But Tom is An Element!
What the hell is wrong with Katie Holmes?
Didn't she see Tom Cruise bouncing on Oprah's couch like a weird lunatic?
Doesn't she know that he is a superstar who can beat up everyone in the movies?
Despite the fact that he's about 5'2"
Doesn't she know that Tom also sits at the right hand of L.Ron Hubbard who wrote his own nonsensical Bible?
He's the father of Siri, for crying out loud and she appears to be the voice that pops up on my I-phone whenever I hold it to my ear by mistake.
I don't get it?
My heart aches for poor Tom. He's had three beautiful wives. They've all cast him aside.
Don't they appreciate a little homosexuality (allegedly) in their husbands?
And of course, now we have the juicy details of the split.
Katie went straight for the throat. She wants full custody of Siri and $3 million dollars for every year that she was married to the god of fire or whatever the hell he is.
What a weird dude, huh?
Perhaps I'm wrong. Obviously I don't know the man.
This is what I do know and a few of my lingering questions:
1). I tried to read the L. Ron Hubbard book. I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
2). Same with that Vanilla movie that Tom made.
3). I thought Dustin Hoffman's character was the cool one in Rainman.
4). I never understood any of the Mission Impossible movies either.
5). The couch jump was really creepy.
6). Tom and Travolta share the same massage therapists?
7). Katie Holmes is cute.
8). Siri has never helped me and she always says, "I didn't get that."
9). Why do we care when celebrities get married?
10). Or divorced?
11). Who will he marry next to cover up the fact that he's a weird dude?
12). If I write a blog bashing Tom am I ruining my chances for eternal happiness in the afterlife of flying aliens?
I'm just so damn confused by this.
Didn't she see Tom Cruise bouncing on Oprah's couch like a weird lunatic?
Doesn't she know that he is a superstar who can beat up everyone in the movies?
Despite the fact that he's about 5'2"
Doesn't she know that Tom also sits at the right hand of L.Ron Hubbard who wrote his own nonsensical Bible?
He's the father of Siri, for crying out loud and she appears to be the voice that pops up on my I-phone whenever I hold it to my ear by mistake.
I don't get it?
My heart aches for poor Tom. He's had three beautiful wives. They've all cast him aside.
Don't they appreciate a little homosexuality (allegedly) in their husbands?
And of course, now we have the juicy details of the split.
Katie went straight for the throat. She wants full custody of Siri and $3 million dollars for every year that she was married to the god of fire or whatever the hell he is.
What a weird dude, huh?
Perhaps I'm wrong. Obviously I don't know the man.
This is what I do know and a few of my lingering questions:
1). I tried to read the L. Ron Hubbard book. I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
2). Same with that Vanilla movie that Tom made.
3). I thought Dustin Hoffman's character was the cool one in Rainman.
4). I never understood any of the Mission Impossible movies either.
5). The couch jump was really creepy.
6). Tom and Travolta share the same massage therapists?
7). Katie Holmes is cute.
8). Siri has never helped me and she always says, "I didn't get that."
9). Why do we care when celebrities get married?
10). Or divorced?
11). Who will he marry next to cover up the fact that he's a weird dude?
12). If I write a blog bashing Tom am I ruining my chances for eternal happiness in the afterlife of flying aliens?
I'm just so damn confused by this.
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