine. First off, I'm really not shocked by the report, I guess, and that's sad in and of itself. I'm not shocked that Americans are engaging in torture. And that's because all of it is sort of stomach-churning. You know, the war thing. I'm not a fan. It's not a ballgame. I kinda' think that's important to say because there's a littl...

I received a letter in the mail requesting some old paperwork. From 2009 through 2011. They wanted just three pieces of paper from back in those days. So, off I went, looking for them. I'm usually pretty organized. I have a couple of spots where I keep papers that I need and normally I can put my hands on what is required. But I couldn't find them. Which didn't set off a panic, mind you because I knew that if I didn't have them in the right spot there was one reason why they were moved: My beautiful wife. I knew that when she got home we'd be able to find where she had filed them. Hopefully. Yet the pleasure was in the journey. I looked through the box where I had put any and all newspaper clippings for the books. I actually read the book review for Nobody's Home. I read a couple of letters from a producer who'd been looking at making a movie of Counting On A Miracle. I found my 1993 tax return. And then the pile of newspapers. ...

Yesterday a story made the rounds on all the social media sites. It seems a 450-pound Florida man won $3 million in the lottery. Good for him, right? Well, he was a convicted sex offender and not one of those got 'caught peeing in the woods' types of offenders. His offense was hardcore, evidently, dealing with a 9-year old. Which immediately made me think of karma and the fact that we're supposed to get what we have coming to us, right? I had that very debate with a dopey bastard (who will remain nameless) just a few weeks earlier. I said that there's no such thing as karma - "otherwise all the people on death row would be suffering with some sort of debilitating disease". Right? Anyway, I was inspired. I bought five Win for Life tickets. The fat sex offender won his three mil on a scratch-off. You know what I won? Yeah. Nothing. Not a dime. Where's my karma? There are a lot of people who really think that people who cause ...

Thomas Vanek is a hockey player for the Minnesota Wild. He played a lot of years with the Sabres and while he scored a lot of goals while he was here, he eventually left because he wanted a new contract that paid him a lot more money than what the Sabres were willing to spend. I now know why he wanted more money. You see, it is being alleged that Vanek liked to bet on sports. The man who took those bets had a lot to say about Vanek's proficiency as a gambler. Let's just say that he's a better hockey player. This week's D.B. of the week reportedly was ten million bucks in the hole while betting on sports! Ten Million Dollars! That's a whole bunch of stupid bets, right? "He wasn't very good at it," the bookie said. Of course, when you bet and lose people want to be paid. Vanek was pressured. He wrote a check for more than $200,000. The bookie cashed it and paid for a wedding. The cops got wind of the whole sordid circuit and t...

That Kate Middleton is one good-looking girl, isn't she? She's no Kathy Fazzolari, mind you, but she is certainly attractive. Therefore, I don't much mind when they come around these parts. I think they're in the country to save the rhinos or something, but regardless...we roll out the red carpet. Which is really weird, right? Kings and queens and princes and princesses. It's all so fairy tale like and they appear to be just regular folk. Royal blood? Weird. Yet what sort of galls me about it is that they went to a basketball game and they had the chance to sit with the king and queen of America. Jay-Z and Beyonce. Of course, Beyonce is also a fetching young lady, but I'm a little turned off by Jay-Z. First off he represented Cano and after years and years of wearing the Yankee cap he ushered Robby right out the door. Now when I see him in a Yankee cap I scream at the television. Then I am of the opinion that his "music" sort of r...

Okay. I was confused. I'd only had Creme Brulle one other time. We were a group at a restaurant that was pretty wild in the first place. The Brazilian restaurant featured a salad bar and then a group of waiters coming by with unbelievable cuts of meats on big sticks. We could eat as much as we wanted. I felt like a dog who is left behind on vacation with the entire bag of food at his disposal. "I might eat until I fall on the floor," I mentioned. Yet I wasn't alone. All six of us were eating like mad. "Sort of feels like the Roman Empire days," I said. "Restaurants like these are why the vomatoriums became popular," my brother-in-law Chuck said. We laughed. So, I was a bit discombobulated when the desserts were offered. But I remembered that the Creme Brulle was good. I ordered it. It was served with what looked like a cinnamon candy stick on the top of the dessert. I sniffed it. Definitely cinnamon. I bit it. ...

Not sure if the family is gonna' make the trip to the cathedral of baseball, Yankee Stadium, to see the new shortstop: Didi Gregorious. Wow. Yet I recall 1996 when the Yankees broke camp with a rookie shortstop, Derek Jeter. No Team Has Ever Won A World Series With A Rookie SS , the headlined screamed. I had mentioned that to my brother, Jeff. I also asked: "How long before they trade for a shortstop? They gotta' replace this kid. He can't hit." I changed my mind quickly, of course, and forever more people can't say that 'no team has ever won a World Series with a rookie shortstop'. Because the '96 Yankees did. And to answer my question...'How long before they trade for a shortstop?' 18 years. But it's weird, right? The infield is now most likely to be: Texeiria, Refsnyder, Gregorious and Prado. Wow. Perhaps there were those in Yankee land who felt the same when Mantle left. "Bobby Murcer?" ...

Twitter is a weird place. I go there quite a bit. In fact, I never thought I'd be finding my news in 140-character stories. But when there is baseball news being reported I open up the little blue bird icon and search. Of course there is plenty of other stuff on there. Like porn, or social commentary, or porn, or sports editorials, or porn. There are also about 740 photos of Kim Kardashian's ass. The other night I was sifting through such drivel when I saw a photo of Michael Sam (the gay, unemployed football player) and Dave Chapelle (the extremely funny comedian). They were posing for the camera with their hands up in the air. I get it, I suppose. They are black men and they are showing their support for the men who died when in confrontation with the police. Yet, don't let the facts get in the way, right? Listen...I know why people are protesting. I know why there are demonstrations by both the black and white all across the country. I was absolutely up in...

My sister is celebrating a birthday today! All hail the Queen!! And of course, Corinne has been a tremendous part of my life since day one. We have been through the entire catastrophe of a beautiful life together as siblings in a close family. We've laughed for hours. We've cried for months. We've shared food and beverages. We have had deep conversations about meaningless subjects and we've had silly conversations about the most important of all matters. We've disagreed, agreed and agreed to disagree. There have been moments when we weren't thrilled with one another, I'm sure (although I am certainly eternally lovable), but we've always known one thing to be sure: Love is where it's at. Corinne means a lot to the entire family. Along with her truly lovely husband, Charles, she brings entertainment to my boys. "She's a freaking beauty," one of my kids comments every few weeks. And then they laugh. Every year we...

The Buffalo Sabres are playing great. And people are starting to get really peeved about it here in Buffalo. Seriously. Why would fans of the team be rooting for them to lose? Well, because the first and second picks of next year's draft are supposed to be really great players. To be honest with you, I don't know much about the budding superstars. I know the one kid is named McDavid and he is tearing it up in Erie, PA., but I have never seen him play. Evidently he's like Crosby from Pittsburgh, or even better, Wayne Gretzky. The team that gets him will be an instant contender, or so say the experts. The guy who's supposed to go second in the draft is also a game-changer. So tank it, right? Well, evidently the Sabres coach didn't get the memo. Ted Nolan is whipping the current group into shape and after a horrific start to the season the kids are working hard and not only competing, but, gulp... ...winning. I've pretty much lost interest in ...

All right, I admit it. I'm being a little lazy because this one is so easy. Al Sharpton could be D.B. of the week about 30 times a year. He's so eternally annoying. Yet as soon as the verdict was announced in Ferguson you knew that Sharpton would be front and center, screaming about the horrors of it all. And perhaps Sharpton does speak for someone somewhere, but you wish that he would center in on the facts of a case instead of just spewing hate speech which he disguises as love speech. Is there a point to the protest for Sharpton in Ferguson? Well, that is a much healthier debate. Certainly, maybe, perhaps, maybe not. The thing about it is that Sharpton, and his partner in 'I'm-talking-here-but-you-have-no-idea-what-words-I'm-trying-to-string-together,' Jessie Jackson simply step out front and fuel what is already a highly combustible situation. And it sort of rubs people the wrong way. Now I know that both Sharpton and Jackson have had a ...

It's been quite a few years now since I've worried much about the gifts that we hand out around here. A friend of mine with a young son posted a photo of what his boy wanted for Christmas: Transformers and Power Rangers. Those were the days when I was fully engaged. I'd help Kathy search out the toys that the kids wanted because I was deathly afraid of what might happen if they didn't get them. I hated the tantrums. I remember the year when it was all about Godzilla and the new Godzilla movie that was coming out. The Cartoon Network was promoting that thing heavily, and you can look up this information, but do you know when they finally released it? December 26. Yeah, I had to have a long, drawn-out debate about why it wasn't under the tree when it was supposed to be. I blamed it on Santa, that fat, lazy bastard. Yet it all feels weird to me now. Kathy does all the shopping - most of it in an epic two or three day event right after Thanksgiving...

My beautiful wife really needs to get this shirt for Christmas. 'Cause she got lucky. And perhaps there is a downside to marrying an Italian-American, but one thing is for certain: Food is always in one stage of preparation or another. Of course, there are a couple of minor downsides... ...like the need for things to be in order... ...the need for constant movement... ...the sometimes quick temper. We watched a movie about an old mobster getting out of jail and returning to his old neighborhood. I liked the movie (despite the tired old Italian-mafia theme) because the guy talked like my Dad and my Grandpa. Everything was black and white. Food preparation was evident. Family was supremely important. And best of all, when the guy swore in Italian, I laughed out loud. He was short-tempered, principled and straight-forward. My wife was watching along, of course, and I mentioned that the guy was a lot like Grandpa. "That's a nightmare," she s...

We are now in season 4 of Homeland and there's a scene where Saul is talking to an Islamic terrorist and they're speaking of the hate the country has for Americans. Saul gives an impassioned speech, wondering about how the guy can kill off his own family in the name of religion. The guy explains that the hatred in his heart is too much to take and it wipes out all other emotions. That is crazy to me. The other day a guy on Facebook posted that the Mets have a better chance of making the playoffs in 2015 than the Yankees do. I mentioned that: "I hear the same thing every year. It's only November. 1986 was a long time ago." Nothing bad...just pure baseball rhetoric. Someone I've never met commented: "As a Yankee fan, Your (sic) a card carrying ass%&le and you should just STFU." Even with my limited understanding of all these initials I knew what that stood for. (By the way...'your' and 'you're' must've re...