What's Up With Bacon?

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It's sort of funny that we have the first lady talking about an exercise program for kids, people speaking about healthcare, and the leaders explaning that we need to work to eat better, and then we have a sort of bacon explosion going on.

Have you tried a bacon sundae yet?

Me neither.

Supposedly that is a bowl of ice cream with a little chocolate sauce and bacon bits sprinkled over the top.

That's not enough, though.

Now there's a bacon burger coming out - it's being served in Southern California.

We've all had a burger with bacon on top, right?

This isn't the same thing. This is a burger made completely out of bacon. For good measure it is served with bacon on top.

I know people who call bacon "meat candy" (Hi Pops) and can eat it by the pound. You wouldn't know it to look at me, but I can honestly take it or leave it.

When I order eggs I have a side of sausage instead. Obviously it's not for health reasons. I'm just not bacon-obsessed.

Another reason why I don't eat it much is because one of my official duties around here is to make breakfast. Cooking a pound of bacon is a pain in the ass when you're also trying to do eggs, pancakes and make the toast while the deadbeats I live with it tap their forks off their plates as they wait to be served.

And I don't like it crispy and my beautiful wife does, so guess which way I have to prepare it?

Yeah, crispy.

So perhaps I will wait and try a bacon sundae. Or just a nice big ball of bacon covered in gravy and served over ice cream.

I've always said that if the chefs of the world could come up with deep-fried butter they'd have a billion dollar idea.

Imagine that meal.

"I'll have the deep fried butter as an appetizer, the bacon burger with double cheese, and a bacon sundae to follow."

"Will that be all?"

"Can I get a side of gravy? And a Diet Pepsi?"

I can just hear you getting fatter.

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