Missed the Rapture Again

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It always amazes me that there are people out there, walking amongst us, who believed that the rapture date was September 23, 2025.

First off, September 23rd is Bruce’s birthday- he turned 76 yesterday - God isn’t going to disrupt the Boss’ birthday.

Secondly, those who believed that the rapture was imminent were so sure that they’d be lifted straight out of their shoes and taken to heaven.

Now what do they do today now that it didn’t happen?

Why move the date, of course!

They need to come up with a new date, and work on convincing themselves that the next one is the real one.

Seriously, there are people who sell all their worldly possessions, and get themselves a brand new haircut so they can stand at the pearly gates and sell themselves to Saint Peter.

“I’m on the list! God pulled me up. I told everyone! I was right!!”

I’ve always wondered why God only seems to speak with crazy people.

There was a woman on a Dateline episode recently. She’d been shot in the face by the guy her husband hired.

“I was on the floor of the garage and I was aware that I’d been shot and I heard a voice tell me to stay strong and get up.”

“Who said that?” The reporter asked.

“It was Jesus,” the woman said, as she teared up. “He was in the garage with me. I knew His voice instantly.”

The reporter nodded.

“What happened next?”

“I woke up in the hospital a few days later.”

If I was the reporter I would’ve asked:

“Did Jesus drive you to the hospital?”

So, we’re all still here.

Let me know when the next end date is…

…I’ll have a bag packed to go either way.

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